Uncertainty

Maybe you should just ignore them and let the judgers judge. God will deal with the judgers, the jealous and the hypocrites.

daughteroftheonetrueking said:

Hello, I just recently joined on here and I wasn't sure where to go. I grew up in a Christian home but did not go to church, when I met my boyfriend he started bringing me to church with him which is Pentecostal. I loved it there for awhile but I've been there for about a year and a half now and I feel as if I'm constantly being judged. I raise my hands I speak in tongues, etc but no matter what I feel like I'm constantly under scrutiny by the leaders. I love Pentecostal trust me I have never felt so alive before, but tonight at church I went to the altar and I felt his presence like never before and some of the leaders made other leaders listen to me as If I fake everything I do and then continued to talk about how some are not right with the Lord. I'm frustrated because I love Jesus but everyone either thinks I'm crazy, I fake it or just plain don't like me. Should I leave my church? I love Pentecostal, I don't fake a thing but it's getting to the point where I'm losing the touch of God because I'm scared to act on the holy spirit because I don't want to be judged anymore. I know the saying goes if you feel judged the need to be at the altar too but the problem is the people I feel are judging me are the ones doing so. I came home from church tonight and cried. I have no idea what to do. I'm not looking for an argument here on what's right and wrong and if you believe in the gifts. I just want advice on what to do

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Have you thought about making an appointment with the pastor and expressing your concerns and asking for his advice? That's what the pastor is there for.

daughteroftheonetrueking said:

Hello, I just recently joined on here and I wasn't sure where to go. I grew up in a Christian home but did not go to church, when I met my boyfriend he started bringing me to church with him which is Pentecostal. I loved it there for awhile but I've been there for about a year and a half now and I feel as if I'm constantly being judged. I raise my hands I speak in tongues, etc but no matter what I feel like I'm constantly under scrutiny by the leaders. I love Pentecostal trust me I have never felt so alive before, but tonight at church I went to the altar and I felt his presence like never before and some of the leaders made other leaders listen to me as If I fake everything I do and then continued to talk about how some are not right with the Lord. I'm frustrated because I love Jesus but everyone either thinks I'm crazy, I fake it or just plain don't like me. Should I leave my church? I love Pentecostal, I don't fake a thing but it's getting to the point where I'm losing the touch of God because I'm scared to act on the holy spirit because I don't want to be judged anymore. I know the saying goes if you feel judged the need to be at the altar too but the problem is the people I feel are judging me are the ones doing so. I came home from church tonight and cried. I have no idea what to do. I'm not looking for an argument here on what's right and wrong and if you believe in the gifts. I just want advice on what to do

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Oh my dear, this breaks my heart.
Speak honestly to your partner. It is so sad when others spoil your experience of worship.
It's time to find another church. You have the right to do so. Not your fault. Pray to Jesus to help you in finding the right church. Otherwise stop going, you can pray alone, find a housegroup. Find other nicer Christian friends. I hope you find a way through this.

daughteroftheonetrueking said:

That's quite hard and part of my problem due to the fact that it was his wife tonight he started criticising me for something I haven't even done..

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I agree that is a difficult one. It would be difficult to go to the pastor and make a complaint about his wife. I would find another leader in the church and ask his or her advice and that person may be able to put a wise and gentle word in the Pastor's wife's ear.

It is sad that there are churches that seem to infected with a spirit of criticism and put-downs, and it is just not right. If you can't find a resolution, I suppose there is always another church down the road.

daughteroftheonetrueking said:

Hello, I just recently joined on here and I wasn't sure where to go. I grew up in a Christian home but did not go to church, when I met my boyfriend he started bringing me to church with him which is Pentecostal. I loved it there for awhile but I've been there for about a year and a half now and I feel as if I'm constantly being judged. I raise my hands I speak in tongues, etc but no matter what I feel like I'm constantly under scrutiny by the leaders. I love Pentecostal trust me I have never felt so alive before, but tonight at church I went to the altar and I felt his presence like never before and some of the leaders made other leaders listen to me as If I fake everything I do and then continued to talk about how some are not right with the Lord. I'm frustrated because I love Jesus but everyone either thinks I'm crazy, I fake it or just plain don't like me. Should I leave my church? I love Pentecostal, I don't fake a thing but it's getting to the point where I'm losing the touch of God because I'm scared to act on the holy spirit because I don't want to be judged anymore. I know the saying goes if you feel judged the need to be at the altar too but the problem is the people I feel are judging me are the ones doing so. I came home from church tonight and cried. I have no idea what to do. I'm not looking for an argument here on what's right and wrong and if you believe in the gifts. I just want advice on what to do

