Female inappropriate content addiction, can't stop

Maria Billingsley said:

The only way to begin the process of eliminating this addiction is to be filled with His Holy Spirit, which you may be quenching.

touching yourself is self love and you have made a habit of it. Everyone hides behind inappropriate contentography and I find it disingenuous. It is simply a visual to accomplish the task. Yes, I said it. Let's move on...
I can't comment much more other than reiterate that the only way to quell your "self loving" is to love Him more.
Be blessed.

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This will apparently come as a surprise to you, but not all inappropriate content addicts are masturbation addicts. Some of us could binge watch inappropriate content night and day yet never touch at all.

Gregorikos said:

This will apparently come as a surprise to you, but not all inappropriate content addicts are masturbation addicts. Some of us could binge watch inappropriate content night and day yet never touch at all.

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I doubt that. Sorry.

Gregorikos said:

This will apparently come as a surprise to you, but not all inappropriate content addicts are masturbation addicts. Some of us could binge watch inappropriate content night and day yet never touch at all.

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Continued...the imagery is still in the mind.

Maria Billingsley said:

Continued...the imagery is still in the mind.

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It certainly is. But that doesn't mean you have to msturbate. Male chastity is a thing, you should learn about that. They have all sorts of devices that lock. Or there is sheer willpower. I don't want to say too much here, but trust me, one can look at inappropriate content daily and yet touch far less frequently than that.

sdk80 said:

I don't know how to start this other than I think my inappropriate content addiction is causing a great deal of anxiety and emotional upheaval in my life. It's a sin that I keep reverting to, no matter how many times I pray for forgiveness and promise not to do it again. Just doing quick browse of this board, it looks like inappropriate content addiction is the #1 struggle here, but it's hard to find women struggling with it.

It started when I was around 16 and inappropriate content was becoming pervasive on the internet. Finding erotic fiction online was fairly easy, and my parents accidentally caught me reading it one day. I wasn't at the computer, but I'd forgotten to close out the window, and I was the only who'd been home using the computer. I fiercely denied it had been me, and tried to make some excuse about a spam site coming up. They dropped it and I didn't get in trouble, but I think they knew the truth.

Soon I discovered inappropriate contentographic pictures and videos, and even stole my parent's credit card once to sign up for a inappropriate content site. It had a free trial, so I made sure to cancel the subscription before their card was charged and it showed up on their statement. Eventually, I got my own credit card and signed up. Then sites like inappropriate contenthub came along, and suddenly everything was free, more plentiful, and easier to access.

To this day I switch up between erotic fiction online, video, and audio inappropriate content...whatever I'm in the mood for. It's desensitized me to sex, to foul language, and I've used it to replace a real relationship. In fact, I've never been intimate with another person, even though I crave that closeness. There are other issues that have affected my choice to remain single, so I think I've been relying on inappropriate content to provide that stimulation that I'm lacking in reality.

Part of me tries to justify it with being single. Married people and people in relationships can rely on one another for sexual stimulation, and it's almost impossible to achieve with basically no external source. However, I know the Bible is against lust and God intended sex to be shared within marriage...which is why I've not actually had sex with another person. Despite everything else, I'm still a virgin. That's really hard to admit at 39.

I can remember being instinctively fascinated with "sex" even as early as 4 years old. I had no idea what sex was until I was around 11 or 12, but you know how kids get curious and experiment. Well, that happened with other kids my age. It was all innocent, but I remember having lots of thoughts and desires as a kid skewed towards things of a sexual nature. I never had any adults abuse me or molest me, and none of the adults I was around would have ever approved of some of the stuff us kids did - even if we never went THAT far with things.

So here I am 20+ years later still stuck in a inappropriate contentography addiction. Every time I reach for my phone when I'm in the mood, I know I'm sinning and I know I promised God I wouldn't keep doing this. I know I'll feel bad about it later, and I'm afraid of punishment from God for continuing this sin. One thing I don't know is what to do about it. It's almost like I don't want to give it up because then I'll be forced to either be alone, or face the terrifying prospect of having to find a real partner. Today's been awful. I've felt anxious and depressed all day, which isn't uncommon after indulging in this addiction.

