- Jul 4, 2018
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Dang! Well, I hope all goes well with you both.Haven't married yet. Between the Navy, covid, and the visa process...
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Dang! Well, I hope all goes well with you both.Haven't married yet. Between the Navy, covid, and the visa process...
I have his book. And, it sounds like the good points of what he says is exemplified in what you say here. There is truth to being assertive, courageous, strong (humble), and a rock for your woman. However, I would say that David isn’t Orthodox, so it would be difficult for me to take everything he says verbatim. What would you say are positives from that book and negatives that a man shouldn’t follow?Relationships don't end from a lack of love they end from a lack of attraction.
You must learn to be masculine as much as possible and she must learn to be feminine as much as possible. This creates the polarity between the two energies and the result is passion and attraction.
Another rule put simply is like this: If you do what you did at the beginning of the relationship at then end of the relationship, there will be no end.
As far as masculine and feminine staying attracted and keeping things easy and passionate like they were at the beginning, there are three things the man must avoid and three things the woman avoid.
Men (3 U's):
Never let her feel unseen. Most women who cheat do so because they feel unseen. Men must sincerely acknowledge her. This means we aren't trying to fix the problem she's having - she doesn't want it to be fixed. It just means we listen and sincerely acknowledge her as a person.
Men see problems as something to destroy and solve immediately, or they distract themselves from it or shrink it down so they feel it's irrelevant.
Women see problems as something to share and connect with.
So if she tells you her problem and you fix it, which is what you are hardwired for, then she will feel like, "he doesn't care." That's because she was trying to share and connect and you smashed her problem to bits (solved it).
Never let her feel not understood. We can't ever truly understand what it's like to be a woman, and at the same time we can empathize. You don't need to truly understand how she manages to do everything she does while there are hormones raging through her body, just empathize.
Never let her feel unsafe. Women feel afraid/in danger far more than men do. Ask around how many times men felt like they were in danger throughout the week and compare it with what the women report. You will see women feel they are in danger far more than men. Don't let her feel unsafe. This leads to another priority: Never, never, never, ever, ever threaten the relationship. The most successful couples NEVER threaten their relationship.
Women (3 C's):
Don't criticize/coach your man: Criticism is kryptonite to the masculine. It's the only thing that can kill Superman. The rule is if you criticize him once, you're wrong. Many times women think they are not criticizing, they say, "I'm coaching" but that's the same thing to men. You are killing your hero.
Don't close off to him: If a women closes off she loses her radiance and becomes masculine. This kills the passion and the man turns feminine. This means no happiness for either and the attraction is killed. Remember, relationships don't end from a lack of love, they end from a lack of attraction.
Don't control him: Men hate themselves when they are begin controlled. She must let go of her need to control.
The solution is to just Love, Accept, Cherish, shower with Love and Acceptance.
Also, feminine flourish with Praise; masculine flourish with Challenge.
If you'd like to learn more about masculine/feminine read David Deida. He's the one Tony Robbins recommends for relationships/love/sex. His book "The Way of the Superior Man" is exactly what I'd give to my 12 year old self.
Any questions, please ask and I'll do my best to answer. I'm learning to and preparing for my next relationship so I can get it right this time and enjoy all the beautiful benefits of keeping a relationship thriving and growing and passionate. I am really excited to make my ultimate relationship.
Well, it was a man who wrote this book haha in real life, he's not much of a partner if he isn't problem solving. Pretty sure a top complaint of most women is a guy who won't find solutions and leaves us to figure it out alone...Women might not mind having some problems solved. When my car breaks down, that’s a problem, and I’m VERY PLEASED if he can solve it!