Disillusionment

Lilly54 said:

I am in a quandary. I realise the church i attend consists of old people set in their ways. Lovely people but they are stunting my growth. I realise i must leave. Find a bigger more vibrant church, meet truly passionate christians, i want to be stimulated.
I feel guilty. For now my plan is just withdraw from going to church at all. Use the time to think, pray, read and rest on Sundays. There is more to it. I have tried to instill life in this church but feel unappreciated even put down. I have never liked the person in charge.
But the elderly congregation are nice, kind people. They helped me after my bereavement. I feel i owe them my duty snd allegiance. I am involved in the running of the church. But now i feel hemmed in, suffocated. I cannot breathe.

I need change but am scared and uncertain. I want to serve God and i must go elsewhere to do it. Meanwhile i read my Bible daily, plus lots of books and prayer is my favourite and constant activity.

There used to be a housegroup which i loved and depended upon weekly. But they have almost stopped meeting due to other commitments and events. Nobody knows how disappointed and frustrated that has made me feel. That is what has triggered my anger and disillusionment. Then i added up all the other ways i am not being fed as a Christian. I take it to prayer and feel God is directing me to make the break and start afresh.

Is it essential to go to church anyway? Am i better off developing on my own? I've git nobody but my partner to confide in. I cannot say a word to anyone else as i think they would regard this as mutiny. Its a close community. So i think it's best to just cite 'family commitments' as an excuse and just stay away from church. I never dreamed i would feel this way.

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The best place you can be is where the Lord plants you. He knows what you need and He knows what you can give. Always come to Him with your concern about changing churches. Please remember that when you start “drying up” within a Church, it doesn’t necessarily mean there’s a problem with the Church, maybe your season is over, or maybe you are there for changes to occur.

The Lord works with me in seasons; sometimes a few seasons at a time. I’ve been through seasons of isolation and seasons of fellowship, but He was always there guiding me though and He placed people to help me. Christianity was never meant to be done alone.

Also, just because a Church is bigger and vibrant doesn’t mean it was even planted by God. There are many man planted temples. Again, ask God for direction, I grew more in a small church than a big church.

Lilly54 said:

I am in a quandary. I realise the church i attend consists of old people set in their ways. Lovely people but they are stunting my growth. I realise i must leave. Find a bigger more vibrant church, meet truly passionate christians, i want to be stimulated.

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You need to talk to the minister about your concerns and to find out about the vission your church has for the future.
Are they really so set in there ways that they would rather there church closed before they changed anything?

Are there other churches in your area? use google to see what they believe, to try the surmons/srvices posted on line.

If you are not attending your church, go to others and test them.
The web site 'theshipoffools' has a mystry worshipper form/forum where one can grade the welcome, service, sermon, were you spoken to, what the after church coffe was like etc etc.

Untill you look you don't know what is there.

Lilly54 said:

I am in a quandary. I realise the church i attend consists of old people set in their ways. Lovely people but they are stunting my growth. I realise i must leave. Find a bigger more vibrant church, meet truly passionate christians, i want to be stimulated.
I feel guilty. For now my plan is just withdraw from going to church at all. Use the time to think, pray, read and rest on Sundays. There is more to it. I have tried to instill life in this church but feel unappreciated even put down. I have never liked the person in charge.
But the elderly congregation are nice, kind people. They helped me after my bereavement. I feel i owe them my duty snd allegiance. I am involved in the running of the church. But now i feel hemmed in, suffocated. I cannot breathe.

I need change but am scared and uncertain. I want to serve God and i must go elsewhere to do it. Meanwhile i read my Bible daily, plus lots of books and prayer is my favourite and constant activity.

There used to be a housegroup which i loved and depended upon weekly. But they have almost stopped meeting due to other commitments and events. Nobody knows how disappointed and frustrated that has made me feel. That is what has triggered my anger and disillusionment. Then i added up all the other ways i am not being fed as a Christian. I take it to prayer and feel God is directing me to make the break and start afresh.

Is it essential to go to church anyway? Am i better off developing on my own? I've git nobody but my partner to confide in. I cannot say a word to anyone else as i think they would regard this as mutiny. Its a close community. So i think it's best to just cite 'family commitments' as an excuse and just stay away from church. I never dreamed i would feel this way.

Click to expand...

If you're not socializing with member's of your Church outside the building itself. If you're not joining in with developing relationship's outside the Church setting, then it's never been a Church. Church is more than a meeting place, it's a relationship within a social community, anything less is fake.

