My testimony (Saved from crack cocaine in the early 90's)

Undead said:

A couple of notes..

As a crack-head, you go through hundreds of dope deals-- maybe thousands.
And you try to have a plan. Because back then in Florida, when you pulled up to crack-town (there were 4 or 5 places in the Orlando/Altamonte area known for scoring crack-- the Square (Winter Park), Zellwood, Eatonville, North Street (in Altamonte), The Rainbow Store (also Altamonte) Mercy Drive,(Orlando) and a possibly a few others.) it was not uncommon for 3 or 4 dealers to shove their arms in your car and try to get you to buy their dope instead of the other dudes.. they would say stuff like "Look, mines bigger" or "His is fake". They would try to rush you into a quick decision by saying "Twelve ridin" or "Five-Oh ridin" meaning heavy police presence tonight.

But on this night--it was kind of dumb (in retrospect) for the driver to have his window down. Nothing went like we had planned.. first of all, we were cracked out-- so we weren't thinking straight. But in my defense--the deal was supposed to happen on MY SIDE. We were going to have me taste the dope while the driver held onto the money, and once it was confirmed, he would hand me the money and I would give it to the dealer. But even though there was nothing on that side of the street except an empty field (drivers side) that is where the dealer came from (I never saw the guy that came up to my side after the dude leaned into the drivers side) I found out later, from the driver, that the guy that snuck up, put a barber's blade up to my throat--which prompted the driver to immediately give up the money without tasting the dope. Since I had no idea about the blade (although I did see a flash of light--which I now realize was a cars headlights behind us flashing from my side-view mirror and onto the barber's blade) I yelled at the driver. I was like "Don't even ruin my stem--cuz I know that is soap" Eatonville was known for selling small chips of soap and passing it off to newbies as dope-- North Street was bad about soaking almond slivers in ambesol since if you tasted it, it would still numb your tongue--but only an idiot could not tell the difference between an almond in ambesol and good crack--but I digress.

If the driver would have even hesitated, and not gave up the money, my throat would have for sure been slit and then that dude would have simply hopped the fence by the package store and police would be looking for a black male about 6' tall wearing jeans and a tee-shirt which describes 99% of Eatonville males. My murder would have never been solved.

God woke me up--and shocked me back to life. It scared me for a couple weeks, but it wasn't enough to stop me-- because my kidnapping happened after this event. Crack has a strong pull. I don't know of many who can quit on their own-- you can go a couple weeks maybe, but eventually you'll be back. People either end up incarcerated, murdered, or overdosed.

But soon, God sent someone my way to tell me I was not too dirty to meet Jesus. That sounded good to me.. I thought I was excluded from the club-- I thought crack was my lot in life--and I spent a lot of nights smoking crack in church parking lots (blaming God for my destiny, while also seeking His protection--if He was out there somewhere) I read a lot of stupid church marqees and their stupid little jokes--while my life was falling apart. Everyone looks suspicious parked anywhere (during the Florida crack epidemic of the 80's) except I always found safety in church parking lots. Maybe that was my tiny sliver of faith--and maybe God honored that, and that's why He sent my brother in law to come visit me from out of state to tell me about Jesus.

Anyway, I'm glad he did. And I'm glad I accepted His free gift---because I was a filthy person who was deserving of death. I should have died that night, plus many many others.
And a lot of you know my testimony.. I said to my bro in law "How can I tell Jesus I'm sorry, when I know tomorrow I'll have to go break in a house, steal a gun and take it down to crack town?" and he said you're trying to clean yourself up before you come to God-- but you can come to Him just like you are, tonight! And if tomorrow, you still want to smoke crack, and you don't feel convicted about it, go for it!" That sounded like an offer I couldn't refuse-- I believed Him, that God would accept me if I gave my life to Jesus. So I said a prayer that night. I said "Jesus, if you are real, and you can take this crack addiction away from me, then I will be a Bible toting geek for You for the rest of my life!" and then I went to sleep.
The next morning I had zero cravings for anything, not crack, not cigarettes, not heroine, not inappropriate contentography--(I was around 20 at this time, but had started shooting up cocaine at age 14--moved onto crack at 16) and even my speech changed from F-words every other word to not cussing at all, and I didn't even notice until my sister pointed it out to me later that next day-- she said did you notice how much you said the F word before yesterday? And I was like "No" she said "You said it in almost every sentence, and have you noticed you have not cussed even one time today?" and I was like "No, I didn't notice!" But she was right! He completely invaded my life and changed it forever.

-Amen

PS: If you are struggling with anything that you cannot seem to quit no matter how hard you try--give Jesus your life and see if He doesn't take it away. God never takes anything away from us by force. Some might think "Would that mean I would have to quit my motorcycle club?" No.. God won't take anything you don't want to give. But if you are convicted about it, and you want to give it to Him, then He can help you get out of it--even if someone has told you there is only one way to leave this club, and that's the grave--God can help you out of it. God can make it so that you start talking about Jesus so much they ask you to leave..lol
But seriously, If you have anything that is controlling your life,and you want it gone--give it to God. The Bible says "Cast your cares upon Him, because He cares for us."
God bless you for reading all this in Jesus' Name!