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Find a small group of believers who you trust and are comfortable with sis. Mega churches tend to become judgmental and religious. I've been through similar experiences. God bless .

daughteroftheonetrueking said:

Will do! I was looking into starting a bible study with two of my long term friends. It's nice knowing I'm not the only one who has been in a similar situation. Thank you!

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Anytime sis. God bless .

You will get mixed views on here. Many are very orthodox and dont believe in speaking in tongues etc which they think stopped in the early church. They will tell you that you are in a sect or something. I am a Pentecostal as well so am used to it on here. My church has seen a dozen or so healings in the last couple of months, done in the name of Jesus, but the orthodox often say that doesnt happen any more. My personal view is God uses denominations to put people in the place that is right for them.

Now I've got that out of the way, the feeling of being judged can often be something of the flesh. It seems that God is moving in your church so I would say if you are being blessed and meeting God there you should stay. I would recommend asking the pastor (not the youth leaders) if you can talk to him about it. There may be other people in the church who fake it and its not unusual that there may be some who do. reasons that we can feel we are being judged when it is not us can be pride (which has its root in the flesh) or the lies of the deceiver trying to influence us. I think the best thing to do is face it head on and sort the situation out. I have had to do that in the past.

daughteroftheonetrueking said:

Then the youth pastors wife came over and told me to let the spirit out (I was speaking in tongues) but I'm not a loud person. So she bends down to listen told our youth pastor to listen, and whispered something to him. I could still hear though and I heard her say she's faking it. Which I wasn't, I went home and cried.

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That would probably be the last time I went up on an altar call in that church. Trust is earned, and if it's not there, it's not there.

All else being equal, I do think this is worthy of going to the pastor about. You don't need to name names. But then, some abuse is better off simply walked away from, lest it get worse. Seek the Lord's wisdom, as described in James 3.

But this statement may be telling:

daughteroftheonetrueking said:

when I first started coming everyone was so polite and kind, but since so many people have left everyone has became bitter

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Many others have left? That begs the question, why? There may be a stronghold there than is chasing people away. If so, until it is dealt with by leadership it will continue to infect the Body.

I remember a long time ago I was on a trip. Wednesday came around and I decided to attend a local midweek service. I thought it was so great that I could go anywhere and find a home away from home among my brothers in Christ. I get to the small Pentecostal church, and the pastor starts calling people out from the pulpit for their failings. Welcome to a refreshing midweek service! Then there was an altar call, and the bounty hunters - that is, the ushers - began to pressure me to go up. There had to be something I needed from the Lord, after all. The implication was that I wasn't right with God. I left the place, saying to myself, something is drastically wrong with this picture. What happened to the simple milk of human kindness? What kind of witness is this?

daughteroftheonetrueking said:

It's time for me to get serious, I will not let the devil destroy me ever again

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This is an excellent, excellent attitude. Men can fail, churches can fail, but if you cling to the Lord you will protect yourself from an unspeakable amount of woe. Keep this as Priority One at all costs.

Anyway, you might talk to leadership about it. But even if not, there is nothing to prevent you from tasting other churches are out there. You are under no obligation to stay where you are not comfortable, unless the Lord definitely confirms He wants you to be patient with the situation. It would be a waste of time.

daughteroftheonetrueking said:

Hello, I just recently joined on here and I wasn't sure where to go. I grew up in a Christian home but did not go to church, when I met my boyfriend he started bringing me to church with him which is Pentecostal. I loved it there for awhile but I've been there for about a year and a half now and I feel as if I'm constantly being judged. I raise my hands I speak in tongues, etc but no matter what I feel like I'm constantly under scrutiny by the leaders. I love Pentecostal trust me I have never felt so alive before, but tonight at church I went to the altar and I felt his presence like never before and some of the leaders made other leaders listen to me as If I fake everything I do and then continued to talk about how some are not right with the Lord. I'm frustrated because I love Jesus but everyone either thinks I'm crazy, I fake it or just plain don't like me. Should I leave my church? I love Pentecostal, I don't fake a thing but it's getting to the point where I'm losing the touch of God because I'm scared to act on the holy spirit because I don't want to be judged anymore. I know the saying goes if you feel judged the need to be at the altar too but the problem is the people I feel are judging me are the ones doing so. I came home from church tonight and cried. I have no idea what to do. I'm not looking for an argument here on what's right and wrong and if you believe in the gifts. I just want advice on what to do

