Should i mention names and explain the sin in detail during confession?

Confession is about the person confessing rather than everyone else he knows. I don't usually name names. I think you should discuss some of this with your priest, since I think you should find a happy medium between being too general and getting into specifics.

I certainly wouldn't mention names of persons in the parish, which could cause certain tensions, unless the priest needs that information to intervene on your behalf to resolve a problem, which would be extremely rare I should think.

And I cannot imagine that confessing thoughts of lust for a priest to that priest would do anyone much good. You might discuss this with another priest if it is a habitual problem.

I agree with what Jesus4Madrid said.

It might be necessary to mention another person in terms of your interaction with them, but names are probably never necessary. Sometimes you might mention a family member because how you treated your mother, husband, or child might be relevant in terms of relationship, or even a superior at work, but the relationship is what matters, not their name. Almost every mention of another person in Confession can be generic ... "I had bitterness against someone because I felt rebellious about them telling me to do something."

If you are giving reasons, be careful. If they excuse your action, explain why you did it so that it's not so bad or understandable, make someone else guilty with you (unless you need guidance of how to proceed in some action taken against you both), or in any way make you seem less guilty, more reasonable, excuseable, then be wary of your reason for wanting to share them. I for one felt tremendous temptation to "justify myself" because in context, my actions were "not that bad". It is much better not to give reasons or excuses, just "I did this, I said that, I thought this." Stripping away excuses is the only way you can truly see your sin for what it is, and take responsibility, and learn to hate it. But if the situation is CAUSING you to sin, and you need help dealing with the situation so you can avoid that sin, it might be ok to share that. It can be helpful to think about these things in advance.

As far as lustful thoughts about the priest, I wouldn't reveal the details in confession to that priest. If lust in general is the problem, then confess "I had lustful thoughts" ... no need to say who or why. If you are having particular thoughts of lust connected TO the priesthood ... if it were me, I would seek out a priest you don't have that thought about (maybe a much older one?) to talk about it. There can actually be some common reasons for that, such as confusing the Father/partner role, responding to his pastoral care, especial temptation aimed at destroying you and/or him, confusing a spiritual drawing with a sexual one, or a particular temptation for "unreachable" men. Probably others as well. If it persists, it's worth understanding the reason so it can be dealt with.

Sofia said:

1. Should i mention names of people whom i have sinned against?
2. Should i explain the sin in detail?
2. Should i explain why i did the sin, not to defend or justify myself, but in order to explain the sin in more detail, so that the priest will know exactly what sin i did and also god to know about what sin i confess

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these are really between you and your confessor, and what he thinks is best to help you heal.

Sofia said:

3. What if you have sexual thoughts about your priest to whom you go to a confession, so during a confession, should you confess to him that you had sexual thoughts about him or just say that you had sexual thoughts about some priest, without telling him that you had sexual thoughts about him?

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personally, if I were you, I would go to another priest that you trust when it comes to something like this (and let your priest know you are going) like the next time you go on retreat or a pilgrimage or something for advice. then if he thinks it's best you confess to him, do it there. or if he gives you advice and says you can confess sins of lust to your priest, there you go.

What the others said.
I'll throw in the small point that if you are in a parish where people have to wait in line for confession, it is important to not take up a lot of the time that is limited for everyone, and if you think you need more than a couple of minutes, you should make an appointment. In my parish, a few people taking a very long time can actually prevent twenty or more people behind them from being able to avail themselves of the Sacrament that day. My priest has frequently felt forced to hear Confessions during the Liturgy, during the "breaks" when the choir is singing the Beatitudes, troparia and so on, at least up to the Trisagion, and even just before the Eucharist.

If you are in a small parish where the priest actually just stands there because nobody is coming to Confession, I guess that's not a problem...

rusmeister said:

What the others said.
I'll throw in the small point that if you are in a parish where people have to wait in line for confession, it is important to not take up a lot of the time that is limited for everyone, and if you think you need more than a couple of minutes, you should make an appointment. In my parish, a few people taking a very long time can actually prevent twenty or more people behind them from being able to avail themselves of the Sacrament that day. My priest has frequently felt forced to hear Confessions during the Liturgy, during the "breaks" when the choir is singing the Beatitudes, troparia and so on, at least up to the Trisagion, and even just before the Eucharist.

If you are in a small parish where the priest actually just stands there because nobody is coming to Confession, I guess that's not a problem...

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My parish does confessions Saturday nights but there is still often a line. When it had been a while and I knew it would be potentially time consuming I wrote and asked if we should make an appointment or if I should show up on a Saturday. I was told to show up on a Saturday, but plan to go last. I think that worked well.

Avoid naming names as much as possible. (obviously, its sometimes hard to avoid it, like if you say, "I was tempted to cheat on my spouse, well, the priest will know who you are talking about) It's about the sin being confessed, not about that other person. Especially do not mention names if you committed a sin with that person, unless you absolutely have to which leads me to my next thing:


The only time I can see where you have to name someone is when there's some kind of egregious abuse (sexual, physical, verbal, etc). In those situations, I'm not sure confession is the appropriate time to discuss that. I would set up an appointment with your priest to discuss such things as abuse or some criminal activity taking place at another time and place.

I know some people who do not go to their parish priest for confession. That's another option too.


Avoid details. Your priest does not need to know them, and you might lead your priest into temptation by going into all the gory details, especially when you couple that with naming names.

Use as little detail as necessary to convey your sins. If the priest needs to hear more, he'll ask.

Sofia said:

But if i don't mention the names of the people that i hurt and sinned against and don't explain the sin in more detail then how the priest will know who i hurt and sinned against and what is my sin and how i sinned?

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the priest should know that you gossiped or lusted or whatever, but it's that we do it at all that's the issue. if he feels the need to get more detail out of you, he can ask. if he doesn't, trust what God does through him and carry on. if it keeps happening, keep bringing it up, eventually the medicine will work.

Sofia said:

And how will God know for what sin i repent and confess if i dont say exactly who i hurt and sinned against and explain the sin in more detail?

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God is all knowing, He knows if you are repentant no matter what you say or don't say. He knows the heart fully.

I don't know if this helps at all but I came across this is an old church newsletter today, written by my priest.

"The Fathers of the Church discouraged individuals from being too specific in describing their sins, for fear of sinning during confession by reliving them all over again. Thus the content of a Confession should be limited to the naming of the sins. Sometimes, especially when we are learning to confess, that is not enough and a priest will ask for clarification, but he is not (or should not be) asking for details so much as for context."