I WANT to believe

What questions did you have? What are your hangups? I personally believe in God, and even if I weren't a Christian I would still believe in a god.

Prayer. Prayer that is urgent and genuine. Tell God you will not let Him go until He saves you and gives you assurance of your faith. Day in and day out, meditate on John 3:16, every word, every thought, and every syllable, until it's part of you and you can think of nothing else, and until He does what you ask.

Do not let up, ever.

cburden said:

I suppose my problem is specifically with Christianity and that the Bible is the Word of God. It is difficult for me to get behind something that on multiple occasions promotes mass murder, misogyny, and rape.

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Such as?

cburden said:

I feel as though if there is a God and he is good that the entire theology has become so twisted and distorted by humanity that it is far from what Christ had in mind as he laid the foundations for Christianity.

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Why? And have you looked into the origins and transmission of the New Testament?

cburden said:

I also get the impression that one's religion is arbitrary. Though there are of course exceptions, it seems that Christians are Christians because they were raised in a Christian culture. If one was born in an Arab country they would likely be Islamic, If they were born and raised in Hinduism then they would have faith in Hindu deities, and if one was born in Ancient Greece they would feel as strongly toward Zeus and Apollo as Christians do toward Christ today.

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And?

Hi there. I'd like to assure you that asking questions is a good thing, there is nothing wrong with healthy skepticism. I think that as you study the bible and learn more about life and the universe, you will come to a greater harmony between all facets of knowledge. I've been a philosophical type since I was very young, always exploring and trying to learn new things. Since I became a Christian I've actually learned a lot and have in no way shied away from exploration. Like you I had many questions, and I still have questions, but the more I learn and rely on the guidance of the Holy Spirit, the more confident I am in the reliability of the bible as God's word. Now I'll try to tackle some of the specific issues you raise.

It is difficult for me to get behind something that on multiple occasions promotes mass murder, misogyny, and rape.

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This is a loaded issue but I will try to sketch a summary of these objections. First, we must understand that we are dealing here with God, the very giver and sustainer of life. Yes, God kills people. The bible affirms that ALL human beings are fallen, evil, sinful creatures since the fall of man. Mankind has forsaken fellowship with God, the source of all good, and consequently we are by nature evil. So not only does God have the right to kill people, as the author of life, he is also just in doing so in light of the depravity of human nature.

Also keep in mind that God shows great patience in dealing with wicked people, giving them ample time to repent of their sins. Take for example the Cannanite nations the Israelites were commanded to drive out. These people had a habitual practice of rape, murder, incest, idolatry, even burning their children alive on alters before their "gods". This had been happening for a long time. The Israelites were enslaved in Egypt for 400 years, that's 400 years of time that God patiently gave these people to repent of their sins and turn to him; yet they only got worse. So God finally liberated the Israelites from slavery in Egypt and gave them the land these sinful nations had occupied, both as a promise to his elected people (the Israelites) and in judgement of the wickedness of the Canaanites. God commanded that these people be driven out, and they were. Any who remained were ordered to be slaughtered, so that Israel would not be corrupted by their evil practices. God is just in his judgements.

This is just one exposition of a small part of scripture, I suggest you undertake some serious biblical study of these areas you are having difficulty with. I will provide some links below to help you with this.

it seems that Christians are Christians because they were raised in a Christian culture

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I was raised a lukewarm Catholic and became an atheist by the time I was nine years old. I was an atheist for a decade before I got saved. So my upbringing really had nothing to do with it, I became a Christian after having a powerful personal encounter with God. There are many, many testimonies out there of people coming to God who had no religious background at all. The very people you would least expect to be Christian, in many cases, get saved. There is a real supernatural power behind Christianity, Christianity is not really a religion, it is a body of truths revealed by the spirit of the Living God.

At this point I almost feel as though God is the reason I am an atheist

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I greatly appreciate that you have been seeking God, I do, that shows that you are on the right track. However God is not the cause for your atheism. Our minds are corrupted by the power of sin, and in our natural state we are blinded to the evident truth of God. But God reveals himself in the very universe he created, the universe you take for granted.

The bible itself explains that scripture is foolishness to those who do not believe, because it contains truth that is spiritually discerned. Apart from the spirit of God its hard to make sense of. But the fact that you are seeking tells me that God IS in fact starting to move within you. I think your biggest hurdle to overcome is this false idea that the bible contradicts scientific knowledge and experience. There is a great deal of wonderful work that has been done revealing the consistency and compatibility of science and scripture. On top of this, there is a great deal of evidence showing the inspiration of the bible, such as fulfilled prophecy and the consistency of various types and idioms across the scope of scripture.

I'm gonna give you some links to some very helpful resources that should illuminate the intellectual viability of the historic Christian faith for you. I urge you to read through these resources diligently. Nothing is more important that your eternal destiny friend, so if the intellectual element is your biggest stumbling block, I want to make sure that you can get over that.

Also I highly recommend that you devote some time to bible study. If you are interested in delving into some in depth bible study, it will answer many of your questions and provide some stunning evidence for the inspiration of scripture. I would be happy to give some links to some exceptional bible studies on any and every book of the bible, just send me a PM, I'd love to help.

Here are some links I think you will find exceptionally helpful.
Defending Biblical Christianity | Reasonable Faith
Reasons To Believe : Where Science & Faith Converge
Evidence for God from Science
The Veritas Forum
Bible Questions Answered

After exploring all of this information, if you can agree that Christianity is an intellectually tenable position, I encourage you to explore the gospel of Jesus Christ. There is no more important message you will ever hear, your eternal destiny hangs on your response to it. Below is a particularly good exposition of the Gospel, I pray you will listen to it and I pray that God may move in your heart and convict you of your sin and your need of Christ. Repent and believe the gospel, and you will live.