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Praise the Lord! I truly understand your inner feelings. I also understand how hurt you are when you feel that you have been constantly under observation and being judged. I am a believer and I am a member of a different congregation. I have been attending the Pentecostal Church continuously for several months. I appreciate how enthusiastically they worship the LORD GOD. After sometime I became the victim of their judgmental attitude. As I daily mediate on the Scripture I got the answer that even in the time of Jesus's earthly ministries the so called Pharisees tried to find fault with Jesus. They sometime quote the Torah (The first Five Books Written by Moses) to validate their argument. I can cite some examples like healing a paralyzed man Sabbath, healing a blind man on Sabbath, healing a woman bent for several years that is also on Sabbath, rescuing an adulterous woman, casting out demons so on and so forth. Their negative comment could have frustrated any ordinary person. Today we are confirmed that Jesus was right and his accusers were in grave scriptural error.
As human we are sensitive to criticism. It is because of criticism we hesitate to take the right and bold step when the situation demands our action. There are so many criticizer in every congregation. So changing congregation will not help.
My practical advise is that be a little bit tough. Live your own life. Ignore other's judgmental attire. Speak to God your personal friend. Relax, it is ultimately God who can Forgive/Accuse any body and not any human being. A day will come your accuser will come to their sense and their hypocrisy will be exposed. God bless you.

I believe in the seven churches as ages...

Ephesus - Messianic - Beginning with the Apostle to the Circumcision, Peter
Smyrna - Martyr - Beginning with the Apostle to the Un-Circumcision, Paul
Pergamos - Orthodoxy formed in this time... Pergos is a tower... Needed in the dark ages
Thyatira - Catholicism formed in this time - The spirit of Jezebel is to control and to dominate.
Sardis - Protestantism formed in this time- A sardius is a gem - elegant yet hard and rigid
Philadelphia - Wesleyism formed in this time - To be sanctioned is to acquire it with love.
Laodicea - Charismatic movement formed in this time - Beginning with DL Moody, the first to make money off of ministry

Pentecostalism is an offspring of Wesleyism. As long as we keep the John Wesley ways we are OK.

1. To become Holiness - Or legalistic - Is in danger of leaning too much Sadisean
2. To become Charismatic - Or wordly - Is in danger of leaning too much Laodicean

John Wesley describes the Philadelphian movement best in his "What is a Methodist" discourse...

1. We believe, indeed, that "all Scripture is given by the inspiration of God.” We believe the written word of God to be the only and sufficient rule both of Christian faith and practice.

2. We do not place our religion, or any part of it, in being attached to any peculiar mode of speaking, any quaint or uncommon set of expressions.

3. Our religion does not lie in doing what God has not enjoined, or abstaining from what he hath not forbidden. It does not lie in the form of our apparel, in the posture of our body, or the covering of our heads; nor yet in abstaining from marriage, or from meats and drinks, which are all good if received with thanksgiving.

4. Nor, lastly, is he distinguished by laying the whole stress of religion on any single part of it

5. "What then is the mark? Who is a Methodist, according to your own account?" I answer: A Methodist is one who has "the love of God shed abroad in his heart by the Holy Ghost given unto him;" one who "loves the Lord his God with all his heart, and with all his soul, and with all his mind, and with all his strength. God is the joy of his heart, and the desire of his soul; which is constantly crying out, "Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee! My God and my all! Thou art the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever!"

