Been single so long losing hope & depressed

Far Side Of the Moon · Oct 28, 2016

I've never had a bf... And the desire to have a significant other to share my life with isnt going away...only getting stronger.

The fact I've been alone so long ( I'm 25) makes me feel like a bad person or like god is trying to keep people from me as a warning to them... Idk and its even harder when my friends are also taken and I hear about some of their good sex stories...

And when I'm on YouTube, I have a slight crush on one youtuber and some celebrities..( dont worry nothing crazy)

Its just the fact live has been kept from me makes me feel like I'm dangerous or something if no one has been able to come into my life..ita just...a bit unbearable... It makes me wanna cry honestly.

Please help

Far Side Of the Moon · Oct 28, 2016

This makes me feel like I'm a broken person.. BC I cant love or be loved it seems.. Its just hard

ewq1938 · Oct 28, 2016

Saw this an hour ago...I didn't know how to respond. Who is Ur youtube crush?

timewerx · Oct 28, 2016

Nothing's wrong with you.

I mean look at me, I'm already 35, only got two fleeting relationships, one of them is LDR, never sex.

But I don't feel bad about it. There's a lot worse things like having no money or having no job, no career, no future or have a very ------ job, living in slum conditions. Been there.

So if being single or never sex are my only problems or other petty ones, darn, I'd be really happy!

Daryl Gleason · Oct 28, 2016

Far Side Of the Moon said:
I've never had a bf... And the desire to have a significant other to share my life with isnt going away...only getting stronger.

The fact I've been alone so long ( I'm 25) makes me feel like a bad person or like god is trying to keep people from me as a warning to them... Idk and its even harder when my friends are also taken and I hear about some of their good sex stories...

And when I'm on YouTube, I have a slight crush on one youtuber and some celebrities..( dont worry nothing crazy)

Its just the fact live has been kept from me makes me feel like I'm dangerous or something if no one has been able to come into my life..ita just...a bit unbearable... It makes me wanna cry honestly.

Please help

I've been alone for the majority of my life as well -- and the few times I wasn't didn't turn out well.

It is frustrating when God even seems to be working to actively prevent me from being with anyone. I know these feelings very well.

Loneliness is like an ocean filled with tears that goes on forever. There are some things worse, like betrayal, unfaithfulness, abuse, and even unrequited love, but where those are like peaks or valleys of comparatively short duration, loneliness goes on and on interminably.

On the other side, though, I've seen that it is truly better to be alone than to be with the wrong person, both from personal experience and from the number of prayer requests from dear sisters here who are suffering in their relationships.

Also, I've seen that it's not because we're broken or unlovable that we're alone -- it's because God is protecting our hearts, keeping us, preparing us.

The deeper we are, and the deeper we feel, the harder it is to find someone who can understand us, much less share the depths with us. But such people do exist; it's just hard to find them. "With man this is impossible, but with God, all things are possible." (Matthew 19:26)

You're not broken, sister, nor are you unlovable. You're a gift that just hasn't been given yet. Proverbs 18:22 and also Proverbs 31:10. The man to whom you give your heart, and who is capable of valuing it enough to give you his, will be blessed indeed.

All things must be according to God's timing -- as hard as it can be for us to wait.

In Christ,
Daryl

Norbert L · Oct 28, 2016

Being single has absolutely no bearing on your righteousness before God, basically marriage doesn't make anyone a better Christian.

Also when it comes to good sex stories, the apostle Paul makes a relevant statement, "... lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God" in 2 Timothy 3:4.

What you think love is may not necessarily be the same thing of what God knows it to be. In my experience, feeling like one who is under a curse of being a broken person because of being single is only the result from believing it to be true. It's not, it's a false and destructive feeling.

My advise, try to dislodge any thoughts of "I'm single therefore I'm broken" straight out of your mind. That may be the hardest thing to do, but don't give up on it. It can lead to actually finding the pearl of great price. Matthew 13:45-46

Far Side Of the Moon · Oct 28, 2016

Norbert L said:
Being single has absolutely no bearing on your righteousness before God, basically marriage doesn't make anyone a better Christian.

