mother tries to humiliate son as punishment.

CrystalBrooke · Dec 3, 2008

GolfingMom said:
Some judges now do this as punishment...Instead of putting ppl in jail they have them stand outside with a sign and what they did written on it.

Last year I saw 2 different people standing outside of local stores holding signs that said "I'm a theif"...I think it's great. I say good for the mother..I see nothing wrong with what she did.

mont974x4 · Dec 3, 2008

I think it was very creative. Only time will tell how effective it was.

Personally? I would have spanked him and been done with it after making him officially apologize to the people involved.

Diane_Windsor · Dec 3, 2008

RadicallyTransformedMom said:
the kid was smoking and stole money from his aunt and stole a cell phone. He refused to apologize. The mom made him wear the sign that said "i am a liar and a thief" and stand on the corner with a bunch of traffic passing. The kid was in a warm winter jacket and scarf and hat with hood, he didnt freeze. I say good for her. This isnt a 5 yr old we are talking about here. this kid looked to be maybe 12 yrs old.

Good!

I wouldn't do that, but at least some parents out there are stepping up to the plate and are being responsible parents. This is not abuse. Putting a toddler in scalding hot bathwater (among other things my biological grandparents~may they rot in hell~did to their own children) is abuse.

Hadassah · Dec 4, 2008

gracepaints said:
Seems to me that all punishment is on some level humiliating. It is humiliating to be turned butt up over someone's knee and spanked. It is humiliating to have to cancel plans with friends because you are grounded. It's humiliating to write out sentences or stand in a corner or be in time out. I'm not sure how one can argue that one type of humiliation is okay and another is not.

Yep.

I could have easily been that child. I don't know if it was the undiagnosed celiac, the pain I was in monthly, or just temporary insanity -- but I would do the most outrageous things and nothing at one point was getting through. Had my parents sat me outside with a sign or something along those lines, I think they would have gotten through much sooner.

jessesgirl · Dec 9, 2008

RadicallyTransformedMom said:
the kid was smoking and stole money from his aunt and stole a cell phone. He refused to apologize. The mom made him wear the sign that said "i am a liar and a thief" and stand on the corner with a bunch of traffic passing. The kid was in a warm winter jacket and scarf and hat with hood, he didnt freeze. I say good for her. This isnt a 5 yr old we are talking about here. this kid looked to be maybe 12 yrs old.

I second this. Nothing like humiliation at its finest...to bring a guy around. I say if he was bundled up and didn't sufer frostbite....good for her.

Leanna · Dec 9, 2008

I do not believe this will work, it is more likely to harden his heart against his mom and lead to further rebellion. She made a poor choice and she will see the consequences.

CarrieAg93 · Dec 10, 2008

It just depends on the child. It definitely would have worked for me when I was a kid. When he's older and wiser he might actually thank her for making an effort to keep him on the right track.

jessesgirl · Dec 10, 2008

The thing about it is...he refused to apologize. This humbled him (hopefully).

ashley lynne · Dec 14, 2008

Personally, I wouldn't do that to my son, I think standing out in the cold is a bit harsh. I would, however, make him tell his entire family about what he had done and why he did and what he would do to fix it.
My son's only 7 months old, so I'm not really to that age yet. I can see the woman's point though, jail is much worse than standing outside in the cold wearing a sign around your neck.

jgonz · Dec 14, 2008

The more I think about this, the more I have to commend this mom for doing something out of the box with her son. If it's a choice between getting through to him now or him going to jail in a few months because he wouldn't listen to reason, then I say Go For It.

Moms4Christ · Dec 21, 2008

jgonz said:
The more I think about this, the more I have to commend this mom for doing something out of the box with her son. If it's a choice between getting through to him now or him going to jail in a few months because he wouldn't listen to reason, then I say Go For It.

I concur! Good for the mom for taking action before it gets worse as the child gets older.

My daughter stole a candy bar from a store once, she was about 5 years old. I made her take the candy back to the store, tell the security guard what she did and to apologize and she promised she'd never do that again. She was in tears when I made her do it. The security guard gave her a good talking to and my daughter has never done anything like that again.

Parents are too easy on kids nowadays, that's why the kids are ending up in juvenile hall and in prison as they get older. It's a total disgrace.

HeatherJay · Jan 5, 2009

gracepaints said:
Seems to me that all punishment is on some level humiliating. It is humiliating to be turned butt up over someone's knee and spanked. It is humiliating to have to cancel plans with friends because you are grounded. It's humiliating to write out sentences or stand in a corner or be in time out. I'm not sure how one can argue that one type of humiliation is okay and another is not.

I agree. =)

High five to all the other non-punitive parents out there. :clap:

Humiliating a child is never okay, in my opinion.

jessesgirl · Jan 5, 2009

Humiliating a teenager with no remorse with which non-punitive measures aren't working...is okay. Better to humiliate him than for him to wind up in jail and have no life beyond his teenage years because his mother "didn't want to humiliate him." Childnre need discipline and boundaries. She tried to just get him to apologize, he wouldn't and she made an effective decision on how to deal with it. I still say good for her.

WalksWithChrist · Jan 5, 2009

If I had done something like that and had the *gall* to not apologize for it...oh man. I don't even want to think about what would have happened to me!!
I wouldn't be alive to tell the tale, that's for sure.

I don't know if I would have opted for that route, but something needed to be done.

What would have been a better punishment?

But you know, I can't help but think about the parents on this. How have they brought their kid up that lets them think for a second they can get away with something like this? I realize that some kids really do have behavioral issues that extend beyond what a parent can do to correct, but still.

jessesgirl · Jan 5, 2009

Sounds t me like mom was doing the very best she can.

Linnis · Jan 6, 2009

This reminds me of a couple of my friends having to spend the night in jail. Not because their parents couldn't have gotten them out but because they wanted them to feel the gravity of the trouble they were in and in a sense 'scare' them straight.

Different things work for different kids.

I'm trying to figure out how my son feels humiliated in time out. I don't see it.

jessesgirl · Jan 6, 2009

Justin doesn't feel humiliated in time out, but it makes him ten times angrier than he originally was...and he doesn't get it. It helps him to calm down but we go through a LOT to get there. I think the all forms of discipline are punishment is more accurate for older than toddler age kids, kwim?

Linnis · Jan 6, 2009

I can see where you are coming from.

jgonz · Jan 6, 2009

Better to feel humiliated at some point than end up in jail.

Children need discipine, and if someone can figure out how discipline Doesn't involve some variety of humiliation, then I'd love to hear about it.

HeKnowsMyName · Jan 30, 2009

atlasshrugged said:
I don't have a problem with this considering the age of the child. I do know that although we do occasionally pop our two for certain offenses, we never do it in front of others. However, my son got into a really bad habit of cutting up when we had company or he had friends over. Finally I was like, "This is just not acceptable." so I started putting him in time out no matter if people were over or not. This is extremely humiliating to him to have to sit in his time out chair particularly when it's his friends who are over. And from what I can tell, it's been very effective.

I don't know how many times he's humiliated me with his behavior. And I don't see anything wrong with giving him a little taste of his own medicine. Imagine how humiliated this mom was when she found out what her son had done, particularly the stealing part. I just think it's giving him a little of his own medicine.

Excellant point!

mother tries to humiliate son as punishment.

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