If you DECIDE to believe in the death and res of Christ...

Leet · Apr 29, 2015

Does that mean you truly believe?

Considering this is the most important thing ever as salvation hinges on it, does anyone else feel they can't dig deep enough into their own soul to feel convinced enough about whether or not you believe that he died and rose again?

I have suffered varying manifestations of OCD since I was a little girl but this would have to be the worst of all. Worst because I don't know whether the core of it OCD or plain old unbelief, even though the continual thoughts about it are surely inflamed by OCD.

Sometimes I feel like my mind is attempting to turn me into a non-Messianic Jew or something because I can't wrap my mind around whether or not I really believe in Christ's resurrection, even though I want to. It's too important not to.

I was raised in a Christian home, have believed in God all my life, attend a good church and home group, read the bible and pray daily and have experienced the voice and comfort of the Holy Spirit.

So what is with that ONE LINE, "if you believe in your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus died and was raised up again, you will be saved" that drives me to despair??? People talk about their problems in their walk and there is always someone saying, "well if you believe Jesus died and rose again, you're fine!" Always the IF. And it terrifies me, it gives me the absolute screaming horrors because WHAT IF I really don't or can't? Maybe some people actually can't and if that's the case, it's not my fault. :-(

MadamImAdaminChrist · May 1, 2015

I pray that you have further revealing from God to take away your doubts. That does not mean that unless you have a revelation from God, you are not saved or okay.

Is there any part of the resurrection that you struggle with particularly?

Leet · May 1, 2015

Thank you for the reply. I'm having a rough day and feeling like I'm doing everything wrong, not related to them subject at hand btw...

It's not that I think miracles and supernatural things don't happen. They certainly do and I've seen and experienced them myself. It's more the panic that I'm not assured in my mind because I'm too scared to unpack it. My mind flicks back over and over again, as with many OCD sufferers. (Hard to explain.) The thought of YOU MUST BELIEVE THIS OR ELSE is so full on that I can't even think clearly about it.

It doesn't help that I've had a lifelong fear of the Rapture that began when I was 7 or 8...And all Jesus meant to me was someone who would take everyone away and wreak revenge on earth. It's funny because more people struggle with the opposite - that God is some wrathful being and Jesus is meek and mild. I've always been the opposite, even though it's not rational, probably because my brain was scarred so young.

When I read the Bible, I feel my eyes trying to bore holes through the red letters, trying to absorb them and make them part of me. I don't feel right if my eyes run too fast over Jesus words or anything Paul for example, says about Jesus. As though I'm not "believing" or loving him enough. (Then I feel guilty about how silly and "religious" that seems.)

About 15 years ago, I had an experience when I was out shopping; I felt dry and oppressed inside and without thinking I sang, "Jesus, I am thirsty..." And immediately I was flooded with the Holy Spirit stronger than I've ever felt. I keep clinging to that because it reconciles the truth of Jesus in my heart, that he is every bit God and part of God. I feel like maybe the outpouring was so strong because He knew I would draw on it in years to come, even though my mind still tries to tell me otherwise.

No wonder OCD is called the Doubting Disease, it's ridiculous...

MadamImAdaminChrist · May 2, 2015

Yes, it really is a doubting disease. I have no doubt you have what is termed a "saving faith" in Jesus.

I have never been diagnosed with OCD. But in my worst moments of depression and anxiety. I became tormented by negative, foul thoughts that were unrelenting. So I have had a taste of OCD, what it must feel like to have it. How crippled and insecure and unsure of everything beyond "I exist" was. What I decided is that I trusted in these truths when I was feeling ok, feeling good, feeling bad even . . . through all those experiences--just not know, at my worst.

Now, I really wanted to have that kind of "faith in my faith" when I was at my most doubtful. But somehow it was ok that I could not because I had earlier in time for long moments of time. For me that was good enough, even though right now I could not be certain of anything. God had, at one time, give me the gift of faith, which he gives to every believer & I had been planted with the mustard seed of faith at one time. Just because there was a whole mess of junk around it at this time does not mean it was still not there.

GeorgiaGuyinAtlanta · May 2, 2015

If God can make the universe and all that it is in it, He certainly can raise himself from the dead.