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Thank you for your vulnerability, I understand this is really hard, but it is the first step for healing.

From my understanding, 90% of sex addiction has something to do with the father, not because someone was abused by their father but because they lacked something from him; you just don't know what it is and your soul is trying to process it. Your soul is trying to get something from inappropriate content that your physical father was supposed to provide until you were able to get it from God, your real Father; not necessarily a physical need but it could also be an emotional need or a combination of both. Our physical fathers are supposed to be a reflection of God, our Heavenly Father, until we are mature enough to understand how to receive from Him; that's why family is so important and why the devil works so hard in destroying families.

Just like with alcohol, the problem with inappropriate content is that it also provides a chemical addiction. Your brain releases endorphins and serotonin which provide a relief feeling. Its the same chemical released with other addictions that create pleasure. After a while, your body needs it, you get addicted to it, so I think you are not addicted to the actual inappropriate content, but to whatever your body is releasing that is giving you relief. Also, I wonder if you are an empath. People who are empathic "absorb" whatever the other person is feeling, so in a way, you could be feeding an emotion from the people you are looking at in inappropriate content, making your body release those chemicals and giving you relief and pleasure. You are getting a counterfeit, the devil is providing something you are supposed to be receiving from God.

I heard a counselor (Bob Hamp) say once that when the urge comes, to grab a piece of paper o journal what you are thinking. To write it all down, that in most cases, it helps people stop the desire and stops you from sinning.

Another thing you can do is talk honestly to God. Tell Him exactly what you are going through and doing (confess). You can ask for forgiveness if it helps you, but try to concentrate more in being honest, bringing your struggle to the light. Sometimes we assume He knows our struggles so we don't tell Him, but confessing-being honest is really powerful. Don't hide anything. Learn to process it with God. You can also process it with a counselor but the ultimate goal is to learn to process things with the Trinity.

You can give your "ashes" and He will give you a crown of beauty, a crown of victory. When you are honest with Him about your struggles, you can surrender them to Him and ask Him for an exchange, for what He wants to provide.

Wishing you well!

This might provide more information. Brain Chemicals and inappropriate content Addiction: How inappropriate content Harms Us

This helped me a lot to understand addiction. Bob Hamp has a lot of free resources in his FB page as well.

sdk80 said:

One thing you touched on that struck a chord with me is "I want a husband." That may be the problem. I mentioned that I have other issues that have kept me from real intimacy, and that issue is I've struggled with my sexual identity all my life. I've always wanted to be male, and since I can't ever achieve that in reality, I've avoided romance. The weird thing is I'm attracted to men, but also want to be one...it's complicated.

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You want a husband? You want a family? You want cute little hoomans running about and hugging you, calling you "mummy! i love you!" That will give you so much happiness and it might erase your identity crisis.

For me, I don't want to have kids at all. Never had any desire to have one. I'm happy the way my life is.

sdk80 said:

I don't know how to start this other than I think my inappropriate content addiction is causing a great deal of anxiety and emotional upheaval in my life. It's a sin that I keep reverting to, no matter how many times I pray for forgiveness and promise not to do it again. Just doing quick browse of this board, it looks like inappropriate content addiction is the #1 struggle here, but it's hard to find women struggling with it.

It started when I was around 16 and inappropriate content was becoming pervasive on the internet. Finding erotic fiction online was fairly easy, and my parents accidentally caught me reading it one day. I wasn't at the computer, but I'd forgotten to close out the window, and I was the only who'd been home using the computer. I fiercely denied it had been me, and tried to make some excuse about a spam site coming up. They dropped it and I didn't get in trouble, but I think they knew the truth.

Soon I discovered inappropriate contentographic pictures and videos, and even stole my parent's credit card once to sign up for a inappropriate content site. It had a free trial, so I made sure to cancel the subscription before their card was charged and it showed up on their statement. Eventually, I got my own credit card and signed up. Then sites like inappropriate contenthub came along, and suddenly everything was free, more plentiful, and easier to access.

