I'm considering trying online dating again.

wannaberocker · Apr 8, 2013

Ethnog said:
When you ask that many girls out and they say no... Then that is totally normal. You are doing something very very very wrong.... Which has nothing to do with looks.

If i read correctly and if* you asked that many girls out then that's disturbing.

Yup,

What I was thinking was that as Mac said he has asked out most of his Female Friends. A good way to figure out what hes doing wrong, might be to ask them why they said No. I think being they are his friends, they might be honest about why they choose to decline his advances. Their input would hold a lot more value than anything we say.

Lilly Owl · Apr 8, 2013

MacFall said:
This is stupid, I know it's stupid, but I want to do it anyway. I just feel like I need to do something, and this is something.

Try to talk me out of it.

With all the news about cat fishing out there, good luck.

With all the news about people who have been stalked by serial killers via this method, God be with you. :o

Think of all the Trolls you meet in forums.
How's that not translate to potential at dating sites?
Vetting is one thing, but those with an agenda and plan can get through.

.Mikha'el. · Apr 8, 2013

You name a free site, and I'm on it. Never gotten me anywhere.

Strider1002 · Apr 8, 2013

Michael03101985 said:
You name a free site, and I'm on it. Never gotten me anywhere.

Then you should change something in the way you present yourself

MacFall · Apr 9, 2013

little_tigress said:
OK. This concerns me. You say you've asked hundreds of women out online and yet you've also said you've only ever had 2 responses from scam artists on any given website. That leads me to think that you're just messaging women immediately to ask them out without laying any kind of ground work.

Well, I'll have to amend my statement from "asking women out online" to "approaching women online".

Of course I don't ask them out without trying to get to know them. The first thing I do is ask a question or two about something on their profile. The second thing I do is, as of yet, purely hypothetical.

If you were truly happy with yourself and had a positive mindset that showed that you were confident and OK with who you are - that would have shown and people would have responded to it.

I was truly happy with myself and I did actually, as a matter of fact, have a positive mindset, and it did not help one bit.

If you really accepted yourself, you wouldn't have fallen to basing your worth on how women respond to you or how (un)successful your dating life is.

I don't base my worth on that. I know that I have plenty of worth, in other areas. But it turns out that my being good at some things and knowing some things and being valued by other people as a worker or helper or friend obviously does not translate into me being a desireable mate. I don't think I'm worthless, nor do I believe that other people think I'm worthless in general. But the fact remains that women specifically do not find me attractive, in spite of my general "worthiness". Whatever I have to offer is not what they are looking for.

Ethnog said:
You are doing something very very very wrong.... Which has nothing to do with looks.

Yeah, I know. Any hints?

I'm not sure it has nothing to do with looks. That's probably not the only cause, but I'm not prepared to discount it.

wannaberocker said:
A good way to figure out what hes doing wrong, might be to ask them why they said No. I think being they are his friends, they might be honest about why they choose to decline his advances.

"Because you're my friend, and I don't want to jeopardize our friendship." Or something along those lines.

"I'm just not interested in dating right now." Followed by her meeting a man who completely changes her mind about that soon after. Or the variation, "God doesn't want me to date anyone right now." Which has always preceded God changing his mind when she meets a man soon after.

"I'm just not attracted to you." Probably also applies to the other ones, too...

William II · Apr 9, 2013

bro i'm here to talk you out of it. i always appreciate your posts and think you're a pretty cool dude. you don't need some stupid online dating sites, far too many weird girls and trolls. i have a profile on plentyoffish, but it's a profile of a girl named josie that i use to troll dudes with every now and then

don't do it

wannaberocker · Apr 9, 2013

William II said:
bro i'm here to talk you out of it. i always appreciate your posts and think you're a pretty cool dude. you don't need some stupid online dating sites, far too many weird girls and trolls. i have a profile on plentyoffish, but it's a profile of a girl named josie that i use to troll dudes with every now and then

don't do it

Well that's one way to live out your homoerotic fantasies, pretend to be a girl on dating sites. Oh well whatever floats your boat.

Strider1002 · Apr 9, 2013

William II said:
bro i'm here to talk you out of it. i always appreciate your posts and think you're a pretty cool dude. you don't need some stupid online dating sites, far too many weird girls and trolls. i have a profile on plentyoffish, but it's a profile of a girl named josie that i use to troll dudes with every now and then

I at least respected your opinion until you mentioned that you troll people.

wannaberocker · Apr 9, 2013

MacFall said:
"Because you're my friend, and I don't want to jeopardize our friendship." Or something along those lines.