Paul Washer, The Gospel. The most terrifying truth of Scripture... - YouTube

If you have any questions, or if you would just like to talk, I encourage you to PM me. I'd love nothing more than to talk with you one on one about these issues. Don't give up on seeking God, he is real, he is out there, he is not too far, and you WILL find him. I've been in your shoes and now I KNOW that he is real. Hit me up friend, I'd love to talk with you.

Have you thought to ask God why He has retracted?

Hi,

I will share my experience with God with you. They may help you see the reality of God. Go to Know God Personally it contains stories of God working in my life. I have included one of the stories here for you to read.

One morning I got up and walked into the hall and I heard a voice that I believed was God say "How would you like to be stabbed in the Valley". The Valley was known as the rough end of town, and the voice scared me a little, I wondered if I had done something to offend God. I had planned to go down to the Valley to ask people out to church as was my habit at the time. In the end I went anyway regardless of the fear. I walked up to the first person I met and asked him if he would like to go out to church. He said to me "I am an atheist, I don't believe in God". I just said "fine", but hoped to change his mind. He then proceeded to unbutton his shirt and showed me scar marks up and down his chest and stomach. He said to me, "I was attacked by a knife wielding man in the Valley some time ago and spent months recovering in hospital, How could God allow that to happen to me". Then I knew why God had said in the morning "How would I like to be stabbed?". God understood this man, but had a good plan for him. Some weeks latter this man came out to church and became a Christian.

Please do not expect miracles from this forum, one on one personal contact is best. You might want to find where the next Alpha meeting is taking place around where you live:

http://www.alphausa.org/Groups/1000065342/Guest_homepage.aspx
You can enter you zip and they can generate a list of locations.

If you are asking for “proof positive” (scientific evidence) for the existence of God there is none by design. God is not looking for you to acknowledge His existence. Trust is needed for you to help you accept God’s charity. No one likes to take charity, so humility is needed. The humility it takes to give up on self (our pride) and turn to depend on a benevolent Creator is enough humility to accept His charity.

cburden said:

Such as,
And honestly it is absolute confusion to me. The nature of God is unclear and always in contradiction. Is he benevolent and UNCONDITIONALLY loving, or is he a petty God that lashes out in anger and jealousy. If He was a supernatural omnipresent, omniscient, and omnipotent being then he seems that He would not be subject to such petty human emotions.


I dont know. I'm honestly not here to argue in anyway. I just want a reason to believe. Because when I believed before it was because it was comforting, that eternal paradise was waiting for me, that I had a "friend" that understood me completely. But now I can see that those aren't good reasons to believe at all, they are simply benefits of believing.

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Why is it bad “for God” to stop providing life to anyone and take that life away any way He wants:

Death is the way the innocent and trusting get to go home and the way the bad people quit doing bad stuff?

This world is not our home, but we do have an objective to satisfy while here.

I don't know if this will apply to you (I may have misread what you wrote), but when I was young I pursued God through texts (mostly the Bible) and got nowhere. God is not a God of texts - He is a God of Incarnation. I'm sure that that's probably not very helpful for you.

I remember feeling similar to how you do when I was an agnostic. I was extremely confused. My heart goes to you xoxoxo with all the religions in the world its easy to be confused and wonder. I recommend 2 books for you.

the first is called "Letters to a Skeptic" By Gregory Boyd.

The second is called "I Don't Have Enough Faith to Be an Atheist" by Norman Geisler and Frank Turek.

These books really helped me.

cburden, it sounds as if you are saying God is morally corrupt, but I don't think that is what you mean.

Each of us come to God and Salvation the same way; recognizing our lost estate.
I contend that you may be missing something. There are several verses dealing with sin and prayer.
Psalm 51:4 Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in they sight:
Psalm 41:4 I said, Lord, be merciful unto me: heal my soul; for I have sinned against thee.
These two verses indicate just Who is sinned against when we fail so miserably.

Psalm 66:18 If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me:
Psalm 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.
1 John 1:9 If [this is a word of condition] we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

The condition here for forgiveness is our confession. Once we confess our known sins, He also forgives us of any unknown sins [unrighteousness].


God has said He is not willing that any should perish, so why would He not want you? (2 Peter 3:9) Then he said; "but that all should come to repentance."


This last verse seems to be tying back in with the confession verses above. Perhaps you need to search out any leaven (sin) that might be in your life, as a starting point.

This is a good starting point for anyone who wants to have a dialog with God.

Next He tells us (Rom. 10:17) that faith comes by hearing the Word of God.
You indicate that you read the Word, but reading it with any sin confessed might make a difference for you.

cburden said:

I'm not sure where to go for spiritual guidance. When I was a child (12-16 yrs old) I felt as though I had a personal relationship with God. I would pray, read scripture, and trust Him without question. However, as the years passed I became increasingly uncertain of His existence at all. I would like to note that I never became involved with drugs or any substance that distorts your perception. If fact, I have never gotten into trouble of any kind. My true pursuit since I can remember has simply been gathering information and learning. I seek truth but it seems the more I do, the less convinced I am that God exists, or if he does that he is not benevolent. I would really like to believe in God again, but I simply cannot do this without a sincere conviction or good reason to do so. I have read the Bible many times in the past few years and the things I find tend to actually repel me. I know that people alone will not be my path back to God. And I assure you that I have for a long time I sincerely reached out to God himself and was very patient however He remains silent to me. Not even a stir in my heart. I am turning to the good people of this forum whom I hope may offer insight, advice, or compelling reasons to believe in God, because I WANT to. This is a sincere pursuit to restore my faith.

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What do you think about Jesus?