To this day I switch up between erotic fiction online, video, and audio inappropriate content...whatever I'm in the mood for. It's desensitized me to sex, to foul language, and I've used it to replace a real relationship. In fact, I've never been intimate with another person, even though I crave that closeness. There are other issues that have affected my choice to remain single, so I think I've been relying on inappropriate content to provide that stimulation that I'm lacking in reality.

Part of me tries to justify it with being single. Married people and people in relationships can rely on one another for sexual stimulation, and it's almost impossible to achieve with basically no external source. However, I know the Bible is against lust and God intended sex to be shared within marriage...which is why I've not actually had sex with another person. Despite everything else, I'm still a virgin. That's really hard to admit at 39.

I can remember being instinctively fascinated with "sex" even as early as 4 years old. I had no idea what sex was until I was around 11 or 12, but you know how kids get curious and experiment. Well, that happened with other kids my age. It was all innocent, but I remember having lots of thoughts and desires as a kid skewed towards things of a sexual nature. I never had any adults abuse me or molest me, and none of the adults I was around would have ever approved of some of the stuff us kids did - even if we never went THAT far with things.

So here I am 20+ years later still stuck in a inappropriate contentography addiction. Every time I reach for my phone when I'm in the mood, I know I'm sinning and I know I promised God I wouldn't keep doing this. I know I'll feel bad about it later, and I'm afraid of punishment from God for continuing this sin. One thing I don't know is what to do about it. It's almost like I don't want to give it up because then I'll be forced to either be alone, or face the terrifying prospect of having to find a real partner. Today's been awful. I've felt anxious and depressed all day, which isn't uncommon after indulging in this addiction.

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Lord we want to lift up sdk80 to You. Lord she is struggling with inappropriate content and lust. Lord she has admitted she needs help. Father God please come upon her with Your Holy Spirit and break this addiction in the name of Jesus. We plead the Blood of Christ over her. Lord please help her. You said You would set a believer free. Lord please Holy Father do this in the name of Jesus. In Jesus's name. Amen.

Watching inappropriate content creates 'bindings' to inappropriate content, and they can be strong, that you cannot fight against it with your will, so you need to get rid of those either with the authority God gives you, or praying until God frees you. Either way praying is the way to go, this is how the bible says we should deal with our problems with God. And if a lot of time passes before God frees you, that time with prayer is going to be good for your relationship with God anyway in the meanwhile.

sdk80 said:

I feel like God will eventually give up on me. Isn't there a point where you're basically a lost cause and God lets you go? The problem is I have gone and sinned a lot more doing the same thing, countless times. It's gotten to the point where when I ask for forgiveness and promise not to do it anymore, I don't even believe myself.

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Let me ask you this.... In normal circumstances, how many times can you prick yourself with a needle before your body will decide to stop healing the hole you create? After how many times will it decide that you are doing it on purpose and therefore will refuse to heal, and let you just bleed out?
I would assume the answer is.....never. The one who made the body, cares about its resident, more than the body, itself, does.......

Very sorry to hear this. I've actually been in a similar boat before -- I've always been extremely tomboyish, went through an agnostic period around the same time you did (age 17), and I've had some major struggles with inappropriate contentography -- and you aren't going to find many women in this boat, I have to admit.

One thing I learned awhile back is there are essentially zero resources for women who struggle with inappropriate content, and in some Christian circles, there are even groups who are adamant that women cannot lust in similar ways to men. I've had to explain to people many, many times, that just because it's less common statistically, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It DOES exist. Some of us will drool over hot guys and go overboard with it just like men with attractive women. Not all of us are asexual robots who desire sex only for "emotional" reasons.

So how have I dealt with it?

Well, I did get married. It helps a lot. It won't stop you from noticing hot guys, and I had a relapse a few years ago when I found online naked pictures of a good-looking guy -- but it definitely helps a lot. The real thing is even better than the online thing, trust me.