6. He is therefore happy in God, yea, always happy, as having in him "a well of water springing up into everlasting life," and overflowing his soul with peace and joy. "Perfect love" having now "cast out fear," he "rejoices evermore." He "rejoices in the Lord always," even "in God his Saviour;" and in the Father, "through our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom he hath now received the atonement." "Having" found "redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of his sins," he cannot but rejoice, whenever he looks back on the horrible pit out of which he is delivered; when he sees "all his transgressions blotted out as a cloud, and his iniquities as a thick cloud." He cannot but rejoice, whenever he looks on the state wherein he now is; "being justified freely, and having peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ." For "he that believeth, hath the witness" of this "in himself;" being now the son of God by faith. "Because he is a son, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into his heart, crying, Abba, Father!" And "the Spirit itself beareth witness with his spirit, that he is a child of God." He rejoiceth also, whenever he looks forward, "in hope of the glory that shall be revealed;" yea, this his joy is full, and all his bones cry out, "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who, according to his abundant mercy, hath begotten me again to a living hope -- of an inheritance incorruptible, undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for me!"

7. And he who hath this hope, thus "full of immortality, in everything giveth thanks;" as knowing that this (whatsoever it is) "is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning him." From him, therefore, he cheerfully receives all, saying, "Good is the will of the Lord;" and whether the Lord giveth or taketh away, equally "blessing the name of the Lord." For he hath "learned, in whatsoever state he is, therewith to be content." He knoweth "both how to be abased and how to abound

8. For indeed he "prays without ceasing." It is given him "always to pray, and not to faint.”

9. And while he thus always exercises his love to God, by praying without ceasing, rejoicing evermore, and in everything giving thanks, this commandment is written in his heart, "That he who loveth God, love his brother also." And he accordingly loves his neighbour as himself; he loves every man as his own soul. His heart is full of love to all mankind, to every child of "the Father of the spirits of all flesh

10. For he is "pure in heart." The love of God has purified his heart from all revengeful passions, from envy, malice, and wrath, from every unkind temper or malign affection. It hath cleansed him from pride and haughtiness of spirit, whereof alone cometh contention. And he hath now "put on bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering:" So that he "forbears and forgives, if he had a quarrel against any; even as God in Christ hath forgiven him." And indeed all possible ground for contention, on his part, is utterly cut off. For none can take from him what he desires; seeing he "loves not the world, nor" any of "the things of the world;" being now "crucified to the world, and the world crucified to him;" being dead to all that is in the world, both to "the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eye, and the pride of life." For "all his desire is unto God, and to the remembrance of his name."

11. Agreeable to this his one desire, is the one design of his life, namely, "not to do his own will, but the will of Him that sent him." His one intention at all times and in all things is, not to please himself, but Him whom his soul loveth. He has a single eye. And because "his eye is single, his whole body is full of light." Indeed, where the loving eye of the soul is continually fixed upon God, there can be no darkness at all, "but the whole is light; as when the bright shining of a candle doth enlighten the house." God then reigns alone. All that is in the soul is holiness to the Lord. There is not a motion in his heart, but is according to his will. Every thought that arises points to Him, and is in obedience to the law of Christ.

12. And the tree is known by its fruits. For as he loves God, so he keeps his commandments; not only some, or most of them, but all, from the least to the greatest. He is not content to "keep the whole law, and offend in one point;" but has, in all points, "a conscience void of offence towards God and towards man."

13. All the commandments of God he accordingly keeps, and that with all his might. For his obedience is in proportion to his love, the source from whence it flows. And therefore, loving God with all his heart, he serves him with all his strength.

14. By consequence, whatsoever he doeth, it is all to the glory of God. His one invariable rule is this, "Whatsoever ye do, in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him."

15. Nor do the customs of the world at all hinder his "running the race that is set before him." He knows that vice does not lose its nature, though it becomes ever so fashionable; and remembers, that "every man is to give an account of himself to God." He cannot, therefore, "follow" even "a multitude to do evil." He cannot "fare sumptuously every day," or "make provision for the flesh to fulfill the lusts thereof." He cannot "lay up treasures upon earth," any more than he can take fire into his bosom. He cannot "adorn himself," on any pretence, "with gold or costly apparel." He cannot join in or countenance any diversion which has the least tendency to vice of any kind. He cannot "speak evil" of his neighbour, any more than he can lie either for God or man. He cannot utter an unkind word of any one; for love keeps the door of his lips. He cannot speak "idle words;" "no corrupt communication" ever "comes out of his mouth," as is all that "which is" not "good to the use of edifying," not "fit to minister grace to the hearers." But "whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are" justly "of good report," he thinks, and speaks, and acts, "adorning the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ in all things."

