My sympathies for your pain and resentment. Maybe you are not meant to procreate. I know many people who are not parents. And this is not a bad thing in and of itself. You can forgive yourself though. This is essential for a happy existence. Your are worthy of forgiveness if you are willing to offer forgiveness yourself. Peace
I had a dream about my daughter in Heaven. She would be 40 years old but in Heaven they do not grow the way they do here and she was more like three years old. She is very glad to be reconciled with me. That is their dream for their parents to make it to heaven so they can get to know them. My daughter told all her friends and they all rejoiced together that she was able to meet her father and we have the opportunity to get to know each other when I get to heaven. They will be resurrected. So the will still come back to the earth. But they will never know the earth in the fallen condition that it is in now. They will only hear what others say about it.