You also have to be in the Word. No one is beyond the reach of God; He died for all. Don't fall into the trap of thinking this rare sin is somehow less forgivable or more insurmountable than a more common woman's sin. That's not Scriptural thinking.

I also encourage you to be part of a church. Pray and do research on doctrine and theology. Searching for objective truth will help keep your mind from constantly wandering to please yourself. (But I'd avoid discussing this specific issue with other women in the church; very few will understand it.)

sdk80 said:

I don't know how to start this other than I think my inappropriate content addiction is causing a great deal of anxiety and emotional upheaval in my life. It's a sin that I keep reverting to, no matter how many times I pray for forgiveness and promise not to do it again. Just doing quick browse of this board, it looks like inappropriate content addiction is the #1 struggle here, but it's hard to find women struggling with it.

It started when I was around 16 and inappropriate content was becoming pervasive on the internet. Finding erotic fiction online was fairly easy, and my parents accidentally caught me reading it one day. I wasn't at the computer, but I'd forgotten to close out the window, and I was the only who'd been home using the computer. I fiercely denied it had been me, and tried to make some excuse about a spam site coming up. They dropped it and I didn't get in trouble, but I think they knew the truth.

Soon I discovered inappropriate contentographic pictures and videos, and even stole my parent's credit card once to sign up for a inappropriate content site. It had a free trial, so I made sure to cancel the subscription before their card was charged and it showed up on their statement. Eventually, I got my own credit card and signed up. Then sites like inappropriate contenthub came along, and suddenly everything was free, more plentiful, and easier to access.

To this day I switch up between erotic fiction online, video, and audio inappropriate content...whatever I'm in the mood for. It's desensitized me to sex, to foul language, and I've used it to replace a real relationship. In fact, I've never been intimate with another person, even though I crave that closeness. There are other issues that have affected my choice to remain single, so I think I've been relying on inappropriate content to provide that stimulation that I'm lacking in reality.

Part of me tries to justify it with being single. Married people and people in relationships can rely on one another for sexual stimulation, and it's almost impossible to achieve with basically no external source. However, I know the Bible is against lust and God intended sex to be shared within marriage...which is why I've not actually had sex with another person. Despite everything else, I'm still a virgin. That's really hard to admit at 39.

I can remember being instinctively fascinated with "sex" even as early as 4 years old. I had no idea what sex was until I was around 11 or 12, but you know how kids get curious and experiment. Well, that happened with other kids my age. It was all innocent, but I remember having lots of thoughts and desires as a kid skewed towards things of a sexual nature. I never had any adults abuse me or molest me, and none of the adults I was around would have ever approved of some of the stuff us kids did - even if we never went THAT far with things.

So here I am 20+ years later still stuck in a inappropriate contentography addiction. Every time I reach for my phone when I'm in the mood, I know I'm sinning and I know I promised God I wouldn't keep doing this. I know I'll feel bad about it later, and I'm afraid of punishment from God for continuing this sin. One thing I don't know is what to do about it. It's almost like I don't want to give it up because then I'll be forced to either be alone, or face the terrifying prospect of having to find a real partner. Today's been awful. I've felt anxious and depressed all day, which isn't uncommon after indulging in this addiction.

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Sadly, Satan is obvious running rapid on the internet. inappropriate content has gone nuclear and is very rough. I never really had an issue until I found all the webcam sites. I know many many firends of mine with the same problem. I have used prepaid cards just like you. Me, though, only do this when i take Adderall which is now gone from my life.

Remember this, you are NOT alone in this. EVERYONE has had a inappropriate content problem at one point. Your struggles are shared by many. I'm also single and worried ill never find love again, but inappropriate content definitely does NOT make me feel closer to that goal. But my goodness its literally two clicks away on my browser at this moment.

inappropriate content and Satan are running rapid on the internet. Just know you are NOT alone.

A prayer for all struggling in the horrible trap!