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Undead said:

I met my wife a little bit after becoming born-again.
She was held up at gun point just 2 miles away from where the events in my song went down (before we knew each other) and we often wonder if it was on the same night--and I often wonder if it would be our future anniversary date (July 31st) she worked at a pizza joint and was sent to the bank after they closed around midnight to do a bank drop--and some guy walked up to the same side of the vehicle and put a big pistol in her face and he demanded the money--the driver gave up the money instantly--just like in my situation--or she might have been killed. It's really fascinating and uncanny how closely linked our stories are--and when I used to be on facebook, I posted a picture of the distance between where she was robbed and I was robbed, and it's unreal how close they are. AND ON THE SAME STREET (and at the same part of the evening--so I often wonder WAS THIS ON THE SAME EXACT NIGHT? On the same exact street? And on our future anniversary? God works in mysterious ways.

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Undead said:

I was delivered from crack addiction over night, when I had tried to stop for years--everything from therapy, to Narcotics Anonymous, to jail, nothing could stop me... but one night I heard a message I couldn't resist.. I said "But how can I repent, and tell God I'm sorry, when I know tomorrow I will have to go get a gun someway, somehow and go trade it for crack?" and my Bro-in-Law said "Don't clean yourself up before you come to God--come just as you are.. tonight give him your heart--and if tomorrow you want to go smoke crack, and you don't feel convicted of your sin, then keep doing it--there is no pressure on you to stop anything." I was like "WHAT?" that sounded too good to be true.. but I went in my room that night and I pictured myself throwing my man-made crown down at the feet of Jesus and saying "If you are real, and you take this crack from me, I will be a Bible-toting geek for you the rest of my life" (because I thought Christians were nerds who had no fun).
The next morning, I had zero cravings for crack, for cigarettes, for inappropriate contentography, --my sister told me that my language had even changed over night--I did not realize it but I was using the F word as a descriptive for every other word, even when I wasn't upset, I cussed worse than Ozzy Osbourne--but then it all changed OVERNIGHT.
I had became a Christian, and my whole life was changed. Suddenly my old friends were like "What's the matter? You can't party with us anymore?" and for me it was like such a relief.. like *whew*, I don't have to go give my entire paycheck to cracktown on Friday night and be bumming cigarettes off of people on Saturday (like uh.. didn't you just get paid yesterday?)
I was on crack for over 5 years.. I started shooting up cocaine when I was 14 years old, heroine at 15, found crack at 16 and then it wasn't until age 21 that I gave my life to the Lord.
I had been kidnapped twice by crack dealers--had a blade to my throat one time (barber's straight razor). I sold my girlfriend's truck for $20 worth of crack and then reported it stolen.. everyone knew I was a liar-- my grandmother would come over to visit my mother, and she would hold on to her pocketbook the whole time she was over there--everyone knew I was a thief and a liar.
I would sit in church parkinglots and smoke crack in the wee hours of the morning, because I felt safe there.. I would talk to God and ask Him how I could ever get out of this mess-- I knew I couldn't be a hypocrite--I couldn't be Christian-crack-head.. so I thought this was my fate in life.. I had people I had ripped off looking to kill me. When I ran away one time (around 17 years old) people were calling my mother and telling her that they had me captive! (I found this out years later) she was tormented... I broke the back patio glass and made it look like someone broke into our house so I could go take our VCR down to crack town and sold it for $20 worth of crack that I smoked in 5 minutes.. meanwhile my mom was still making payments on it for 2 more years.
I was a mess... I was beyond salvation (so I thought).

But God met me where I was at, and He totally and radically changed my life.
So what can I say about all that stuff that happened in 1991?

I'm telling you, I used to try to be real good, and I could maybe go 2 or 3 weeks in my own power-- but then all it would take is a crack-dream and I would wake up shaking with the sheets soaking wet from sweat--and I knew that would be the start of a 3 day bender. What would I steal? Who's house would I break into? What friend would lend me $10?
Like I say, I was beyond all help.. no one loved me, no one trusted me, no one would let me near them. But my brother in law was not afraid to come speak to me--there I was in my Motorhead shirt, smoking on the back porch, cussing like a drunken sailor--but yet he saw through all that, and gave me an offer I couldn't refuse.
And God cleansed me.
It's only because I believed first, and then I saw.
I did not ask to see first, then I'll believe.
Now I will admit, I did say "If you take this away from me, I will be a Bible toting geek for the rest of my life", but never-the-less, at that point, I pictured throwing my crown at Jesus' feet and giving my heart to him completely.... and He took it! It's His!

Now maybe you're thinking "Yeah, but I'm not a crack head", or "that was your will power" but I'm telling you... I tried so many times, and nothing worked. Only Jesus!
Only Jesus could do what He did for me.

I have been changed ever since.

God bless all you atheists who are future Christians.


(Next up, my same testimony in allegoric form)

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