Also consider the apostles and all who were there at Galilee who could testify that Jesus had been raised from the dead.

com7fy8 · May 2, 2015

"casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7)

MadamImAdaminChrist · May 3, 2015

Leet, if you are new to this forum, you should check out what gracealone (search for her name in the forums) has said about her battle and success over OCD. She seems very mature in her faith and her ability to handle her thoughts. She also has youtube videos under Mitzi Vancleve that are great.

For instance, people have told me to take every thought captive to Christ, but she explains how that can be counterproductive for OCD sufferer.

Check them out when you get a chance.

Leet · May 3, 2015

Thank you Adam, will do. I'm thinking she might be the Mitzi I've come across before on pages about scrupulosity/OCD.

OCD=Owie · May 3, 2015

I would recommend reading 1 John 3:13-22. Specifically, verses 19 and 20.

"We will know by this that we are of the truth, and will assure our heart before Him in whatever our heart condemns us; for God is greater than our heart and knows all things."
1 John 3:19-20 (NASB)

Before these verses, Christians are encouraged to love other Christians and not get wrapped up in worldly possessions. This verse suggests that being afraid that you aren't saved isn't some abnormal occurrence. For those of us that have fears that we're not saved, we can get encouragement in the fact that God understands that our heart (or feelings) can make us worry. Whether or not we're worried though, this will not affect whether or not we are saved.

Hope that at least gives some comfort. Before I got on medication and started to get my OCD under control, the fear that I was not saved was my strongest and most demoralizing OCD symptom. It was genuinely the hardest part of my life, and it came about when I was still a teenager. So you're definitely not alone here.

OCD=Owie · May 3, 2015

MadamImAdaminChrist said:
Leet, if you are new to this forum, you should check out what gracealone (search for her name in the forums) has said about her battle and success over OCD. She seems very mature in her faith and her ability to handle her thoughts. She also has youtube videos under Mitzi Vancleave that are great.

For instance, people have told me to take every thought captive to Christ, but she explains how that can be counterproductive for OCD sufferer.

Check them out when you get a chance.

I wasn't aware she had a youtube channel. I couldn't find it through google. Do you have a link by any chance?

MadamImAdaminChrist · May 4, 2015

Sorry, it was Mitzi VanCleve, not VanCleave as I wrote above (since edited)

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIp8TyGoPCD00hlcdUABe9w

kodadog1024 · May 19, 2015

25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.

27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” (Peter's doubt with Christ right before his eyes!)

29 “Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

32 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down.

My point of this part of scripture that you have these men, walking, talking, sleeping with Jesus, everyday, and yet, some STILL doubt Him. When we say mustard seed, it's a tiny pinch, but that mustard seed can grow fantasically large. Focus on Him, rather than your doubt, and in His time, He will reveal more and more of Himself to you overshadowing any doubt you may have.

Celticroots · May 20, 2015

Thank you for the link that was posted. I will check it out.

HannahElizaW · Jun 6, 2015

Leet said:
Does that mean you truly believe?

In a way, yes. That's basically the first start on the road, per se. Being saved and not being saved is all on the matter of accepting or rejection. In the beginning Adam and Eve basically rejected His word and went their own way. But believing most times is a matter of the will and the tricky part is sticking to it. You will always have doubts or voices or people telling you to quit it or to stop but following through will make you stronger.

HannahElizaW · Jul 7, 2015

I'm in the same boat you're in, I see, haha. From what I've experienced is to press on. I don't think either of us would really care if He wasn't drawing us in this sort of manner, to be honest; and that bit alone, I can garuntee you, I've wrestled with. One of my biggest fears was that: I care, I care now...but in the near future I might not care at all..

So I would pray about that, a lot.. usually prayer would suffice but sometimes reassuring yourself with Scripture helps too. For me it was mainly Mark 9:24 and Psalms 51:10 that kept me going..

Countryangel707 · Oct 15, 2015

Yes this is what I am feeling leet. It is horrible, just horrible.

If you DECIDE to believe in the death and res of Christ...

Active Member

Newbie

Active Member

Newbie

Regular Member

Well-Known Member

Newbie

Active Member

Newbie

Newbie

Newbie

Well-Known Member

Newbie

God Says It, THAT Settles It!

God Says It, THAT Settles It!

Active Member

Similar threads