AMEN!

sdk80 said:

I don't know how to start this other than I think my inappropriate content addiction is causing a great deal of anxiety and emotional upheaval in my life. It's a sin that I keep reverting to, no matter how many times I pray for forgiveness and promise not to do it again. Just doing quick browse of this board, it looks like inappropriate content addiction is the #1 struggle here, but it's hard to find women struggling with it.

It started when I was around 16 and inappropriate content was becoming pervasive on the internet. Finding erotic fiction online was fairly easy, and my parents accidentally caught me reading it one day. I wasn't at the computer, but I'd forgotten to close out the window, and I was the only who'd been home using the computer. I fiercely denied it had been me, and tried to make some excuse about a spam site coming up. They dropped it and I didn't get in trouble, but I think they knew the truth.

Soon I discovered inappropriate contentographic pictures and videos, and even stole my parent's credit card once to sign up for a inappropriate content site. It had a free trial, so I made sure to cancel the subscription before their card was charged and it showed up on their statement. Eventually, I got my own credit card and signed up. Then sites like inappropriate contenthub came along, and suddenly everything was free, more plentiful, and easier to access.

To this day I switch up between erotic fiction online, video, and audio inappropriate content...whatever I'm in the mood for. It's desensitized me to sex, to foul language, and I've used it to replace a real relationship. In fact, I've never been intimate with another person, even though I crave that closeness. There are other issues that have affected my choice to remain single, so I think I've been relying on inappropriate content to provide that stimulation that I'm lacking in reality.

Part of me tries to justify it with being single. Married people and people in relationships can rely on one another for sexual stimulation, and it's almost impossible to achieve with basically no external source. However, I know the Bible is against lust and God intended sex to be shared within marriage...which is why I've not actually had sex with another person. Despite everything else, I'm still a virgin. That's really hard to admit at 39.

I can remember being instinctively fascinated with "sex" even as early as 4 years old. I had no idea what sex was until I was around 11 or 12, but you know how kids get curious and experiment. Well, that happened with other kids my age. It was all innocent, but I remember having lots of thoughts and desires as a kid skewed towards things of a sexual nature. I never had any adults abuse me or molest me, and none of the adults I was around would have ever approved of some of the stuff us kids did - even if we never went THAT far with things.

So here I am 20+ years later still stuck in a inappropriate contentography addiction. Every time I reach for my phone when I'm in the mood, I know I'm sinning and I know I promised God I wouldn't keep doing this. I know I'll feel bad about it later, and I'm afraid of punishment from God for continuing this sin. One thing I don't know is what to do about it. It's almost like I don't want to give it up because then I'll be forced to either be alone, or face the terrifying prospect of having to find a real partner. Today's been awful. I've felt anxious and depressed all day, which isn't uncommon after indulging in this addiction.

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Do you know that you are THIRSTY?
Why you have not COME TO THE LORD and DRINK.

Have you heard what the woman from Samaria have said to Jesus:

The woman answered him, "I HAVE NO HUSBAND." Jesus said to her, "You are right in saying, 'I have no husband'; -John 4:17

So what this woman from Samaria is concerned AFTER THAT:
The woman said to him, "Sir, I perceive that you are a prophet. -John 4:19
Our fathers WORSHIPED on this mountain, but you say that in Jerusalem is the place where people ought to WORSHIP." -John 4:20

This woman from Samaria is also looking to fix her relationship with God !

What Jesus have said :
But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, FOR THE FATHER IS SEEKING SUCH PEOPLE TO WORSHIP HIM. -John 4:23
God IS SPIRIT, and those who WORSHIP HIM MUST WORSHIP IN SPIRIT AND TRUTH." -John 4:24

So if you wholeheartedly want to fix your relationship with God, WORSHIP HIM IN SPIRIT AND IN TRUTH !

So, spend your time worshiping God !
Why ? Are you not concerned about your complicated identity? Is not this woman from Samaria also have identity problem too : with five husbands and one is not considered a husband?
Did she not concern herself with carnal pleasure ?