Lilly54 said:

I am in a quandary. I realise the church i attend consists of old people set in their ways. Lovely people but they are stunting my growth. I realise i must leave. Find a bigger more vibrant church, meet truly passionate christians, i want to be stimulated.
I feel guilty. For now my plan is just withdraw from going to church at all. Use the time to think, pray, read and rest on Sundays. There is more to it. I have tried to instill life in this church but feel unappreciated even put down. I have never liked the person in charge.
But the elderly congregation are nice, kind people. They helped me after my bereavement. I feel i owe them my duty snd allegiance. I am involved in the running of the church. But now i feel hemmed in, suffocated. I cannot breathe.

I need change but am scared and uncertain. I want to serve God and i must go elsewhere to do it. Meanwhile i read my Bible daily, plus lots of books and prayer is my favourite and constant activity.

There used to be a housegroup which i loved and depended upon weekly. But they have almost stopped meeting due to other commitments and events. Nobody knows how disappointed and frustrated that has made me feel. That is what has triggered my anger and disillusionment. Then i added up all the other ways i am not being fed as a Christian. I take it to prayer and feel God is directing me to make the break and start afresh.

Is it essential to go to church anyway? Am i better off developing on my own? I've git nobody but my partner to confide in. I cannot say a word to anyone else as i think they would regard this as mutiny. Its a close community. So i think it's best to just cite 'family commitments' as an excuse and just stay away from church. I never dreamed i would feel this way.

Click to expand...

I experienced this at one point with my church. I was engaged to a girl. At first I went to her church as another way to spend time with her. After I was born again I began to go sincerely for my relationship with God and spiritual growth. After a while of hearing my preacher tell the congregation on Sundays that "we need to be out there sharing our testimonies/stories" I began to feel convictions. I remembered the scripture that says a prophet is not honored in his home town. I tried to confront my pastor about it, told him that I felt like I wasn't being fed, and he took offense to this, and literally made out like I called his church inadequate. Maybe for me yes, but I went to him for help and advice and it was a blowout. My church was pretty much how you described yours.

I met a guy that quickly grew into a close friendship. I decided to try out his church. I was doing interlinear studies with him 3-5 days a week. Some days we were together for hours and I even had a sleepover a time or 2. Months went by. I hadn't talked to my fiance in months because I wanted to be all in for God and pretty much was at a point in life I could call myself truly religious.

Eventually I hit up my fiance and told her I missed her and wanted to see her. We met up and I realized I had an ultimatum. So I broke the relationship with the friend I had made and tried going to her church. I was so hurt that I eventually stopped going to church altogether. I felt worse than I was before. Eventually my fiance and I went on to be married. About the time I joined this forum a month ago, I decided to rekindle the fire I had before this whole ugly mess started. It's slow but it's growing. I hurt every time I think about it. The power of God was prevalent in my life when I went to that other church. I was bold and evangelical. I desired to serve the Kingdom of God. And I did it all with love.

To this day I am unsure if this is the aftermath of something the devil did or if this is really what God wanted for me. I experienced so much doubt for so long, and I finally told myself I didn't want to go down that road and that's when I joined this forum. I started going back to the old church, all the old folks are getting to old to make it any more, all the young people left after high school. And other supporters that formerly attended have moved away. Now we have like 30-70 people every Sunday. It's the same old crowd. No missions. Just Sundays, Wednesdays, VBS and other holiday events.

I am just unsure though. I do believe when we give up failure lay therein.

Lilly54 said:

I am in a quandary. I realise the church i attend consists of old people set in their ways. Lovely people but they are stunting my growth. I realise i must leave. Find a bigger more vibrant church, meet truly passionate christians, i want to be stimulated.
I feel guilty. For now my plan is just withdraw from going to church at all. Use the time to think, pray, read and rest on Sundays. There is more to it. I have tried to instill life in this church but feel unappreciated even put down. I have never liked the person in charge.
But the elderly congregation are nice, kind people. They helped me after my bereavement. I feel i owe them my duty snd allegiance. I am involved in the running of the church. But now i feel hemmed in, suffocated. I cannot breathe.

I need change but am scared and uncertain. I want to serve God and i must go elsewhere to do it. Meanwhile i read my Bible daily, plus lots of books and prayer is my favourite and constant activity.