Also when it comes to good sex stories, the apostle Paul makes a relevant statement, "... lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God" in 2 Timothy 3:4.

What you think love is may not necessarily be the same thing of what God knows it to be. In my experience, feeling like one who is under a curse of being a broken person because of being single is only the result from believing it to be true. It's not, it's a false and destructive feeling.

My advise, try to dislodge any thoughts of "I'm single therefore I'm broken" straight out of your mind. That may be the hardest thing to do, but don't give up on it. It can lead to actually finding the pearl of great price. Matthew 13:45-46

timewerx said:
Nothing's wrong with you.

I mean look at me, I'm already 35, only got two fleeting relationships, one of them is LDR, never sex.

But I don't feel bad about it. There's a lot worse things like having no money or having no job, no career, no future or have a very ------ job, living in slum conditions. Been there.

So if being single or never sex are my only problems or other petty ones, darn, I'd be really happy!

Yeah, I mean if being single was the only thing I feel I'd feel a little bit better but I have other things going on, like you listed... But it foes bother me to not be able to share the love I have inside me.

smithed64 · Oct 28, 2016

Someone does love you, very much so. More than you'll ever find on this earth to love you and that's Christ.
Don't shake your head and shrug your shoulder's and say "I know this"...if you did, you wouldn't feel lonely.
He loves you so much, he wants you to love Him back the same. Maybe your single right now, because God has a job for you to do, that a boyfriend or husband would hinder you in. Or maybe they would be a stumbling block for you serving God.
Your looking for that number one...well if your truly Born Again...You found Him. Jesus should be the center of your life. Once you place Jesus as your number one, trusting and obeying Him. Going about the fathers business. You never know, God may open the doors for a Man of God, who also places Christ first, to come into your life.
We are to have joy, unspeakable joy in our life, because God has mercy on us and made it possible for us to be save.

timewerx · Oct 28, 2016

Far Side Of the Moon said:
But it foes bother me to not be able to share the love I have inside me.

It used to bother me too but not anymore.

You might just be envious of people around you who do. It was my problem. I even used to feel bad going to the beach or just about anywhere for I'm gonna see happy couples and it will make me feel sad.

When I got rid of the envy, I felt real contentment of whatever situation I am in.

Couples are excessively overrated! Read the Bible, particularly in the New Testament, it's not a big deal.

Daryl Gleason · Oct 28, 2016

timewerx said:
It used to bother me too but not anymore.

You might just be envious of people around you who do. It was my problem. I even used to feel bad going to the beach or just about anywhere for I'm gonna see happy couples and it will make me feel sad.

When I got rid of the envy, I felt real contentment of whatever situation I am in.

Couples are excessively overrated! Read the Bible, particularly in the New Testament, it's not a big deal.

I don't know if the OP feels this way, but speaking for myself, I haven't found envy to be the problem. Rather, it's as if this whole ocean I mentioned above is dammed up and unable to flow, and there is immense pressure on the dam which is quite painful.

I've lived with that pain pretty much every moment of my life, even since my earliest childhood memories, and sometimes it's harder to bear than at other times. Normally, I'm ok and can function well professionally and personally. However, there are times that a tender moment in a movie or on TV or seeing a couple kiss or hold hands can remind me of the pain in my heart. It's not that I envy what they have; it's just that the ocean needs to flow, and it can't right now, and that's painful.

There is a reason that God said, "It's not good that the man should be alone..." in Genesis 2:18; this is because we humans were designed to love, and the purest form of this love among humans is in Ephesians 5:22-33. Sure, we can live without it, and we may be able to be content or even happy, but in my experience, most of us who are single live with a form of this pain in our hearts to some degree.

My hope is in the Lord, as he knows and feels the extent of our suffering, especially when there are no words to express it.

