Reilly's Pub CCXXXVII C: The Beginning of A

krstlros said:

Just spent an hour and a-half doing reports.

My eye is twitching.

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Thank you though.

epiclesis said:

ugh. i'm having a rough morning.... and i just got up....

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Hope it gets better. I am tired. But I just bought a book to read in utero to the little one...so that is neat. Dr. Seuss: link


So that is really neat.

your wife is pregnant? congratulations

epiclesis said:

your wife is pregnant? congratulations

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Thanks...due June 29th. We even were lucky enough to get a picture at 8 weeks with the 4D ultrasound because they were off on the due date and wanted to be sure.

Eponine said:

*Yawns* Remind me again why I got up at 4:30 A.M...

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Sunlight threatened to attack in two short hours and you wanted to be ready?

cuuuuuute!! congratulations!!

so i feel really stuck in the middle of something

history: i have pretty much the best boyfriend ever. been together 10 months been friends for 4 yrs, close to engaged. etc... he and i just had issues for the first time last week and this week... and are working to resolve them appropriately.

have a kind of best friend. at least one of the more closer friends i do have. been friends for 7 years. history of ups and downs but we get through them.

she's only met my boyfriend once. so she doesn't know him very well.

so i was ranting to her this morning about just having issues with my boyfriend... nothing severe, nothing too detailed, and it wasn't all negative either. i mentioned how we were resolving it, etc.
she went on to say about how she's never liked him and the fact that we're having (a MINOR) issue... makes her dislike him more.

granted, i appreciate her honesty in one light... but in the other, she's met him once? i NEVER complain about him, EVER... and the one time i tell her this stuff, she goes out and tells me she never liked him and i should take this into consideration. I am not the type of person to be delusional and not think things through. I would not ignore seeing it as a real problem. and she tells me about basically how she hates my boyfriend and how he gets on her nerves.

ugh!! this was the friend i would choose to be in my wedding, and she comes at me with this?!?!

i don't even know how to feel about it... but then i'm stuck because usually i would talk to my boyfriend about stuff like this and he'd be hurt to find this out because he likes her... not just because she's my friend, but because of our relationship!

epiclesis said:

so i feel really stuck in the middle of something

history: i have pretty much the best boyfriend ever. been together 10 months been friends for 4 yrs, close to engaged. etc... he and i just had issues for the first time last week and this week... and are working to resolve them appropriately.

have a kind of best friend. at least one of the more closer friends i do have. been friends for 7 years. history of ups and downs but we get through them.

she's only met my boyfriend once. so she doesn't know him very well.

so i was ranting to her this morning about just having issues with my boyfriend... nothing severe, nothing too detailed, and it wasn't all negative either. i mentioned how we were resolving it, etc.
she went on to say about how she's never liked him and the fact that we're having (a MINOR) issue... makes her dislike him more.

granted, i appreciate her honesty in one light... but in the other, she's met him once? i NEVER complain about him, EVER... and the one time i tell her this stuff, she goes out and tells me she never liked him and i should take this into consideration. I am not the type of person to be delusional and not think things through. I would not ignore seeing it as a real problem. and she tells me about basically how she hates my boyfriend and how he gets on her nerves.

ugh!! this was the friend i would choose to be in my wedding, and she comes at me with this?!?!

i don't even know how to feel about it... but then i'm stuck because usually i would talk to my boyfriend about stuff like this and he'd be hurt to find this out because he likes her... not just because she's my friend, but because of our relationship!

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Tough one. I have seen things like that. My prayers.

Do you think she was trying to be supportive and read the situation wrong? Does not sound like that though.

Odd. Do you think she is jealous...sometimes people resent the time they lose with friends when relationships happen. If she recently had something happen that gave her more time in her life...that might have brought this on. Like did she have a break up, divorce or trauma that would have made her want more time with you and now this little spat with your boyfriend gave her jealousy a moment to show. Also could be a feeling of being displaced now that a male friend for 4 years has been elevated to more..it could be giving her worries about her place in the dynamic.

