In another post, you bemoan the condition of the church. Here, here. However, do not let the enemy get you focused on things that mean nothing.
God has made many mind blowing promises to us. Not for the sweet bye and bye but NOW. Are our affections set on abiding in Him and how to walk pleasing to Him, victorious over the enemy. Is our real battle how to escape the bonds of Romans 7?
Do not let your faith in His Word in any way decrease. It is our misunderstanding of it that has created our mess. We will need the confidence in God's Word in the days to come.
I hope you will forgive me if I have seemed to have spoken out of turn with you. You just remind me of someone I knew about 13 years ago. Yeah, me. LOL.
There is an answer to the mess we have made of Christianity. It is about to overtake us. Thank God.
blessings,
Gids
I'm sure you think I've been ignoring you! I had hoped to move your sincere and well-meaning post to the "other thread" because I believe it fit better there. But they closed the other thread just as I was attempting to do so - not that I blame them, because the other thread was turning into a swamp. So I will beg the indulgence of the other posters here, who may well wonder what this response has to do with the subject of this thread ...
As you say that you've been where I am (or at least where you think I am) now, so I have been where you are (or at least where I think you are) now. Actually, I don't think that where you are now and where I am now are all that far apart.
As I've described in other threads, I had a completely unanticipated "born again" experience as a college student 48 years ago. No one "led" me to Christ. This was completely out of the blue, alone, on a dull afternoon in a dorm room. At the age of 69, I don't doubt the reality of that experience. I've seen the hand of God in my life in too many astounding and really quite miraculous ways - ways that the average Christian would envy - for me to doubt the reality of it. There is no way that anyone, ever, fellow Christian or otherwise, is ever going to tell me that I'm on a path not blessed by God. I have no patience with that sort of nonsense.
After my experience, for better or worse, I became part of Campus Crusade, which as you may know is an extremely conservative (to put it mildly), dogmatic ministry. Despite my involvement, I realized almost immediately "I am NEVER going to fit into this brand of simple-minded (mindless?) Christianity." I existed for a period of years in a state of cognitive dissonance, pretending to believe things I could never really believe. This was true not only of Campus Crusade but of a Baptist seminary and assorted churches as well.
So I decided at about the age of 25 to flush it all and start anew, with Christianity at least as my working template. I've been blessed with a good mind and I believe God expects me to use it. Over the decades, my studies ranged far, wide and deep, including esoteric areas that I won't bore you with here. My goal was the Truth, or at least as close as I could get to it in this lifetime.
In addition to actually constructing a belief system, I focused extensively on HOW to construct one. I gradually realized that I could never really believe anything other than what my own experiences, observations, studies, reflection and intuition told me was True. Any other belief system would require me to "pretend" and live in a state of cognitive dissonance.
Constructing a belief system in the manner that I did is heavy and time-consuming work. Fortunately my legal career gave me the time and money to do it.
Probably five times over the years, however, the task seemed endless and exhausting and I said "Oh, forget it. I'm just going to accept garden-variety Christianity lock, stock and barrel and stop worrying about it. I'm just going to 'have faith.'" But that never lasted. In the first place, it simply isn't who I am; I don't think it's who God expects me to be. In the second, I knew I'd never have any confidence that where I'd landed was the Truth. So I always resumed the quest in pretty short order.
Perhaps 15 years ago, I felt that I had a belief system in place in which I could genuinely believe, one that was consistent with my experiences, observations, studies of what I believed to be the best evidence and reasoning, reflection and intuition. When I lost my first wife to breast cancer at just about that time (2005), we were both gratified to discover that our belief system withstood this trial and sustained us through it. Because I know I'll continue my quest to the end of my life, my belief system will always remain flexible and open to new experiences and observations, better evidence and fresh insights.
A very large percentage of my experiences, observations, studies and reflection related directly to Christianity. For a long time, I was in search of a connect-the-dots theology that was intellectually satisfying, that "made sense." I eventually realized this was never going to happen. Even the very best systematic theologies don't really connect the dots very well. Moreover, there are large bodies of evidence that simply don't fit the standard Christian paradigm. For these, I have "niches of possibility" that I leave open for possible incorporation into my belief system.
So anyway, 15 years ago I had arrived at a belief system that I'd describe as "basically Christian" but not one that closely matched any of the creeds or denominational statements of belief. Rather than pretend to believe things that I didn't believe, I decided that I would never again attend a church that required me to do so. I have since pretty much gone my own way, with a brief period of attendance at a Southern Baptist church so Russian wife could see what an American church was like (which, alas, was precisely what she had been warned it would be like by her pastor back in Russia!).
Having devoted so many years to the construction of my belief system, and having arrived at a "basically Christian" one, I then rediscovered the value of simplicity. This is why I say that I don't think I'm really too far from where you are. The Christianity that I try to live by is extremely simple and almost entirely dogma-free, relying extensively on prayer, the guidance of the Holy Spirit, and actions rather than words. If some of my more technical theology proves to be incorrect, as I'm sure it will - hey, so be it, all I can do is believe what my experiences, observations, studies, reflection and intuition tell me is True. To the extent that I appear to be still doubting or questioning, as may have been suggested by this thread, that's really more in the vein of intellectual exercise or even entertainment; it doesn't really affect my very simple core Christianity or Christian walk.
People like me are, of course, the bane of "Christians" (as I describe them in the other thread) most of whom are actually very insecure in their beliefs and deeply threatened by those who think differently (or even who merely think for themselves). They crave someone to think for them, which is why they flock to "Christianity" and perhaps even why they keep insisting on the other thread that I tell them what I think Christianity should look like (good grief, are you kidding me?).
My nagging feeling that what I describe as "Christianity" on the other thread had little or nothing to what Jesus was talking about began at a pretty early stage of my Christianity. "Something is wrong with this picture" gradually evolved into "Something is REALLY wrong with this picture" (perhaps 20 years ago), then to "This has NOTHING to do with what Jesus was talking about" (perhaps 10 years ago), and finally to "This is SO FAR from what Jesus was talking about that I am simply going to withdraw from it completely."
So there you go. That gives you some idea of where I am coming from - which, despite superficial appearances, doesn't strike me as too different from where you are coming from. At least you will no longer thinking I'm ignoring you!
Thanks for your kind words, and blessings back at you! Apologies to the others for this slightly weird interruption in the flow of the thread.