Working on communication skills

Far Side Of the Moon · May 16, 2017

I'm a pretty shy person and I don't perform well under pressure..but ice learned now that I can't escape communications.
Its literally a major key for every job..

Plus I feel its better to improve in areas you're weak in..

But I was wondering are there other ways besides me going from job to job( due to not being a good communicator/shy /slow on the job) or chooiseing a job heavy in communications...

Is a good way to improve my speaking skills. ?

Thank you

Albion · May 16, 2017

People say that joining the organization called "Toastmasters" is helpful. I guess it's like Alcoholics Anonymous but for people who are afraid to speak in public. Your problem isn't exactly like being afraid to deliver a public address or speech, but it seems similar to me and I would think that curing it on your own would be tough.

PKFox · May 16, 2017

Maybe taking a communications class at a local college? (Speaking from experience as a dual-enrolled student in high school.)

Far Side Of the Moon · May 16, 2017

PKFox said:
Maybe taking a communications class at a local college? (Speaking from experience as a dual-enrolled student in high school.)

Is rather work on my communication issues where it doesn't interfere with my grade,,, you know?

Far Side Of the Moon · May 16, 2017

Albion said:
People say that joining the organization called "Toastmasters" is helpful. I guess it's like Alcoholics Anonymous but for people who are afraid to speak in public. Your problem isn't exactly like being afraid to deliver a public address or speech, but it seems similar to me and I would think that curing it on your own would be tough.

Hahaha AA for people who are afraif,,,yeah .
Man public speeches scare me..I failed an English class because of it( but I lat3r passed with a B)

Yeah curing,it on my own seems challenging...maybe I can get a therapist or someone who can help me with communications issues. And to help me b3 professional.

Hearingheart · May 16, 2017

Albion said:
People say that joining the organization called "Toastmasters" is helpful. I guess it's like Alcoholics Anonymous but for people who are afraid to speak in public. Your problem isn't exactly like being afraid to deliver a public address or speech, but it seems similar to me and I would think that curing it on your own would be tough.

I second Toastmaster's. You can find a group near you by looking them up on google.

Far Side Of the Moon · May 16, 2017

Hearingheart said:
I second Toastmaster's. You can find a group near you by looking them up on google.

Yeah. Ill Google an area near me

Bob Crowley · May 16, 2017

Far Side Of the Moon said:
I'm a pretty shy person and I don't perform well under pressure..but ice learned now that I can't escape communications. Its literally a major key for every job..

Plus I feel its better to improve in areas you're weak in..

But I was wondering are there other ways besides me going from job to job( due to not being a good communicator/shy /slow on the job) or chooiseing a job heavy in communications...

Is a good way to improve my speaking skills. ?

Thank you

It's often said that the two greatest fears people have in general are death and public speaking. What is surprising is that people are allegedly more afraid of public speaking that death. Which means that at the average funeral most people would rather be lying supine and better dressed than they were in real life in the box with handles than giving the eulogy...

I'm been in Toastmasters for quite a while. I haven't made as much use of it as I could have done, but I'm involved in several other areas, so I've got limited time.

If you really want to overcome your fear of communicating, I can hardly think of a better way to do so that to join Toastmasters. It's an American organistion (I assume you're American) and has been around for a long time. The whole ethos of Toastmasters is to encourage people to overcome their fear of public speaking in particular. It's relatively cheap (much cheaper than some other "self improvement" courses, and you can join a club, and stay in a club for years if you want to.

I'd strongly suggest you look around for a local Toastmasters Club and just attend a few meetings to begin with, most likely cost free, so you have some idea of what they do and how they do it. I think you'll find it quite non-threatening, other than your own fears in walking through the door.

If you don't do somethings, you're not going to go anywhere. So I'd suggest you get on the net and look up Toastmasters and key in your zip code or postcode to find a suitable club. To save you the trouble, I've put the link below.

https://www.toastmasters.org/find-a-club

All the best. But you have to do something, or you'll just stay right where you are.

Tolworth John · May 16, 2017

What do you need to communicate?
If its work related then one learns what has to be said ie if a waitress, know what is on the menu, what is in the veg option, gluten free and how the meat is cooked.
Then one hides behind the order pad and greets the customers with that firms formula, asks what they would like to drink while handing out the menus. Everything is a formula.

The more complex the job or social situation the more complex the formulas or set responces are. The skill is in adapting these sayings/answers to changing situations.

Time also gives one confidence as one builds up experience in handling enquires ans awkward difficult to please customers.

Far Side Of the Moon · May 16, 2017

Tolworth John said:
What do you need to communicate?
If its work related then one learns what has to be said ie if a waitress, know what is on the menu, what is in the veg option, gluten free and how the meat is cooked.
Then one hides behind the order pad and greets the customers with that firms formula, asks what they would like to drink while handing out the menus. Everything is a formula.

The more complex the job or social situation the more complex the formulas or set responces are. The skill is in adapting these sayings/answers to changing situations.

Time also gives one confidence as one builds up experience in handling enquires ans awkward difficult to please customers.

Yeah I need to know how to communicate in a job setting.

Poppyseed78 · May 16, 2017

In a professional setting, I would recommend a few things. Maintain eye contact, don't interrupt, say please, thank you, etc, and in general show that you are listening when people speak. Show interest, don't act sleepy or bored. Ask relevant questions to show that you care and are paying attention.

ArmenianJohn · May 16, 2017

Far Side Of the Moon said:
I'm a pretty shy person and I don't perform well under pressure..but ice learned now that I can't escape communications.
Its literally a major key for every job..

Plus I feel its better to improve in areas you're weak in..

But I was wondering are there other ways besides me going from job to job( due to not being a good communicator/shy /slow on the job) or chooiseing a job heavy in communications...

