Shortcomings of a pastor

Really agree with you that we should attend where God wants us. My husband and I attended a particular church for several years and can relate to your situation.

In any relationship, things are going south if we focus on the shortcomings. We can try to love in our own effort but we can only love as we should when we rely on the Holy Spirit to help us.

Since you're working with him, could you help fill some of his weaknesses? That would cause you to grow. Plus you may be helping the others by doing so.

Maybe he realizes what you think and it's his way of protecting himself.

We're not to forsake the assembling of ourselves. And we can still use the many spiritual resources available online Think the depth of our walk is left up to us and our relationship with God.

btw, welcome to CF Hope you find your times here rewarding.

bob2000 said:

Hi I'm here for some advice.

I have been attending my church for almost a decade. After I graduated high school, I transitioned into the adult ministry. I seemed to have built resentment towards the adult ministry pastor.

I feel as if he though he has many shortcomings. He has very poor social skills, is very passive and is apathetic. He wanted to enter healthcare when he was younger but couldn't and he was diagnosed with depression. His parents recommended that he go to seminary, although he was hesitant. There is not much accountability or passion from him. He has served as a pastor in administration for 10 years at a previous megachurch and when he came to my church 4 years ago he started the lead position where he was expected to actually interact with people instead of solely focusing on the behind the scenes of a church. I have been serving under him for the past 3 years, but I feel as if I am not growing at all and if anything I am becoming more like him. 80% of the church left because of him when he started the adult ministry and I am trying very hard to love him, but it is difficult. Our ministry consists of 5 people. I really do not want to leave this church because God has not given me a sign.

What should I do? Does anyone have any experience or advice?

Click to expand...

Pray for him. Ask for wisdom from God as to how to relate to him. You need the love of God, not human love. Some people are impossible to love in the natural. That's a good time to depend on Jesus. I have a Christian friend who is driving me nuts right now. I'm speaking to myself as well as to you!

I don't have any advice really because it is a very hard situation that you are in.

My comment is just this, I don't know how common it is but I do think that there are quite a few who should not be in the ministry because it is my belief that it should be a real calling from God.

A church where I once attended, the minister there had no intentions of being a pastor, preferring mission work. He was asked to fill in and did so and then just ended up staying. By his own admission he told me it wasn't his actual choice.
He never seemed comfortable but still he stayed.
Pray about your situation ( I'm sure you are anyway) and follow Gods direction.

bob2000 said:

Hi I'm here for some advice.

I have been attending my church for almost a decade. After I graduated high school, I transitioned into the adult ministry. I seemed to have built resentment towards the adult ministry pastor.

I feel as if he though he has many shortcomings. He has very poor social skills, is very passive and is apathetic. He wanted to enter healthcare when he was younger but couldn't and he was diagnosed with depression. His parents recommended that he go to seminary, although he was hesitant. There is not much accountability or passion from him. He has served as a pastor in administration for 10 years at a previous megachurch and when he came to my church 4 years ago he started the lead position where he was expected to actually interact with people instead of solely focusing on the behind the scenes of a church. I have been serving under him for the past 3 years, but I feel as if I am not growing at all and if anything I am becoming more like him. 80% of the church left because of him when he started the adult ministry and I am trying very hard to love him, but it is difficult. Our ministry consists of 5 people. I really do not want to leave this church because God has not given me a sign.

What should I do? Does anyone have any experience or advice?

Click to expand...

I think I would sit down with him and get him talking about himself, if you are going to help him, you need to know where he is as far as he sees himself. Have some questions in mind to help him see himself. Very important, do not tell him how you see him, if you say it you are wrong, if he says it, he cannot argue with himself. Once you are able to get things on the table talk about how you can work together to build a better church, increase attendance, etc. Pray as you think about this and before you have that meeting.

His shortcomings as a pastor is between him and God. Try not to judge nor be bothered about it. You need to take enough care that other persons ungodly way of life will not hinder your relationship with God.

What happens in your life, working under a apathetic pastor included, and how you deal with it in a away you are clean before God, is in the scope of your accountability to God.

So, keep asking God to give you the wisdom to conduct life, in a way pleasing to God, in not so pleasant life experiences. Also keep praying that He opens your heart to new perspectives.

I have been through similar. Was a lay leader in the church and involved in several ministries. The pastor was a great friend as well as spiritual leader. Then there was a major issue in the church and the church split. As a result the pastor changed and became very defensive pushing me and others away. However at this point I still felt I was in the right church and God wanted me there. I was the only one who would challenge the pastor when everyone else was scared to and they later admitted that they agreed with me but were too scared to say at the time. At this time I felt strong in the Lord and confident in my serving Him and relationship with Him. I felt I was still growing as a Christian as well despite the obvious issues.

