Bad Attitude

starryshadows · Apr 4, 2019

Sometimes I struggle with having a bad attitude, particularly around one of my brothers. I feel really irritable, and generally just kind of grumpy and mentally/ emotionally strained sometimes and get a bad attitude. Like my brother might be speaking, and instead of listening, I feel irritable, impatient, and I think critical things of the things he says. I don't know if my attitude is partly due to lack of sleep, but it really doesn't excuse it.
I get annoyed at stupid, minor things. My attitude is just so wrong, and I'm ashamed when I'm like this. But I seem to have this attitude frequently. Some days I'm 100% fine, I don't feel annoyed, and I don't act like this. Other days it's like I'm this horrible person, who can't even treat my brother right...
What do I do to conquer my bad attitude? What is wrong with me...I am ashamed at myself for treating my brother this way.

ilovejcsog · Apr 4, 2019

Sounds like me posting. I am sorry, I hope you find a healing, I haven't. I can only suggest you keep praying and praying and hope that God acts soon in your behalf. He is slow to act but eventually. I often have to tell myself how much God loves me and maybe it will sink in. I think a lot of it for me is my dislike for myself.

starryshadows · Apr 5, 2019

ilovejcsog said:
Sounds like me posting. I am sorry, I hope you find a healing, I haven't. I can only suggest you keep praying and praying and hope that God acts soon in your behalf. He is slow to act but eventually. I often have to tell myself how much God loves me and maybe it will sink in. I think a lot of it for me is my dislike for myself.

I'm sorry to hear that.

I think we tend to see the worst in ourselves. For me, I think of how much I fail, all the ways I am a terrible person, and the list of my faults is endless...there is so much about myself I find despicable, but I hate my inability to change those things too. I don't think that's how God views us, though. Somehow he looks past it all and loves us anyway. But it's one of those things I know in my head but my heart doesn't always get.

I hope you find healing too. I find it easier to see the goodness in others...from your posts to me you seem like a compassionate and kind person, who loves God.

We all have faults, but what's amazing is that God knows us better than ourselves or anyone else, and loves us even so. I'll pray for you too.

starryshadows · Apr 5, 2019

ilovejcsog said:
Sounds like me posting. I am sorry, I hope you find a healing, I haven't. I can only suggest you keep praying and praying and hope that God acts soon in your behalf. He is slow to act but eventually. I often have to tell myself how much God loves me and maybe it will sink in. I think a lot of it for me is my dislike for myself.

Also thank you for the advice, I will pray about it.

ilovejcsog · Apr 5, 2019

The positive things you have said to me you need to say to yourself. You are right so believe it, okay?
I will pray for you also and believe that God will deliver you from yourself

You are so welcome. I wish I could help more. I know how much it hurts to feel this way!

ilovejcsog · Apr 5, 2019

You might want to read this guys post, it reminded me of me. and maybe you?
advice please! world is drawing me, reluctant to seek God, seared conscience. heart needs Jesus!

Joined2krist · Apr 5, 2019

Iron sharpens iron. It seems your brother has been patient and kind to you all the while you've been mean to him. Learn from him, be patient, loving and tolerant towards him. You need to study him and learn his ways. God bless

Andrew77 · Apr 5, 2019

starryshadows said:
Sometimes I struggle with having a bad attitude, particularly around one of my brothers. I feel really irritable, and generally just kind of grumpy and mentally/ emotionally strained sometimes and get a bad attitude. Like my brother might be speaking, and instead of listening, I feel irritable, impatient, and I think critical things of the things he says. I don't know if my attitude is partly due to lack of sleep, but it really doesn't excuse it.
I get annoyed at stupid, minor things. My attitude is just so wrong, and I'm ashamed when I'm like this. But I seem to have this attitude frequently. Some days I'm 100% fine, I don't feel annoyed, and I don't act like this. Other days it's like I'm this horrible person, who can't even treat my brother right...
What do I do to conquer my bad attitude? What is wrong with me...I am ashamed at myself for treating my brother this way.

Good. You should feel ashamed.

If you need sleep, then get more sleep.

But regardless of why you feel this way, I want you to take it from me, that you need to figure this out and get over it. My and my sister had a terrible relationship for most of my young life, and I now deeply regret it. What a total waste. I could have had a good relationship, and instead we were at each other's throats, and for what? For nothing. Absolutely nothing. Wasted years, for no reason whatsoever.

So listen up buttercup... figure it out and get over it, because the years you have right now, are very short, and never come back once they are gone. You don't want to be asking G-d later in life, why something that could have been good, was so bad and wasted. Figure it out. Get over this, use that shame to repent of this stupidity, and get on with your life.

A bit hard hitting I know, but you don't want to end up like me, wondering why I wasted those years.