16. Lastly. As he has time, he "does good unto all men;" unto neighbours and strangers, friends and enemies: And that in every possible kind; not only to their bodies, by "feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, visiting those that are sick or in prison;" but much more does he labour to do good to their souls, as of the ability which God giveth; to awaken those that sleep in death; to bring those who are awakened to the atoning blood, that, "being justified by faith, they may have peace with God;" and to provoke those who have peace with God to abound more in love and in good works.

17. These are the principles and practices of our sect; these are the marks of a true Methodist. By these alone do those who are in derision so called, desire to be distinguished from other men. If any man say, "Why, these are only the common fundamental principles of Christianity!" thou hast said; so I mean; this is the very truth; I know they are no other; and I would to God both thou and all men knew, that I, and all who follow my judgment, do vehemently refuse to be distinguished from other men, by any but the common principles of Christianity, -- the plain, old Christianity that I teach, renouncing and detesting all other marks of distinction. And having the mind that was in Christ, he so walks as Christ also walked.

18. By these marks, by these fruits of a living faith, do we labour to distinguish ourselves from the unbelieving world from all those whose minds or lives are not according to the Gospel of Christ.

Lean to far away from those simple lines and you have become something other than a Wesleyan Pentecostal. And Wesleyan Pentecostalism in seven minutes...

As Philadelphia is Brotherly Love so the old Philadelphians would not let you claim religion until the sweet spirit of Christ came shinning through.... And to retell the testimony of GC Rankin....

After the team had been fed and we had been to supper we put the mules to the wagon, filled it with chairs and we were off to the meeting. When we reached the locality it was about dark and the people were assembling. Their horses and wagons filled up the cleared spaces and the singing was already in progress. My uncle and his family went well up toward the front, but I dropped into a seat well to the rear. It was an old-fashioned Church, ancient in appearance, oblong in shape and unpretentious. It was situated in a grove about one hundred yards from the road. It was lighted with old tallow-dip candles furnished by the neighbors. It was not a prepossessing-looking place, but it was soon crowded and evidently there was a great deal of interest. A cadaverous-looking man stood up in front with a tuning fork and raised and led the songs. There were a few prayers and the minister came in with his saddlebags and entered the pulpit. He was the Rev. W. H. Heath, the circuit rider. His prayer impressed me with his earnestness and there were many amens to it in the audience. I do not remember his text, but it was a typical revival sermon, full of unction and power.

At its close he invited penitents to the altar and a great many young people flocked to it and bowed for prayer. Many of them became very much affected and they cried out distressingly for mercy. It had a strange effect on me. It made me nervous and I wanted to retire. Directly my uncle came back to me, put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I did not want to be religious. I told him that I had always had that desire, that mother had brought me up that way, and really I did not know anything else. Then he wanted to know if I had ever professed religion. I hardly understood what he meant and did not answer him. He changed his question and asked me if I had ever been to the altar for prayer, and I answered him in the negative. Then he earnestly besought me to let him take me up to the altar and join the others in being prayed for. It really embarrassed me and I hardly knew what to say to him. He spoke to me of my mother and said that when she was a little girl she went to the altar and that Christ accepted her and she had been a good Christian all these years. That touched me in a tender spot, for mother always did do what was right; and then I was far away from her and wanted to see her. Oh, if she were there to tell me what to do!

By and by I yielded to his entreaty and he led forward to the altar. The minister took me by the hand and spoke tenderly to me as I knelt at the altar. I had gone more out of sympathy than conviction, and I did not know what to do after I bowed there. The others were praying aloud and now and then one would rise shoutingly happy and make the old building ring with his glad praise. It was a novel experience to me. I did not know what to pray for, neither did I know what to expect if I did pray. I spent the most of the hour wondering why I was there and what it all meant. No one explained anything to me. Once in awhile some good old brother or sister would pass my way, strike me on the back and tell me to look up and believe and the blessing would come. But that was not encouraging to me. In fact, it sounded like nonsense and the noise was distracting me. Even in my crude way of thinking I had an idea that religion was a sensible thing and that people ought to become religious intelligently and without all that hurrah. I presume that my ideas were the result of the Presbyterian training given to me by old grandfather. By and by my knees grew tired and the skin was nearly rubbed off my elbows. I thought the service never would close, and when it did conclude with the benediction I heaved a sigh of relief. That was my first experience at the mourner's bench.