What Jesus have offered her ?
Jesus said to her, "Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, -John 4:13
but WHOEVER drinks of the water that I will give him WILL NEVER BE THIRSTY AGAIN. THE WATER THAT I WILL GIVE him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." -John 4:14

So when you worship God, you identify yourself with God. Your mind identify yourself with God, as you have heard from Jesus that God is Spirit. When you worship, you identify yourself with the things of the Spirit or God.
You will find your identity through God.

What is the things of the Spirit?
His steadfast love, His mercy, His faithfulness, His strength, His loving kindness, His goodness, His gentleness, His majesty, His splendor, His glory, etc.

You grew up in the church ! You must have known about faith ! Yes, faith comes from hearing of God. But the words of faith, you need to speak out with trust in your heart; how you are going that? by singing, praising, and worshiping God ! Many biblical songs are taken from the Bible ! Speak your word of faith through worshiping God in spirit and truth.

Also, don’t stop asking God daily for forgiveness. After you have asked for forgiveness, worship God daily !

How about those anxiety?
Just pray a short prayer:
I submit myself to God. I resist all anxiety, shame, guilt, and condemnation in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen

when you are disturbed with thoughts and feelings of anxiety, shame, guilt, and condemnation, just pray again and again. You will see the devil flee.

How you can be strong and overcomer?
This is what we have heard from apostle John; I believe it could be addressed to young woman, too:

I write to you, young men, because you are strong, and THE WORD OF GOD ABIDES IN YOU, and you HAVE OVERCOME the evil one. -1 John 2:14

So the reason, you have not overcome before is that you are distancing yourself from the word of God and that the word of God have not abide in you !
I don’t suggest one bible verse one day; I will be asking you again : are you thirsty? So if you are thirsty, why you consider drinking only one drip ! That is crazy, right !

Hear again what Jesus have said:
It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The WORDS that I have spoken to you are SPIRIT and life. -John 6:63

So if you wholeheartedly want to overcome evil, let the words that Jesus have spoken abide in you.

How ?
This is what we have heard:
For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. -Romans 8:5

So you need to set your minds on the things of the Spirit, that is, the words that Jesus have spoken.

So whenever severe temptations come, pray for forgiveness, pray to resist the devil, deny yourself by setting your minds on the things of the Spirit, that is, His words.

Remember :ALL SCRIPTURE IS BREATHED OUT BY GOD and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, -2 Timothy 3:16
that the man of God may be COMPLETE, equipped for every GOOD WORK. -2 Timothy 3:17

So it means that God is speaking through His Spirit in all Scripture to you, in order that you may be complete as a woman, as a wife, as a mother, as a daughter and daughter-in-law, as child of God, as God’s beloved, as Jesus’ bride, and of course, God equip you for every good work in these matters if you believe Him.

So are you thirsty ?

sdk80 said:

One thing I don't know is what to do about it. It's almost like I don't want to give it up because then I'll be forced to either be alone, or face the terrifying prospect of having to find a real partner.

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There is only one way for you to break free and that is beginning a relationship with Jesus the inappropriate content lover. Honest begin to serve the LOrd when you are in the mood for inappropriate content.

You will find lots of opposition to this in your heart, that is where the wicked reside. inappropriate content is a massive trap that makes us love unfaithfully.

Eat grace when you fall. i broke away from really powerful addiction, including masturbation and the lust it had generated in my heart. Eating grace made me love Jesus.

This is the trick that breaks addictions, loving Jesus more than the object of our desires, this is what sets us free. Though it may take years to happen.

Can you see that you are divided within? You have a self who loves the Lord and selves where you don't love the Lord but other things, people of substances more than Him. It is about uniting our hearts in His loving truth and the more we take in His loving grace the more love for God will grow in us. Love for God does away with sin like nothing else can.

So please be of good courage and go to Jesus the inappropriate content lover you are and tell Him EVERYTHING, let His loving truth expose the wicked hiding behind the 'good feelings' you get watching inappropriate content.

