just venting :( ?

Fenwick said:

I would say if that's the kind of attitude you're walking away from church with, maybe both you and that church need to have a round of introspection. General rule of thumb: if a place puts a high price on testimony and it isn't a courtroom, give it a wide berth because that shows it's just subject to the whimsy of whoever the mic is passed to that day.

It sounds like this church isn't imparting any grace, nor does it sound like you have the right idea about what church is meant to be. It's not a soirée. If you want that join the Rotary Club. Sundays are meant to worship God and receive the Sacraments. Full stop.

Maybe think about what your priorities are in your faith.

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Paulie079 said:

If that is the case, then I would offer this.

Addressing the OP now, it is really easy to justify saying certain things by saying that it is just venting or just our thoughts and opinions, but if your words are crude and offensive, there is no justification for that.

I doubt you will like what I have to say but I want to be straight. It sounds to me like you are the one with the problem, not the pastor or the woman you described. You are allowing the bitterness of your life circumstances to completely color everything else, and the result is that you are actually sort of justifying the situation that you are in. You seem extremely bitter about being lonely and not having friends, but consider for a second, would you want to be friends with someone who you knew could possibly go off and rant to others about you, calling you fat or a prostitute? Because that's what I would be wondering if I were your friend. When you go on these crude, scathing rants, do you really think that causes people to be interested in pursuing friendship with you? And then thing is, you may only do it online, but people in your life can sense that bitterness and desperation, just as they can sense if you are a person who is at peace with their life and exercises gratitude. This bitterness and hatred is only going to keep dragging you down, and these rants will never make you feel better either. What you need is to start accepting the circumstances of your life, that they are what they are, and that only you are responsible for changing them if you so desire. No one is going to do that for you.

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Cearbhall said:

Recommending that someone look into that option is better than being an armchair psychologist to a stranger.

Frankly, most people could use one, at least at certain times. It's hard to recommend it "too often."

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High Fidelity said:

You may be hurting yourself, but I don't think the way you spoke about that woman was justified.

In denouncing her faults you've highlighted a handful of your own. To that end, I'd recommend you don't dwell on the shortcomings of others because the longer you do that the longer you'll be searching for that calm and peace within yourself. Bitterness is bitterness whether it's regarding one's own situation or another's, and it'll eat you up and keep you downtrodden not because of an action, but your reaction to it.

Yes it sounds like she's taking her blessings for granted, but if any change is going to come from that, it isn't by verbally assaulting them directly or indirectly like you did. Think of the people on the street yelling to accept Christ or burn in Hell; how many people do you think they really lead to Christ? Certainly not as many as those that walk past rolling their eyes trying to stifle a laugh. Change occurs in love, compassion, respect and sincerity; exhibit those traits and you'll be far more likely to reach someone's heart because it's more akin to Christ and Christ-likeness; the alternative is being dogmatic, loud and offensive to people that will immediately put them on the defensive and entrench them in their own position because that is the natural response.

Perhaps speak with your Pastor about it and ask for his help and spiritual guidance to help free you up from bitterness and maybe ask him for some Biblical guidelines in how to approach and question conflict, disagreement or particular emotions(envy, anger, frustration, etc), because ultimately it is a process that doesn't come naturally to many people. A lot of people's reaction is, well, reactionary; we very often speak before with think and I believe in instances like this, we really need to think before we speak. Observe the event through a Biblical lens and apply the framework you develop in approaching those sorts of things to break it down, analyse it and determine how best to approach it from a Biblical perspective and hopefully in a way that edifies both parties.

We all stumble. We all have monkeys on our backs that get the better of us sometimes but I firmly believe the action is seldom as important as our reaction to it; if you do wrong, make it right, whether it's the same day or same week, don't be too proud or consumed by another emotion to return to it and do the right thing.

Okay I'm going on and on and on so I'll shut up.

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