This is great advice which actually aligns with the The Word of God. Why are so many parents surrendering to their children's will?? Do we please men or please God? As someone who works with kids 12-17 and knows many, many of the "secret" things they do, I will tell you -- KIDS WANT TO BE DISCIPLINED. So many times it is apathetic or scared parents who lead kids to see themselves as "CEO of their own destiny." If a parent cannot be a spiritual leader, following God's Word and the example of Christ, how can you ever expect your child to? This does not mean your child is going to automatically listen, but believe me, kids don't want "buddies" as their parents, they want authority figures.
And to give a picture of the kids I am working with, I have 8th graders who are in real gangs that deal drugs pummel other kids, etc. I am not working with a bunch of squeaky clean, home-schooled preachers kids. I am friends with them and have earned their trust, but I make no mistake about where I get my morality from: it's from GOD. I am not going to co-sign or turn a blind eye to any of the bad things they tell me they do. I chastise them for it, show them how they are doing wrong in God's eyes, losing their fellowship with The Lord and exposing themselves to even greater punishment (since we know God will chasten His children). And tell them they need to stop because they are working for the Devil and giving him glory with every sin. And I stay on top of them about it. Yet, they keep confiding in me and coming to class each week (many of them coming on their own as their parents don't even come to church). Structure and discpiline provides emotional security for kids. And God's Word will work on their hearts.
Deuteronomy 6: 6And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: 7And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
We are not exempt from this command. I understand that the child in this instance is clearly not walking with God and seems to be in complete rebellion. But this can all be changed. For one, have the girl's parents been contacted?? Do they know she was pregnant? Do they care? Bringing them in can help to control the behavior of the kids as they can now keep an eye on their own daughter. I would contact them immediately. And even consider having all of you meet together and discuss this openly (including the kids). Sins should be EXPOSED not hidden. Kids should feel ashamed for their wrong doing. HOw else can they be moved to repentance??
I would then pray to God for faith and get in The Word with your son. What is his spiritual life like? Is he saved? Are you? I would work on building a foundation during this time that he is grounded.
And if possible, I would just take him down a notch electronically. This sounds like a young man who probably has his own phone, computer in room, etc. Take them. They are the main tools to bring in satanic influence into the home for kids.
Surrendering authority to a child and assisting them in fornication is not the answer. Loving your child with Godly love is. That means letting them know the spiritual ramifications of their decisions and that God is running your home and sets all the rules. Will your kid be angry and resist initially? Of course because he is obviously used to getting whatever he wants. But I'd rather my kid get an STD than burn in hellfire. This is what it's all about. Salvation in Christ Jesus. And please don't buy into the illusion that giving your kids condoms ensures they are going to use them. They're children! They are not responsible. 1 out of every 4 teen girls is having an abortion. Do we really want to turn a blind eye to a situation that can lead to a baby being killed?
If you have any other questions about my advice, please feel free to ask. I have already prayed for you and I sincerely hope that God can restore order in this situation. God bless.