Then that pastor was removed from his position by the church as it came to light there was multiple sin and issues in his life. He had also been manipulating and threatening the whole leadership team. I was even told I was the only one who had not been too intimidated by him to just go along with whatever he wanted. A new pastor came in who sounds a bit like your one. He had been attending our church for a few months and knew that I was bold in the Lord when everyone else was scared and that I stood up for what I believed to be right. He even came to me a few times to say he was impressed with my input and how I handled things and that he thought I had a great future in the Lord. I was one of the people that was instrumental in building the church back up after he was appointed and a lot of people in the church including him gave me feedback to say I had a powerful ministry in the Lord in doing this. Even now years later a few of them, when I see them, say to me that I was leading the church prayer group in power. Some of these people lead local Christian ministries outside of this church in the town. These and other people at the time were saying God was using us and moving in the town. This was of course from God and He gets all the glory, I only mention it to show how God was using me/us.

There was however one person who was complaining to the pastor that the way I was leading the group wasnt to his taste so the pastor told me this person was replacing me. It went straight to the old fashioned prayer hymn sandwich and lost all power in ministry. the pastor then continued to strip away other responsibility in the church. I never officially left though.

Now, a few years after this I have lost all fire for the Lord. I gradually stopped attending services. this is linked to health issues I have as well, but that then became an excuse to not go and I eventually stopped going altogether. I am so lacking that I am even wondering whether to have a complete break from church. I only rarely pray or read my bible. I have gone from praying full of faith and being told there is power in my prayer this.

So having been through this, my advice to you is dont leave it too late to act. It was down to the pastor pouring water on my fire for the Lord.

bob2000 said:

Hi I'm here for some advice.

I have been attending my church for almost a decade. After I graduated high school, I transitioned into the adult ministry. I seemed to have built resentment towards the adult ministry pastor.

I feel as if he though he has many shortcomings. He has very poor social skills, is very passive and is apathetic. He wanted to enter healthcare when he was younger but couldn't and he was diagnosed with depression. His parents recommended that he go to seminary, although he was hesitant. There is not much accountability or passion from him. He has served as a pastor in administration for 10 years at a previous megachurch and when he came to my church 4 years ago he started the lead position where he was expected to actually interact with people instead of solely focusing on the behind the scenes of a church. I have been serving under him for the past 3 years, but I feel as if I am not growing at all and if anything I am becoming more like him. 80% of the church left because of him when he started the adult ministry and I am trying very hard to love him, but it is difficult. Our ministry consists of 5 people. I really do not want to leave this church because God has not given me a sign.

What should I do? Does anyone have any experience or advice?

Click to expand...

Hi Bob,

I understand this experience myself and it's great you're asking for advice from fellow Christians.

This concept of a head man running a Sunday service actually comes to us through the Roman culture and is not a reflection of the early church which went from home to home as well as having some larger corporate gatherings where possible. The first century church also had elders rather than pastors (as we think of them).

It's easy for us to look at a pastor and think the person is wrong, when in reality our model of doing church is wrong. Your pastor may have short comings, but we all do. The beauty of an eldership is that everyone can play to their strengths and cover over each others weaknesses.

What I am doing in my church bob is starting some home based (house to house) Bible study groups. The emphasis is in studying the Word together as peers (no pastor) through concordance based Bible study. Each family also brings a plate and we share a meal together and pray together.

I started this within our church because I felt the traditional model of doing church had no life in it and I knew that our members were struggling with it.

Bob I'd suggest rather than putting everything on the pastor, you stand up and get something like this going in your church. Even if you can get one group going it might be enough to set an example for others and the pastor and something good might come of it.

Pastors are people who struggle too Bob, I think we place too much pressure on them, when really, we should all be contributing as senior Christians.

Hope this make sense mate, happy to discuss some of the detail of how our home groups work if you are interested.

Brett

Like anybody else, pastors do have many struggles. Just remember him through prayer. I remember reading up on a certain pastor, who suffered from depression or something along those lines. Sadly he ended up taking his own life. He must have been under severe attack.. Maybe pastors, evangelists etc, should be at the top of the least, for receiving support & strong prayers from their followers, as they tend to get targeted by satan quite a lot.



The battle is real....

Most of the Pastors I have met and known in life have been some level of low-life. I'd place it as high as 90%. Some worse than others, but in my experience, clergy are not good people.

What you have to remember is that the pastor is just a person, and no different than anyone else in spite of what their ego makes them think.

Focus on the Works of Christ, not the self-proclaimed "preachers" and you will find much more success in bringing about the Love of Christ, the living presence of Christ in the world today.

I would ask your pastor, "If you could do anything for a career, what would you want to do?" If the answer is something outside of ministry, then the pastor's heart just isn't in it and he shouldn't be a pastor.