In Christ,
Daryl

Far Side Of the Moon · Oct 28, 2016

Daryl Gleason said:
I don't know if the OP feels this way, but speaking for myself, I haven't found envy to be the problem. Rather, it's as if this whole ocean I mentioned above is dammed up and unable to flow, and there is immense pressure on the dam which is quite painful.

I've lived with that pain pretty much every moment of my life, even since my earliest childhood memories, and sometimes it's harder to bear than at other times. Normally, I'm ok and can function well professionally and personally. However, there are times that a tender moment in a movie or on TV or seeing a couple kiss or hold hands can remind me of the pain in my heart. It's not that I envy what they have; it's just that the ocean needs to flow, and it can't right now, and that's painful.

There is a reason that God said, "It's not good that the man should be alone..." in Genesis 2:18; this is because we humans were designed to love, and the purest form of this love among humans is in Ephesians 5:22-33. Sure, we can live without it, and we may be able to be content or even happy, but in my experience, most of us who are single live with a form of this pain in our hearts to some degree.

My hope is in the Lord, as he knows and feels the extent of our suffering, especially when there are no words to express it.

In Christ,
Daryl

Right! This is what I feel... I'm happy for couples..i just want to love and be loved..to know someone so intimately...its just really beautiful..and I hope I get to participate in that

.Mikha'el. · Oct 28, 2016

ON!

Thread moved from Singles FTB to Singles!

OFF!

alsughasoughaiuyfygh · Oct 28, 2016

Ubuntu · Oct 28, 2016

Amen to @Norbert L and @Daryl Gleason!

There is this particular Bible verse that I find very comforting, it says that a godly spouse is a gift from God. (Proverbs 19:14)

James of Arc · Oct 28, 2016

Why are your friends telling you about their sex, just not right.

We need to learn to shield our hearts with the Spirit and when we do so the lust goes away or is not allowed to enter.

Getting into a relationship for sex is like going to burger Kings for the toy, if you do that you will realize the food sucks and the toy is a let down.

You get into a relationship because God needs you to become one with another and then you become a half of one and sex is something that help join you but it is not about sex, it is about joining.

I myself have wasted my youth and relationships have passed me by and the reason I can joke about it because it is not something I take serious at my old age. As for you you need to learn what a relationship is for before entering one or it will not be satisfying and it will fail.

EyesOfKohl · Oct 28, 2016

Far Side Of the Moon said:
I've never had a bf... And the desire to have a significant other to share my life with isnt going away...only getting stronger.

The fact I've been alone so long ( I'm 25) makes me feel like a bad person or like god is trying to keep people from me as a warning to them... Idk and its even harder when my friends are also taken and I hear about some of their good sex stories...

And when I'm on YouTube, I have a slight crush on one youtuber and some celebrities..( dont worry nothing crazy)

Its just the fact live has been kept from me makes me feel like I'm dangerous or something if no one has been able to come into my life..ita just...a bit unbearable... It makes me wanna cry honestly.

Please help

I'm nearly 25 as well, and I haven't had a real relationship or even kissed a girl haha. I understand when you say about the desire to find someone becoming stronger. I'm considering opening up to this idea and pursuing someone soon.

My advice would be to try and find happiness within yourself. Relationships aren't necessarily something which is going to happen overnight, so in the mean time, find answers and happiness within yourself.

:hug:

Ilovereading · Oct 28, 2016

I am 26 and never have had a boyfriend.

jdw4jesus · Oct 28, 2016

Praying for you! I know how hard that can be and I'm just starting to accept it myself after years of resisting! And I am 30.

Far Side Of the Moon · Oct 28, 2016

jdw4jesus said:
Praying for you! I know how hard that can be and I'm just starting to accept it myself after years of resisting! And I am 30.

It is hard but I dont want to accept it..i wanna share myself with somebody.

Sketcher · Oct 28, 2016

I'm older than you, no woman has ever loved me back, I wanted for most of my life to have started a family before I reached my current age, and I have no prospects on the horizon. You're at a very good age, actually. If I were 25 again with the same problems I have now, I would be much better off being as I would have more time and opportunity.

Been single so long losing hope & depressed

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