Porpoise · Apr 5, 2019

Pray for your brother, and pray that you would love others more. When others say unkind words to you, don't respond to their words. When you feel irritable, pray, and remember your love for God. If you find yourself not feeling well emotionally, go and eat something or listen to music, and pray. Try to never think badly of others but forgive, respect, give them the benefit of the doubt. Pray everyday for this, that you would love others.

ilovejcsog · Apr 5, 2019

BTW, I was thinking that maybe there is unforgiveness against your brother for something in the past? Sometimes just knowing the reason behind something will allow us to get over it. You also seem like a very sweet person. It is not in your character normally I think to be mean. A lot of good advice posted here for you. God bless you. Try to be happy that helps. I liked the prior post where they said "go eat something, lol"

starryshadows · Apr 5, 2019

Andrew77 said:
Good. You should feel ashamed.

If you need sleep, then get more sleep.

But regardless of why you feel this way, I want you to take it from me, that you need to figure this out and get over it. My and my sister had a terrible relationship for most of my young life, and I now deeply regret it. What a total waste. I could have had a good relationship, and instead we were at each other's throats, and for what? For nothing. Absolutely nothing. Wasted years, for no reason whatsoever.

So listen up buttercup... figure it out and get over it, because the years you have right now, are very short, and never come back once they are gone. You don't want to be asking G-d later in life, why something that could have been good, was so bad and wasted. Figure it out. Get over this, use that shame to repent of this stupidity, and get on with your life.

A bit hard hitting I know, but you don't want to end up like me, wondering why I wasted those years.

I'm sorry about your sister...maybe I'm an optimist, but I feel like God can even use our wasted years and mistakes for our good.But whatever the case, I hope you forgive yourself for all that and I hope things are well with you and your sister now.

And thank you for your advice. I agree... I don't want to hurt him because of my inability to be loving towards him. I'll definitely work to fix my behavior; I know it's wrong, and is stupid.

starryshadows · Apr 5, 2019

Porpoise said:
Pray for your brother, and pray that you would love others more. When others say unkind words to you, don't respond to their words. When you feel irritable, pray, and remember your love for God. If you find yourself not feeling well emotionally, go and eat something or listen to music, and pray. Try to never think badly of others but forgive, respect, give them the benefit of the doubt. Pray everyday for this, that you would love others.

Thanks, that's great advice. I pray everyday that God would give me a loving heart. I struggle with that more than I would like to, I'm ashamed to say. I'll keep praying for that and take your advice. Thank you!

Jon Osterman · Apr 5, 2019

Sometimes we just don't get on with our relations. Personalities can clash, and just because they are family doesn't mean you have to be friends with them. I don't get on with my brother. I just don't like him, at all. I am still polite when we are forced together by family events, but I don't spend time with him otherwise. If I did, I am sure I would snap at some point. So my advice is, just keep your distance.

starryshadows · Apr 5, 2019

ilovejcsog said:
BTW, I was thinking that maybe there is unforgiveness against your brother for something in the past? Sometimes just knowing the reason behind something will allow us to get over it. You also seem like a very sweet person. It is not in your character normally I think to be mean. A lot of good advice posted here for you. God bless you. Try to be happy that helps. I liked the prior post where they said "go eat something, lol"

That could be...but I can't think of what it would be that I have unforgiveness about. Not that that isn't the case...I'll pray about it that if there's something there God would show me. No I'm not usually that way...and it's almost solely around this brother. I don't act this way with anyone else that I can think of. I certainly try not to be mean, but I also know I can be blind to my own faults sometimes. I'll try to pray about it and ask for forgiveness for my unloving behavior. Thank you, and God bless you too.

starryshadows · Apr 5, 2019

Jon Osterman said:
Sometimes we just don't get on with our relations. Personalities can clash, and just because they are family doesn't mean you have to be friends with them. I don't get on with my brother. I just don't like him, at all. I am still polite when we are forced together by family events, but I don't spend time with him otherwise. If I did, I am sure I would snap at some point. So my advice is, just keep your distance.

Thanks for your advice. That's definitely true about personalities clashing, and I do agree that you don't have to be friends with everybody either. At the same time...I feel bad about the idea of avoiding him.

Even though I act stupid and critical like this sometimes, there's so much I appreciate about him. I guess I want to get along and be a good sister to him and change my attitude to be more supportive and caring.

Jon Osterman · Apr 5, 2019

Then you should hold that thought in yout heart when you see him. Every time you meet just remember that you "want to get along and be a good sister to him and change [your] attitude to be more supportive and caring". That may be difficult but it is your cross to bear.

My brother, on the other hand, has no redeeming features and I wouldn't care if I never saw him again. I have no desire to be his brother.

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