"I'm just not interested in dating right now." Followed by her meeting a man who completely changes her mind about that soon after. Or the variation, "God doesn't want me to date anyone right now." Which has always preceded God changing his mind when she meets a man soon after.

"I'm just not attracted to you." Probably also applies to the other ones, too...

NO I don't mean the generic reasons people use. I mean if you were to actually discuss the subject matter in detail with them. And try to figure out where you are going wrong.

Think of it this way. Lets say you ask out 10 women on CF that you consider friends and they all say "NO". Now clearly you doing something wrong , but you don't know what you are doing wrong. In order to figure it out you could ask them to be completely honest with you and tell you some things you could improve on. Things that would improve your chances in the dating world.

If these women really are your friends. THen they would most likely want to see you happy and dating. But of course you cant be all defensive about it because you may not like some of the answers they give ya.

That is prob the best way to figure out what you are doing wrong.

Messy · Apr 9, 2013

Let me take an uneducated guess about what went wrong. You forgot to pray for Mrs. Right and if it was God's will, time and place. If that's all good, I think it doesn't matter what you say or do.
I'd be glad if noone responds, except the one God eventually has for me. But I'm weird, so you don't have to listen to me.

MacFall · Apr 9, 2013

William II said:
i have a profile on plentyoffish, but it's a profile of a girl named josie that i use to troll dudes with every now and then

I think this calls for a Reddit stare.

ಠ_ಠ

Toro · Apr 9, 2013

William II said:
bro i'm here to talk you out of it. i always appreciate your posts and think you're a pretty cool dude. you don't need some stupid online dating sites, far too many weird girls and trolls. i have a profile on plentyoffish, but it's a profile of a girl named josie that i use to troll dudes with every now and then

don't do it

wannaberocker said:
Well that's one way to live out your homoerotic fantasies, pretend to be a girl on dating sites. Oh well whatever floats your boat.

That's always been my personal opinion of guys that do that as well. You can troll people without pretending to be female.

I personally have plenty of other things I would rather do than have dudes talk to me as if I were female..(like have my wisdom teeth placed back in my jaw and have them ripped out without morphine this time for example).. so its never made sense to do such things. :mmh:

William II · Apr 9, 2013

wannaberocker said:
Well that's one way to live out your homoerotic fantasies, pretend to be a girl on dating sites. Oh well whatever floats your boat.

Strider1002 said:
I at least respected your opinion until you mentioned that you troll people.

how does that affect my advice to the op? i was giving him a firsthand example of the dangers of online dangers. i haven't posted on josie in like 2 years. those were the days though

William II · Apr 9, 2013

one can troll for its own sake (aristotle) without being a troll by nature

Strider1002 · Apr 9, 2013

William II said:
one can troll for its own sake (aristotle) without being a troll by nature

Toro · Apr 9, 2013

I am bull, hear me snort ~ Toro T. Bull

William II · Apr 9, 2013

Strider1002 said:

thanks for the irrelevant pic

Strider1002 · Apr 9, 2013

William II said:
thanks for the irrelevant pic

No, no, no! All wrong. A good troll would at least pretend to appreciate the meme. You see, trolls work best when they can convince people that they're not really trolls. But by denying that the relevant pic is relevant, you've outed yourself.

Toro · Apr 9, 2013

Strider1002 said:
No, no, no! All wrong. A good troll would at least pretend to appreciate the meme. You see, trolls work best when they can convince people that they're not really trolls. But by denying that the relevant pic is relevant, you've outed yourself.

Rhye · Apr 9, 2013

MacFall said:
Yeah, I know. Any hints?

I'm not sure it has nothing to do with looks. That's probably not the only cause, but I'm not prepared to discount it.

Too strong, too fast, too much, too clingy....

But you have made that one of your biggest reasons instead of examining how you behave in situations. What you do and how you react/act says more then how you look on the outside. You might be a great looking guy Daniel, but your behavior makes you not very attractive. And if most girls think the way I do ( and most do) you become ugly by the minute, I don't care if you were a 15 when I first met you.

I'm considering trying online dating again.

Newbie

Since when is God's adversary a curse word here?

7x13=28

For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Agorist

Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job.

Newbie

For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Newbie

Well-Known Member

Agorist

Oh, Hello!

Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job.

Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job.

For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Oh, Hello!

Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job.

For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Oh, Hello!

Legend

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