It is natural enough actually. But still difficult.

epiclesis said:

so i feel really stuck in the middle of something

history: i have pretty much the best boyfriend ever. been together 10 months been friends for 4 yrs, close to engaged. etc... he and i just had issues for the first time last week and this week... and are working to resolve them appropriately.

have a kind of best friend. at least one of the more closer friends i do have. been friends for 7 years. history of ups and downs but we get through them.

she's only met my boyfriend once. so she doesn't know him very well.

so i was ranting to her this morning about just having issues with my boyfriend... nothing severe, nothing too detailed, and it wasn't all negative either. i mentioned how we were resolving it, etc.
she went on to say about how she's never liked him and the fact that we're having (a MINOR) issue... makes her dislike him more.

granted, i appreciate her honesty in one light... but in the other, she's met him once? i NEVER complain about him, EVER... and the one time i tell her this stuff, she goes out and tells me she never liked him and i should take this into consideration. I am not the type of person to be delusional and not think things through. I would not ignore seeing it as a real problem. and she tells me about basically how she hates my boyfriend and how he gets on her nerves.

ugh!! this was the friend i would choose to be in my wedding, and she comes at me with this?!?!

i don't even know how to feel about it... but then i'm stuck because usually i would talk to my boyfriend about stuff like this and he'd be hurt to find this out because he likes her... not just because she's my friend, but because of our relationship!

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Sounds to me like she is behaving over protectively. Perhaps she has had you as her friend so long that she resents the time you spend with your boyfriend or the place you give him in your life. I would point out to her that you appreciate her friendship but that you have to give your relationship with your boyfriend precedence because you are serious about one another and one day he may even be your husband.

Tell her you would like her to make the effort to like him and also that it is good for you and your boyfriend to want to make the effort to resolve difficulties you have now. Some guys wouldn't be so willing to try and resolve things at this stage of a relationship (no formal committment) and its a good sign that he wants you both to work it all out so you can stay a couple.

If your friend continues with the negativity, it might be best to share with your fella that she has issues with him, but not until you have tried to get her to see that you want them both in your life and that you will make time for both of them. Hopefully all she needs is a bit of reassurance. (((hug)))

We used to be -uber- close. But she's at college now, in her second year, and since then, we've not been as close (by her choice), she's been busy, and has made friends. But I still think we're slightly closer friends than other ones she has.

I do think there's a hint of jealousy there. She has a history of like three very poorly thought out relationships and none of them successful. She had jumped into them, and they never worked for many reasons. She might be jealous that my relationship has been -successful- while none of hers ever were... She's not really into romantic kind of stuff, and she's not very excited to ever get married, so I'm not so sure to jump that she's jealous that I'm -in- a happy relationship.

I'm not even hurt as much that she doesn't like Mark. I realize that everyone won't like me in his world, and everyone won't like him in my world. And I'm okay with that.
I'm more upset that she -BARELY- knows him and jumps to judge him... and after the FIRST time talking about something negative in our relationship, and after about five minutes of talking about us, she jumps to say how she doesn't like him. It was like the second response she made in comment about us. Literally it was like she was waiting for the first possible second to throw that in there about how much she dislikes him!

I'm not that worried about it. My mom would be the first judgmental person in line about him. She's very critical, and judgmental, and picky. And if she didn't like him, I'd already have heard all about it. But she has spent more time with him than my friend, and she loves him and has expressed no concerns at all... and is actually asking questions about our future.

Good morning Pubsters.

Morning all.

Evening all (6pm here)

It's barely 8:30am here, and I'm read for a nap. 'Course, I started work at 5am, so I got up at 4am, which would give me an excuse to take a nap since I've been up for more than 4 hours.

Goodness me Krstlros, you get up really early for work! Crikey! And yes you are definately entitled to a nap!

yikes. i fell asleep on the couch last night. today is my day off... going to olive garden later with a friend.

Hellllllooooooooooooo?

Anybody home?

i dont think so *knocks on the door*