As we drove home I did not have much to say, but I listened attentively to the conversation between my uncle and his wife. They were greatly impressed with the meeting, and they spoke first of this one and that one who had "come through" and what a change it would make in the community, as many of them were bad boys. As we were putting up the team my uncle spoke very encouragingly to me; he was delighted with the step I had taken and he pleaded with me not to turn back, but to press on until I found the pearl of great price. He knew my mother would be very happy over the start I had made. Before going to sleep I fell into a train of thought, though I was tired and exhausted. I wondered why I had gone to that altar and what I had gained by it. I felt no special conviction and had received no special impression, but then if my mother had started that way there must be something in it, for she always did what was right. I silently lifted my heart to God in prayer for conviction and guidance. I knew how to pray, for I had come up through prayer, but not the mourner's bench sort. So I determined to continue to attend the meeting and keep on going to the altar until I got religion.

Early the next morning I was up and in a serious frame of mind. I went with the other hands to the cottonfield and at noon I slipped off in the barn and prayed. But the more I thought of the way those young people were moved in the meeting and with what glad hearts they had shouted their praises to God the more it puzzled and confused me. I could not feel the conviction that they had and my heart did not feel melted and tender. I was callous and unmoved in feeling and my distress on account of sin was nothing like theirs. I did not understand my own state of mind and heart. It troubled me, for by this time I really wanted to have an experience like theirs.

When evening came I was ready for Church service and was glad to go. It required no urging. Another large crowd was present and the preacher was as earnest as ever. I did not give much heed to the sermon. In fact, I do not recall a word of it. I was anxious for him to conclude and give me a chance to go to the altar. I had gotten it into my head that there was some real virtue in the mourner's bench; and when the time came I was one of the first to prostrate myself before the altar in prayer. Many others did likewise. Two or three good people at intervals knelt by me and spoke encouragingly to me, but they did not help me. Their talks were mere exhortations to earnestness and faith, but there was no explanation of faith, neither was there any light thrown upon my mind and heart. I wrought myself up into tears and cries for help, but the whole situation was dark and I hardly knew why I cried, or what was the trouble with me. Now and then others would arise from the altar in an ecstasy of joy, but there was no joy for me. When the service closed I was discouraged and felt that maybe I was too hardhearted and the good Spirit could do nothing for me.

After we went home I tossed on the bed before going to sleep and wondered why God did not do for me what he had done for mother and what he was doing in that meeting for those young people at the altar. I could not understand it. But I resolved to keep on trying, and so dropped off to sleep. The next day I had about the same experience and at night saw no change in my condition. And so for several nights I repeated the same distressing experience. The meeting took on such interest that a day service was adopted along with the night exercises, and we attended that also. And one morning while I bowed at the altar in a very disturbed state of mind Brother Tyson, a good local preacher and the father of Rev. J. F. Tyson, now of the Central Conference, sat down by me and, putting his hand on my shoulder, said to me: "Now I want you to sit up awhile and let's talk this matter over quietly. I am sure that you are in earnest, for you have been coming to this altar night after night for several days. I want to ask you a few simple questions." And the following questions were asked and answered:

"My son, do you not love God?"

"I cannot remember when I did not love him."

"Do you believe on his Son, Jesus Christ?"

"I have always believed on Christ. My mother taught me that from my earliest recollection."

"Do you accept him as your Savior?"

"I certainly do, and have always done so."

"Can you think of any sin that is between you and the Savior?"

"No, sir; for I have never committed any bad sins."

"Do you love everybody?"

"Well, I love nearly everybody, but I have no ill-will toward any one. An old man did me a wrong not long ago and I acted ugly toward him, but I do not care to injure him."

"Can you forgive him?"

"Yes, if he wanted me to."

"But, down in your heart, can you wish him well?"

"Yes, sir; I can do that."

"Well, now let me say to you that if you love God, if you accept Jesus Christ as your Savior from sin and if you love your fellowmen and intend by God's help to lead a religious life, that's all there is to religion. In fact, that is all I know about it."

Then he repeated several passages of Scriptures to me proving his assertions. I thought a moment and said to him: "But I do not feel like these young people who have been getting religion night after night. I cannot get happy like them. I do not feel like shouting."