Do watch out for unfaithful love, unfaithful love is the essence of your inappropriate content addiction, you love wrongly and to your detriment, unfaithful love will want to keep on sinning, keep giving Jesus those times and ask for faithful love back.

It is absolutely amazing what the love of God can do in a sinful heart if we let Him. So be of good courage and make sure you cement a in-depth relationship with our Lord. The more you let Him into your heart the freer of sinful needs you will become. Honestly true.

Be of good courage.

Wrong Brings No Good.

When wrong clings to us,
it darkens our counsel,
making us feel secretive,
Hiding itself behind lies.

It acts like a virus,
infecting the whole,
it is very destructive,
breaking us to bits.

Wrong brings fiery emotions,
hot and demanding feeling,
always sabotaging,
our every good intent.

Wrong brings darkness,
drought and famine,
guilt, shame, fear and war,
the killing fields!

Oh so much crying,
sadness to mourn,
souls forlorn,
from goodness bereft.

His Grace and Peace to you from God the Father and our Lord Jesus Christ.

sdk80 said:

I don't know how to start this other than I think my inappropriate content addiction is causing a great deal of anxiety and emotional upheaval in my life. It's a sin that I keep reverting to, no matter how many times I pray for forgiveness and promise not to do it again. Just doing quick browse of this board, it looks like inappropriate content addiction is the #1 struggle here, but it's hard to find women struggling with it.

It started when I was around 16 and inappropriate content was becoming pervasive on the internet. Finding erotic fiction online was fairly easy, and my parents accidentally caught me reading it one day. I wasn't at the computer, but I'd forgotten to close out the window, and I was the only who'd been home using the computer. I fiercely denied it had been me, and tried to make some excuse about a spam site coming up. They dropped it and I didn't get in trouble, but I think they knew the truth.

Soon I discovered inappropriate contentographic pictures and videos, and even stole my parent's credit card once to sign up for a inappropriate content site. It had a free trial, so I made sure to cancel the subscription before their card was charged and it showed up on their statement. Eventually, I got my own credit card and signed up. Then sites like inappropriate contenthub came along, and suddenly everything was free, more plentiful, and easier to access.

To this day I switch up between erotic fiction online, video, and audio inappropriate content...whatever I'm in the mood for. It's desensitized me to sex, to foul language, and I've used it to replace a real relationship. In fact, I've never been intimate with another person, even though I crave that closeness. There are other issues that have affected my choice to remain single, so I think I've been relying on inappropriate content to provide that stimulation that I'm lacking in reality.

Part of me tries to justify it with being single. Married people and people in relationships can rely on one another for sexual stimulation, and it's almost impossible to achieve with basically no external source. However, I know the Bible is against lust and God intended sex to be shared within marriage...which is why I've not actually had sex with another person. Despite everything else, I'm still a virgin. That's really hard to admit at 39.

I can remember being instinctively fascinated with "sex" even as early as 4 years old. I had no idea what sex was until I was around 11 or 12, but you know how kids get curious and experiment. Well, that happened with other kids my age. It was all innocent, but I remember having lots of thoughts and desires as a kid skewed towards things of a sexual nature. I never had any adults abuse me or molest me, and none of the adults I was around would have ever approved of some of the stuff us kids did - even if we never went THAT far with things.

So here I am 20+ years later still stuck in a inappropriate contentography addiction. Every time I reach for my phone when I'm in the mood, I know I'm sinning and I know I promised God I wouldn't keep doing this. I know I'll feel bad about it later, and I'm afraid of punishment from God for continuing this sin. One thing I don't know is what to do about it. It's almost like I don't want to give it up because then I'll be forced to either be alone, or face the terrifying prospect of having to find a real partner. Today's been awful. I've felt anxious and depressed all day, which isn't uncommon after indulging in this addiction.

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Just quit going to it. Realize that every person you are watching on the screen is going to hell without question. You must do everything in your power to not go to hell to be raped by demons and burn in fire forever. No [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] in the world is worth going to hell where you are absolutely so terrified at all times that you are literally going crazy and have no one to care or help you. No one. You are naked there and the stench is unbearable. There is no getting out , you will be eaten alive only to have your body grow back and have it happen again. Do everything in your power. No Filth is worth that. Please believe me.

