Though I believe that God can give me a new start and send the strong Christian man I desire that will guide my children and I and love us with Christ's love it is still a struggle for me to do it all on my own (just the on my own part, because God has blessed me with a nice home in a safe neighborhood, 2 great jobs in ministry, and everything I need and more but it can be lonely at times!) especially when I'm surrounded by other couples and it seems that only non-Christian men pursue me (which I now run from). Has anyone been in a similar situation as mine that has encouragement for me?
Yes, I have encouragement and I would like to share why.....There are some basic sort of "truths" I have learned over the decades. I have always been approached or flirted with or whatever when I'm with someone. Second is when I am working hard, saving, going to church, and have 0 time to take on a relationship, there they are, all over the place, smiling and laughing and texting and calling literally bothering me at the time. They love it, men and women, it's not about one sex.
Then there is dating when you are lonely or bored and want someone to snuggle with. You will never see the backs of more people of the opposite sex in this mode. Not sure why but when you are ready for it and want it, there must be a pheromone we produce that says "RUN AWAY." Except for the people that want to use or abuse others it says "GAME ON."
The encouraging part is now that you remember all these things, You know what to do. For me, it is basically try to take care of myself (which is a full-time job with my issues) mostly trying to improve on my bad habits. I go to Mass and promise to volunteer over and over but never do it and pray I don't run into a nice girl before I get my teeth fixed. So far it's working great!
I stopped needing sex after me and a woman moved in together. Sex seemed to stop soon after. When we went into the place I thought "yes, now I can have sex any time I wan." She was like "yes, I don't have to have sex anymore." Pretty much a win/win situation. She stopped being sexual and I started withholding affection and the resentment got deeper and deeper. We loved each other deeply but didn't know how to give or accept criticism.
I feel a bit ashamed because it wasn't until we were both with someone else that we were the most passionate with each other and the most psychotic thing was we both wanted each other's new relationship to work out sincerely. Anyway, probably TMI but I'm working something out here.