There used to be a housegroup which i loved and depended upon weekly. But they have almost stopped meeting due to other commitments and events. Nobody knows how disappointed and frustrated that has made me feel. That is what has triggered my anger and disillusionment. Then i added up all the other ways i am not being fed as a Christian. I take it to prayer and feel God is directing me to make the break and start afresh.

Is it essential to go to church anyway? Am i better off developing on my own? I've git nobody but my partner to confide in. I cannot say a word to anyone else as i think they would regard this as mutiny. Its a close community. So i think it's best to just cite 'family commitments' as an excuse and just stay away from church. I never dreamed i would feel this way.

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Nothing wrong with exploring various churches in your area to seek fellowship. Seek and ye shall find.

bcbsr said:

Nothing wrong with exploring various churches in your area to seek fellowship. Seek and ye shall find.

Click to expand...

I feel the same way but then you may have heard pastors talking about churches "swapping sheep" which I kind of agree with that preaching too. I only reply here because I value seeing your opinion as I've seen other comments of yours..

Valetic said:

I feel the same way but then you may have heard pastors talking about churches "swapping sheep" which I kind of agree with that preaching too. I only reply here because I value seeing your opinion as I've seen other comments of yours..

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Pastor speak of "sheep stealing" because their income is dependent upon people staying at their church. Fact is the Church is a family composed of all believers, and not restricting to one local church. So go and visit your family.

Lilly54 said:

I am in a quandary. I realise the church i attend consists of old people set in their ways. Lovely people but they are stunting my growth. I realise i must leave. Find a bigger more vibrant church, meet truly passionate christians, i want to be stimulated.
I feel guilty. For now my plan is just withdraw from going to church at all. Use the time to think, pray, read and rest on Sundays. There is more to it. I have tried to instill life in this church but feel unappreciated even put down. I have never liked the person in charge.
But the elderly congregation are nice, kind people. They helped me after my bereavement. I feel i owe them my duty snd allegiance. I am involved in the running of the church. But now i feel hemmed in, suffocated. I cannot breathe.

I need change but am scared and uncertain. I want to serve God and i must go elsewhere to do it. Meanwhile i read my Bible daily, plus lots of books and prayer is my favourite and constant activity.

There used to be a housegroup which i loved and depended upon weekly. But they have almost stopped meeting due to other commitments and events. Nobody knows how disappointed and frustrated that has made me feel. That is what has triggered my anger and disillusionment. Then i added up all the other ways i am not being fed as a Christian. I take it to prayer and feel God is directing me to make the break and start afresh.

Is it essential to go to church anyway? Am i better off developing on my own? I've git nobody but my partner to confide in. I cannot say a word to anyone else as i think they would regard this as mutiny. Its a close community. So i think it's best to just cite 'family commitments' as an excuse and just stay away from church. I never dreamed i would feel this way.

Click to expand...

I researched churches online. Some of them posted photos of events or videos of services. I found some that seemed almost all young people in casual or business casual attire. There are also churches where the average age seems to be over 65 and the dress code is semi-formal attire. I know if I wore jeans and a t-shirt in a semi-formal church, I would not fit in and might have an anxiety attack. While doing research I found one church too far away to attend, but I liked the sermons. I kept going back to this church online to listen to his video recorded sermons.

Lilly54 said:

But i am. I have good friends thete. My life is entwined with our church. But it is not growing. All set in its ways. Closed minds. I am 30 years younger than most there. I am wondering if i am wasting my time. Other churches could have so much going on. We have 30 regular worshippers. Thats all!

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Why Church? Can't you make and find disciples like Jesus, make them your friend's and worship in any given location.

I am also in between churches as God is preparing me for a new assignment. I second @Job3315, he got those words out of my mouth quite literally.

Job3315 said:

The best place you can be is where the Lord plants you. He knows what you need and He knows what you can give. Always come to Him with your concern about changing churches. Please remember that when you start “drying up” within a Church, it doesn’t necessarily mean there’s a problem with the Church, maybe your season is over, or maybe you are there for changes to occur.

The Lord works with me in seasons; sometimes a few seasons at a time. I’ve been through seasons of isolation and seasons of fellowship, but He was always there guiding me though and He placed people to help me. Christianity was never meant to be done alone.

Also, just because a Church is bigger and vibrant doesn’t mean it was even planted by God. There are many man planted temples. Again, ask God for direction, I grew more in a small church than a big church.

Click to expand...