Feeling low

klove2010 · Sep 13, 2014

I can't stand being depressed anymore. It feels like God is punishing me. Every month this has been going on ever since I was 17. It has been 5 years. I'm going to my nursing specialist in a couple of weeks and I can't wait to start on a new medication to help with my anxiety and depression. I have bipolar disorder btw and I'm on 25 mg of Haldoperidol an anti-psychotic that makes me dull and think unclear. I'm also on Klonopin an anti anxiety 0.5 mg for sleep. I'm kind of getting depending on that so I have to talk with my nurse specialist about it.

I haven't been manic for many months now and just been feeling depressed and anxious as well as avoiding and isolating myself. I have some thoughts of suicide and it's driving me nuts. I can't think straight.

I'm taking a class and told my teacher I'm bipolar but I'm not sure how she can be much help. Last month I was normal for 2 weeks and I would love to stay that way but for some reason my depression is taking a long time to go away. I feel like staying home a lot and been having social anxiety. I want to stay positive but in order for me to do that I have to find my purpose but I don't know what it is yet.

I try to pray but my mind is so cloudy, I don't know how to pray sometimes because it's hard to find the words. I'm really random and just typed out my thoughts and feelings. I hope someone can relate to me. :prayer:

Spunkn · Sep 14, 2014

Romans 8:26 In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words;

You don't need the right words to say and how to pray "correctly". God has you covered.

I've been there. It sucks. Went through hell for a good half of my life. But I'm still here, and God took care of me. I believe He will take care of you as well. It feels like God is punishing you, but He's not. He loves you. You are made in His image. Christ died for you.

I know that sounds cliche, but sometimes we have to remind ourselves of the truth.

The best advice I can give is don't let yourself go into isolation. You don't have to socialize all the time, but find at least one person you trust and talk to them fairly regularly. It still sucks, even with someone you know, but it's very important you have at least one positive person to be there for you when you really need it.

LoveHopeJoyPeace · Sep 15, 2014

Sometimes you don't have the words to pray but God knows how you are feeling and understands your illness.
At this point in your life it would be good to take things slowly one step at a time. Is there anything you can do that isn't too difficult for your mind. Painting/walking/drawing/gardening?
If you are feeling suicidal you need to tell someone, especially your doctor, there are also confidential helplines that you can ring if you need someone to talk to.

You are welcome to pm me if needed. I shall pray for you. God loves you

ToBeBlessed · Sep 16, 2014

Spunkn said:
Romans 8:26 In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words;

You don't need the right words to say and how to pray "correctly". God has you covered.

I've been there. It sucks. Went through hell for a good half of my life. But I'm still here, and God took care of me. I believe He will take care of you as well. It feels like God is punishing you, but He's not. He loves you. You are made in His image. Christ died for you.

I know that sounds cliche, but sometimes we have to remind ourselves of the truth.

The best advice I can give is don't let yourself go into isolation. You don't have to socialize all the time, but find at least one person you trust and talk to them fairly regularly. It still sucks, even with someone you know, but it's very important you have at least one positive person to be there for you when you really need it.

Great advice. We can't let ourselves slip into isolation because many times it is so hard to get back out.
http://www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/

abovetheclouds · Sep 17, 2014

I relate to the OP. I feel am being punished by God and He is afflicting this breakdown on me because He angry with me. I've suffered since age 7 and don't see a way out of the torment. Keep wanting the end to come except I'm afraid of Hell

KnowHisJoy77 · Sep 19, 2014

I want to give you a big hug! You are young and going throught that for a while. Praying for you, for your medical team to have good meds to help you! I pray that you do not go into isolation or thoughts of suicide or any other upsetting feelings.

God is for you not against you, that I know for sure without any doubt. I pray for grace and mercies upon you. I pray for wisdom, understanding and discernment from above to be yours when you ask for. I pray for the Holy Spirit of God to guide you as you yield to Him at every moment, at each new day before you. I pray that you live in the present, not in the past or the future. Today is the day God has made, walk in it! He is able to help you. I pray you trust Him and get into read and meditating a bible verse or a chapter daily to feed your spirit.

Blessings to you.

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klove2010

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LoveHopeJoyPeace

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