- Jun 15, 2020
- 32
- 41
- 30
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- In Relationship
Trigger Warning: Mention of self harm
I'm absolutely terrified to pray because I'm afraid God won't answer it due to my prayer being too silly. I'm also afraid that I'm just using God as a genie to answer my every "wish". But that's not what I'm trying to do, but I'm afraid he will take it that way and not even bother to listen to my prayer.
For example: I lost my hairbrush, so I thought about praying for God to find it for me. But I'm afraid that's too "silly" of a prayer for God to answer, therefore my anxiety acts up, and I'm afraid he will think I'm just using him as a genie. So in response to that, I punish myself by using physical and/or verbal abuse. I'm just so afraid he will think I'm using him or he will think my prayer isn't good enough. In all honesty, I do pray for silly things a lot. Like if I misplace my lipstick or something, I'll pray for God to help me find it. Or if I'm in the kitchen and am out of parmasean cheese, I'll pray that God will find me some or something to replace it. Just simple things like that. For example "God please help me fix my eyeshadow evenly" "God please help my headache" or "God please make my boyfriend call me". Things that shouldn't really matter to our creator. I mean, he has more important prayers to answer than that. I could be praying for something else. And besides, not everything is about me, right? Other people are more important than what I am. Why would he want to answer something as stupid as the parmasesan cheese, which I know I'm not spelling correctly. Why would he want to answer anything I pray for? I just want to pray without worrying that I'm upsetting him or anything like that. What should I do?? Are my prayers too silly? Am I just using God for my own personal gain? I don't want to be that way I just want him to like me. I know he loves everyone, but what about like? Does he like us?
I'm absolutely terrified to pray because I'm afraid God won't answer it due to my prayer being too silly. I'm also afraid that I'm just using God as a genie to answer my every "wish". But that's not what I'm trying to do, but I'm afraid he will take it that way and not even bother to listen to my prayer.
For example: I lost my hairbrush, so I thought about praying for God to find it for me. But I'm afraid that's too "silly" of a prayer for God to answer, therefore my anxiety acts up, and I'm afraid he will think I'm just using him as a genie. So in response to that, I punish myself by using physical and/or verbal abuse. I'm just so afraid he will think I'm using him or he will think my prayer isn't good enough. In all honesty, I do pray for silly things a lot. Like if I misplace my lipstick or something, I'll pray for God to help me find it. Or if I'm in the kitchen and am out of parmasean cheese, I'll pray that God will find me some or something to replace it. Just simple things like that. For example "God please help me fix my eyeshadow evenly" "God please help my headache" or "God please make my boyfriend call me". Things that shouldn't really matter to our creator. I mean, he has more important prayers to answer than that. I could be praying for something else. And besides, not everything is about me, right? Other people are more important than what I am. Why would he want to answer something as stupid as the parmasesan cheese, which I know I'm not spelling correctly. Why would he want to answer anything I pray for? I just want to pray without worrying that I'm upsetting him or anything like that. What should I do?? Are my prayers too silly? Am I just using God for my own personal gain? I don't want to be that way I just want him to like me. I know he loves everyone, but what about like? Does he like us?