Long story short I had tons of friends in high school. I met a guy and ran off to get married just out of school. He was crazy abusive and controlling so every friend quickly vanished and I was shipped across country. I made about two "friends" that were highly monitored in the years I was with him.
So I get away but at this point I'm a single mother who just ran across country with no where to go and was homeless so I didn't have time to make friends. It was more important I get on my feet and stable for my child. So I did.
And suddenly I met someone. He was so awesome and we are now years later married. I was so wrapped up in him once he came along I just didn't have time to make friends. I made friends with his friends but they are men so I keep at a good arms distance. It's what we both feel comfortable with.
My husband encourages me all the time to make friends. He encourages me to spend time with other people but at this point I don't know how! I am active in my church and I attend functions. I volunteer at our welcome center and practically everyone knows me. They are all nice and say hi and smile and we even talk for a minute but then it gets to a point in the conversation where neither of us are talking to I awkwardly end the conversation there and that's that.
I see all of these people getting invited to all kinds of things and I've been invited to lunch once in the two years I have been there and that was it.
I come from a drug home and I have a lot of history and maybe that's the reason I shut off but I genuinely feel like these people can see that darkness that came from my past and that they are put off by it. Maybe I'm wrong and maybe I need to do the inviting but it just seems like no one is interested. I've mentioned "Oh hey let's go do xyz some time!" and get a "yeah sure!" but nothing ever happens.
What am I doing wrong? What can I do? I need a friend
So I get away but at this point I'm a single mother who just ran across country with no where to go and was homeless so I didn't have time to make friends. It was more important I get on my feet and stable for my child. So I did.
And suddenly I met someone. He was so awesome and we are now years later married. I was so wrapped up in him once he came along I just didn't have time to make friends. I made friends with his friends but they are men so I keep at a good arms distance. It's what we both feel comfortable with.
My husband encourages me all the time to make friends. He encourages me to spend time with other people but at this point I don't know how! I am active in my church and I attend functions. I volunteer at our welcome center and practically everyone knows me. They are all nice and say hi and smile and we even talk for a minute but then it gets to a point in the conversation where neither of us are talking to I awkwardly end the conversation there and that's that.
I see all of these people getting invited to all kinds of things and I've been invited to lunch once in the two years I have been there and that was it.
I come from a drug home and I have a lot of history and maybe that's the reason I shut off but I genuinely feel like these people can see that darkness that came from my past and that they are put off by it. Maybe I'm wrong and maybe I need to do the inviting but it just seems like no one is interested. I've mentioned "Oh hey let's go do xyz some time!" and get a "yeah sure!" but nothing ever happens.
What am I doing wrong? What can I do? I need a friend