I know from talking with a few people.
Can cause permanent damage to
mind, spirit and soul
sometimes destroys normal body functions.
M

Gregorikos said:

This will apparently come as a surprise to you, but not all inappropriate content addicts are masturbation addicts. Some of us could binge watch inappropriate content night and day yet never touch at all.

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This must be very difficult.

Jaxxi said:

Some of you could also end up wishing you had never watched it at all. This is a video put out by the church that might make you think twice about what you are doing. Next time you see intercourse on the screen, think of this.

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Why do you assume I still do this?

Gregorikos said:

Why do you assume I still do this?

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You said-
This will apparently come as a surprise to you, but not all inappropriate content addicts are masturbation addicts. Some of us could binge watch inappropriate content night and day yet never touch at all.

It reads like you are a inappropriate content addict who watches inappropriate content all night. There is no indication of anything different so my apologies for not reading into what isn't there. How could I know differently? Have you given her advice on how to quit? How did you rewire yourself to not think about it?

sdk80 said:

I don't know how to start this other than I think my inappropriate content addiction is causing a great deal of anxiety and emotional upheaval in my life. It's a sin that I keep reverting to, no matter how many times I pray for forgiveness and promise not to do it again. Just doing quick browse of this board, it looks like inappropriate content addiction is the #1 struggle here, but it's hard to find women struggling with it.

It started when I was around 16 and inappropriate content was becoming pervasive on the internet. Finding erotic fiction online was fairly easy, and my parents accidentally caught me reading it one day. I wasn't at the computer, but I'd forgotten to close out the window, and I was the only who'd been home using the computer. I fiercely denied it had been me, and tried to make some excuse about a spam site coming up. They dropped it and I didn't get in trouble, but I think they knew the truth.

Soon I discovered inappropriate contentographic pictures and videos, and even stole my parent's credit card once to sign up for a inappropriate content site. It had a free trial, so I made sure to cancel the subscription before their card was charged and it showed up on their statement. Eventually, I got my own credit card and signed up. Then sites like inappropriate contenthub came along, and suddenly everything was free, more plentiful, and easier to access.

To this day I switch up between erotic fiction online, video, and audio inappropriate content...whatever I'm in the mood for. It's desensitized me to sex, to foul language, and I've used it to replace a real relationship. In fact, I've never been intimate with another person, even though I crave that closeness. There are other issues that have affected my choice to remain single, so I think I've been relying on inappropriate content to provide that stimulation that I'm lacking in reality.

Part of me tries to justify it with being single. Married people and people in relationships can rely on one another for sexual stimulation, and it's almost impossible to achieve with basically no external source. However, I know the Bible is against lust and God intended sex to be shared within marriage...which is why I've not actually had sex with another person. Despite everything else, I'm still a virgin. That's really hard to admit at 39.

I can remember being instinctively fascinated with "sex" even as early as 4 years old. I had no idea what sex was until I was around 11 or 12, but you know how kids get curious and experiment. Well, that happened with other kids my age. It was all innocent, but I remember having lots of thoughts and desires as a kid skewed towards things of a sexual nature. I never had any adults abuse me or molest me, and none of the adults I was around would have ever approved of some of the stuff us kids did - even if we never went THAT far with things.

So here I am 20+ years later still stuck in a inappropriate contentography addiction. Every time I reach for my phone when I'm in the mood, I know I'm sinning and I know I promised God I wouldn't keep doing this. I know I'll feel bad about it later, and I'm afraid of punishment from God for continuing this sin. One thing I don't know is what to do about it. It's almost like I don't want to give it up because then I'll be forced to either be alone, or face the terrifying prospect of having to find a real partner. Today's been awful. I've felt anxious and depressed all day, which isn't uncommon after indulging in this addiction.

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Thank you for your raw HONESTY! I pray for your victory, however and whenever you find it.