Is a good way to improve my speaking skills. ?

Thank you

I'm president of my company's Toastmasters club in midtown Manhattan and I highly recommend it as your way to get around your obstacles to speaking and public speaking.

You can find clubs local to you at http://toastmasters.com - typically dues are low (less than $10/month) and clubs meet either weekly or bi-weekly. Some people join more than one club if they want to attend more than one meeting per week.

What you can expect from Toastmasters:
- a safe environment
- support and feedback from your fellow club members
- a structured curriculum to help you improve your public speaking - the "Competent Communicator" course has you doing 10 speeches, with each one focused on a different public speaking skill
- the opportunity to speak in every meeting
- the opportunity to take on roles in meetings that help you learn by observing others (roles such as timer, grammarian, uh/ah-counter, evaluator, etc.0
- leadership opportunities - if you want to become an officer of your club it will greatly help you learn leadership skills while you're learning communication/speaking skills

You can't get this experience anywhere else that I know of. In Toastmasters you not only learn but you immediately get to put into practice your new knowledge and skills. You don't have a chance to speak publicly often so TM is a great place to get that chance. It is a safe environment - all people are there to improve and you are likely to have many people who have poor skills there, not just you - that's what the club is for!

If you have any other questions about Toastmasters let me know. It has helped me immensely.

Tolworth John · May 16, 2017

Far Side Of the Moon said:
Yeah I need to know how to communicate in a job setting.

Treat it like your on stage, playing the part of a slightly scatty waitress and play the part. It won't be you but your actress side of you on stage giving an oscar winning performance.

Far Side Of the Moon · May 16, 2017

ArmenianJohn said:
I'm president of my company's Toastmasters club in midtown Manhattan and I highly recommend it as your way to get around your obstacles to speaking and public speaking.

You can find clubs local to you at http://toastmasters.com - typically dues are low (less than $10/month) and clubs meet either weekly or bi-weekly. Some people join more than one club if they want to attend more than one meeting per week.

What you can expect from Toastmasters:
- a safe environment
- support and feedback from your fellow club members
- a structured curriculum to help you improve your public speaking - the "Competent Communicator" course has you doing 10 speeches, with each one focused on a different public speaking skill
- the opportunity to speak in every meeting
- the opportunity to take on roles in meetings that help you learn by observing others (roles such as timer, grammarian, uh/ah-counter, evaluator, etc.0
- leadership opportunities - if you want to become an officer of your club it will greatly help you learn leadership skills while you're learning communication/speaking skills

You can't get this experience anywhere else that I know of. In Toastmasters you not only learn but you immediately get to put into practice your new knowledge and skills. You don't have a chance to speak publicly often so TM is a great place to get that chance. It is a safe environment - all people are there to improve and you are likely to have many people who have poor skills there, not just you - that's what the club is for!

If you have any other questions about Toastmasters let me know. It has helped me immensely.

Wow 10bucks a month can't best that.

ArmenianJohn · May 16, 2017

Far Side Of the Moon said:
Wow 10bucks a month can't best that.

lol, no - it's actually less, it's $45 per 6 month term, which is about $7.50 a month; that's the Toastmasters International dues. Each club may add on to that, so it can be more. My club doesn't charge anything so our members pay only the $7.50/month to TM International. Another club down the street charges something like $300 per 6-month term, but they provide lunch and refreshments at their meetings and they meet every week, plus they have other special events and benefits. So it all depends on the club - you're bound to find 2 or more that are very close to you, so compare them, visit each one and compare details before you sign up for any of them.

I should say also that in Toastmasters you are responsible to take initiative. Nobody will make you do anything, so if you want to learn, if you want to improve, you have to be self-disciplined to commit to doing speeches and then following through by writing and practicing and delivering them.

I would recommend you also look into courses at schools - most likely your local community college will have classes available and that's a great place to learn. If you're already in school take a public speaking class in your school. I did this when I was right out of college (Rutgers) and it helped me IMMENSELY.

You're going to see (if you haven't already) that in life, including (and especially) in the job world, there are MANY people who are qualified to do certain jobs, but what separates the ones who move ahead in their fields is their ability to communicate, to speak, and to do so easily and comfortably but also very effectively. It doesn't matter what your job is, if you can do that AND communicate then you have a HUGE advantage over everyone else.

Same goes for any other group or organization or community you're involved in - if you are a great speaker and communicator you will naturally succeed and get ahead of everyone else. This skill is invaluable!

Kit Sigmon · May 16, 2017

Being a in-home caregiver...relatively short education time(3 months)...some
nursing agencies will train or have jobs that only call for a home care aide...light
housekeeping, prepare meals etc.
Agency assigns you a patient/client....you have the patient's day-by-day care/chore
sheet to follow, nursing hand-booklet of rules/regulations, charting sheet/notes.
Follow assignments, any problems call the agency.

Kixa · May 17, 2017

I feel I am in the same boat. I envy (not sinfully, more like admire) people who can smooth any conversation and make it less awkward. My husband is amazing at this and when I want to say something it never comes out of my mouth the way I think it in my head! However, even though I wish that skill were stronger, I realize God may just not have gifted me in that area for a reason. I am very good at acts of service and I am a caretaker for a wheelchair-bound woman. I pray with her and tell her the gospel, but if there is silence I'm the conversation I don't feel like I HAVE to fill it. My actions speak louder than words.
Of course, in Moses' case, he tried to use a lack of communication as an excuse to refuse God's plan for his life. If you feel God is calling you to speak up and be more at ease, seek Him! He gives wisdom to those who ask, and He grants courage when we are more afraid of what people think of us than what God thinks of us. Good luck!!

Working on communication skills

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