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Haven't heard from boyfriend

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CounselorForChrist

CounselorForChrist

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Nope. I felt as if text and email were sufficient enough.

It's now been 4 days. I received an email this afternoon. "I am fine. I am not very happy." I told him that was no excuse to shut me out for so long.

I know I sound harsh, but I refuse to be placed so low on the priority list (this has been going on for a loonnng time, and talking doesn't help).
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Everyone has their own view on breaking up. Its all personal preference. Talking in person is fine, but it can lead to various things such as a big public fight. Or feeling guilty and wanting to make up...etc.

However I do agree sometimes text messages can be taken out of context when someone doesn't see the emotions behind it.
 
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K9_Trainer

K9_Trainer

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I will say that since you feel there have been ongoing problems, it's very likely that he has too on his end, and he's feeling just as unsatisfied and/or neglected. His not talking to you isn't a sudden thing...It probably came as a result of negative feelings being bottled and building up.

I don't think this means the relationship needs to end...You've already invested a lot of time into it and it's clear you both care about each other. But it does mean you need better communication. A good heart to heart where there is an equal amount of talking and listening may help you both communicate the way you've been feeling the last few months or weeks, and find a way to fix it.
 
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quitespirit

quitespirit

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It was not long ago you were excited about marrying this man. Have ya'll sat down with a pastor or premarital counsel? As K9_Trainer said, you've invested a lot of time. Can this possibly be saved?

I'm still not sure why you won't pick the phone up and call this man. Why is text and email sufficient? I personally prefer to let the man take the lead and initiate, but when I have something to say, are having communication issues or if I am fighting for my relationship- I would pick up the phone. What's the point of counting the days til he calls and not take the initiative yourself? Is it a battle of the wills?

If you don't want to try and save this relationship, I can see waiting on him to make the call. Please be prayerful about this and make sure you won't have regrets looking back. Not long ago you couldn't wait to marry him.

I pray for God's guidance in your situation.
 
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somethingBEAUTIFUL

somethingBEAUTIFUL

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K9_Trainer said:
I will say that since you feel there have been ongoing problems, it's very likely that he has too on his end, and he's feeling just as unsatisfied and/or neglected. His not talking to you isn't a sudden thing...It probably came as a result of negative feelings being bottled and building up.

I don't think this means the relationship needs to end...You've already invested a lot of time into it and it's clear you both care about each other. But it does mean you need better communication. A good heart to heart where there is an equal amount of talking and listening may help you both communicate the way you've been feeling the last few months or weeks, and find a way to fix it.
Click to expand...

I called his brother tonight. He said basically the same thing, that we need to improve our communication. We've tried though, and keep hitting walls, or become lazy. ugh
 
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K9_Trainer

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somethingBEAUTIFUL said:
I called his brother tonight. He said basically the same thing, that we need to improve our communication. We've tried though, and keep hitting walls, or become lazy. ugh
Click to expand...

It's not easy :hug: Honestly, nobody is perfect at communicating. Even the most mature people on the planet don't always express themselves when they need to, or in a way in a way that they intend, or that is productive. And you are long distance with your man, which can make it even harder.

Have you thought about couples counseling? If you keep hitting walls, a professional, objective third party might be able to help to show you why you are hitting walls, and figure out how to get through that. It can help you learn how to communicate with each other too...You both might be seriously trying, but if the other isn't getting the message, you'll both end up feeling ignored or like the other doesn't care. It can be frustrating. It's like not being able to say what you mean to somebody.
 
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