A defense of marriage

I'm a Christian Aspie happily married to a non-theistic NT male. We've been married several years, but have known each other since 2004, and were engaged for awhile. Our relationship and marriage is a very beneficial one. This isn't to say it's been perfect, but the benefits FAR outweigh either of us being alone, and we take MUCH mental, physical, spiritual, and loving refuge in each other, and have corrected/learned from past errors. It saddens me to see so many eschewing marriage nowadays, an institution that has served humanity well for millennia, particularly when enacted for the right reasons.

For further background context, I'm a Christian, and in the New Testament Bible, the Apostle Paul writes that the woman is commanded to submit to the husband, while the man is commanded to love the wife in marriage. Other religions also tend to place males at a certain degree of leadership or headship, with all the best-balanced interpretations also giving women worth, dignity, and some agency.

I think part of the reason marriage is on the decline in Western societies is that we've eschewed these things, due to extreme feminism as well as extreme individualism, both of which value selfishness above sacrifice. My husband may not be theistic, but he's very loving. And I may enjoy certain privileges afforded to Western women, like college education, a job, and the right to vote, but I also highly value submission in marriage. (My husband actually wishes I would submit a little less and try to assert myself a little more instead of rely on his judgment so much, but he's otherwise quite content with my role.)

I think there are also certain tasks that are broadly better suited to each gender. I emphasize "broadly" because I realize there are always exceptions when certain conditions and variables come into play. Nonetheless, generally speaking, women are better at household chores like laundry, cleaning, and doing the dishes, while men do better out in the working world with systems and such. (I'm a lot more systematic than the typical woman, hence my autism diagnosis, but I still cannot bring myself to reach the heights of the greatest mathematical and scientific achievements of the human male. I could probably have done coding, and maybe some forms of scientific research, but not to the extent of the best males in the fields.)

So in summary, I would like to see less degradation of marriage from feminists and angry males. If these women and men would concede more submission and love, I think they'd see the benefits of what marriage was ultimately designed to be.

Archivist said:

Agreed. Unfortunately some, and it usually turns out to be men, think that they have to be in charge.

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In the opposite camp here.

I think the Pauline passages about male headship are to be read plainly and not eisegetically; abuse of male dominance can be held at bay when the corresponding passage about husbands needing to love their wives is taken into consideration, but it doesn't logically negate male headship/leadership (or being "in charge," as you put it). Headship can be noble and done properly.

But anyway, getting back to being in the opposite camp, my husband -- whom I met when I wasn't in the faith -- is an egalitarian non-theist. He wishes I would be more assertive. I always tell him, I'll submit to your desire for me to be less submissive...

bekkilyn said:

I'm sure there were some noble slavemasters back in the first century too, but it doesn't make ownership of slaves any more viable or doctrinally correct for Christians than male ownership of women.

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You and your endless twisting and rants of male headship into things like ownership and slavery. Go argue somewhere else; after awhile, I always put people like you on ignore on Internet forums. I've dealt with such of your ilk and your kind of schtick before. It doesn't work on me. You just eventually get moved to Ignore.