The good man looked at me and smiled and said: "Ah, that's your trouble. You have been trying to feel like them. Now you are not them; you are yourself. You have your own quiet disposition and you are not turned like them. They are excitable and blustery like they are. They give way to their feelings. That's all right, but feeling is not religion. Religion is faith and life. If you have violent feeling with it, all good and well, but if you have faith and not much feeling, why the feeling will take care of itself. To love God and accept Jesus Christ as your Savior, turning away from all sin, and living a godly life, is the substance of true religion."

That was new to me, yet it had been my state of mind from childhood. For I remembered that away back in my early life, when the old preacher held services in my grandmother's house one day and opened the door of the Church, I went forward and gave him my hand. He was to receive me into full membership at the end of six months' probation, but he let it pass out of his mind and failed to attend to it.

As I sat there that morning listening to the earnest exhortation of the good man my tears ceased, my distress left me, light broke in upon my mind, my heart grew joyous, and before I knew just what I was doing I was going all around shaking hands with everybody, and my confusion and darkness disappeared and a great burden rolled off my spirit. I felt exactly like I did when I was a little boy around my mother's knee when she told of Jesus and God and Heaven. It made my heart thrill then, and the same old experience returned to me in that old country Church that beautiful September morning down in old North Georgia.

As we returned home the sun shone brighter, the birds sang sweeter and the autumn-time looked richer than ever before. My heart was light and my spirit buoyant. I had anchored my soul in the haven of rest, and there was not a ripple upon the current of my joy. That night there was no service and after supper I walked out under the great old pine trees and held communion with God. I thought of mother, and home, and Heaven.

I at once gave my name to the preacher for membership in the Church, and the following Sunday morning, along with many others, he received me into full membership in the Methodist Episcopal Church, South. It was one of the most delightful days in my recollection. It was the third Sunday in September, 1866, and those Church vows became a living principle in my heart and life. During these forty-five long years, with their alternations of sunshine and shadow, daylight and darkness, success and failure, rejoicing and weeping, fears within and fightings without, I have never ceased to thank God for that autumnal day in the long ago when my name was registered in the Lamb's Book of Life.

It often happens that those who are most interested in finding a fault with others are the ones at fault.

This sounds rather cultish. I would leave, though I know it may be hard.

daughteroftheonetrueking said:

I'm going to clarify kind of what happened for me to think this way. Our youth pastor asked if we wanted to feel God's presence again, did an altar call you know. I went up there and I got hit with the holy spirit in a way that i haven't felt in a long time. I was hardly able to support myself. Then the youth pastors wife came over and told me to let the spirit out (I was speaking in tongues) but I'm not a loud person. So she bends down to listen told our youth pastor to listen, and whispered something to him. I could still hear though and I heard her say she's faking it. Which I wasn't, I went home and cried. That's my problem is I can't confront a pastor over something like that, but the leaders do stuff like that all the time as well. It's just upsetting because when you feel the power of the spirit like that only to have someone crush what you know to be true in that moment. I try not to get discouraged but God knows what's true and what isn't.

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I've attended a Four Square Church for many years. They teach that spiritual gifts are very much alive and practice them. Assemblies of God does as well and others. I do not speak in tongues. I had a girlfriend who led me to the Lord who did. I didn't understand what she was saying, nor did she. It is a prayer language and edifying to you only unless someone in your congregation has the gift of interpretation of tongues. It is a deep prayer in which the Holy Spirit is in communion with you, but is a foreign language to others. It sometimes makes others uncomfortable. Imagine sitting thriugh a Chinese sermon, what will you get out if it?
Can you interpret what you are saying? Because if you can, or find some else who can, then it can be beneficial to others if what you are saying is edifying or possibly prophetic.
I have often had others pray for me in tongues and I didn't understand, nor did anyone interpret so it wasn't edifying for me at the moment. Spiritually prayers are always beneficial, but usually it is more for your edification. (Read 1 Cor. 12)
That said, when you have a problem with someone, the Bible tells us to confront that person first, if they don't listen, maybe if you shared with others and they support you, have them speak to her and if the problem isn't resolved then speak to an elder, then the Pastor. This youth pastor's wife apparently doesn't interpret tongues, maybe she doesn't speak in tongues either. It could be her insecurity and fear that your gift is real and she has yet to realize hers? We are sinners. People still get envious and jealous.
If none of this works, find another church.