A bad idea to date non-Christians?

Oh dear!! Test driving! You can't say that! Haha, how terrible...

dluvs2trl- I do realise what you are saying and it does make lots of sense. I suppose its just that if people like you and you like them it's nice to date! If I met someone absolutely awesome then that might be different, but I think usually its just a 'see how it goes' thing in a relationship before you talk about it becoming serious. I think the girls would run a mile if they thought I was immediately looking for people to marry, they just want to 'date' and nothing more in the beginning as well.

Well, you might just find your '66 Shelby Mustang on the first try.

You can discover most of them, but... it's harder.

Dating them will only tempt you to take the relationship further. Date only Christians.

If you become serious, you can not simpily make someone truely belive.

When a person becomes a Christian they are essentially saying my life is not my own any more it belongs to God to do as He purpose.

If it's God's plan for a person to get married then he does have certain guidelines/commands. With that being said and taken the verses that were already quoted here about being unequally yoke with unbelievers is not a suggestion but a command. 2 Corinthians 6:4-18
The concept of "yoke" gives you the key, you have to apply it yourself. A yoke was something that was put over two animals in a common enterprise, what Paul says in II Corinthians 6:14 is “Do not be bound together with unbelievers. For what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness? and what fellowship has light with darkness? And what harmony has Christ with Belial? Or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols?” Now, what it’s saying is if you are in the same yoke, pulling the same plow down the same furrow; that is, you’re working side by side in the same goals, and you’re yoked together with an unbeliever, you’ve got problems.

A christian shouldn't even date/court a nonbeliever. Too many use the excuse I can handle it (many times NOT true) or I will use our relationship to "get them converted" which is a VERY bad idea. (missionary dating) God is the one who does the saving not a person also it is too easy to get in the relationship and get emotionally attached to the unbeliever and it becomes to hard to break up. Also again it is breaking what God told christians not to do. We've all see people who supposely made commitments to God for the wrong reason not for the right one but just to get the guy/gal.
There has been a few who has after dating or marriage became christians but on the most part not. I know several women personally who are married to unbelievers and said if they had to do it over again they wouldn't have cause it has cause too many problems in their marriage. We even have a forum for unequal marriages and it's heart breaking to read some of it. The husband is suppose to be the spiritual leader of the home and if he is an unbeliever how is that going to happen? It's not.
No matter how "moral", "nice", "sweet" a person is, how can a unbeliever truly encourage a christian partner in their faith. Yes, couples will have differences but the core beliefs they should agree upon.
Marriage is a partnership that should be going in the same direction. If you have one believer and one not there will be conflict because the standard by which you operate is different.
In the old Testament, God had set his people apart and wanted it to be kept holy. That's why they couldn't marry out of Israel. God wants holy men/women who makes good decisions on who they make binding yokes/relationships with.

Too many christians first don't pray and seek God's wisdom in choosing relationships. Some thinks just because the person likes/loves them back that it's ok. Too many gets into relationships that should have NEVER happened and when problems come, wonder where God is and why he didn't stop it or do something about it. People forget that we have "free will". God doesn't force us into relationships it is our own choosing. It's sad when God gets blame for the bad decisions that we make and then we expect him to come clean up the messes that we leave because of bad decisions.



A good web article to read:
http://www.bible.org/page.asp?page_id=1274

Here's a question to throw out there, I don't know if it belongs in a different thread or not... but, what defines a non-believer? For example, what about if the person you're debating about isn't Christian, but perhaps they are Jewish?

LostSheepFound said:

I was just wondering what people thought about this? There are a couple of non-Christian girls who seem interested in me at the moment. I like one of them and I went out for dinner with her, but we're not dating yet or anything. Do the rest of you look for potential gfs/bfs amongst non-Christians or try to avoid it?
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it's not biblical to date a nonchristian

I don't think limiting yourself that much from the get go is a great idea. Just because someone isn't a christian at 20 doesn't mean they won't become one at some point. For me, going into dating with the serious mindset from the start of "this is a potential wife/husband" is counter productive. Enjoy the experience.

ulu said:

I don't think limiting yourself that much from the get go is a great idea. Just because someone isn't a christian at 20 doesn't mean they won't become one at some point. For me, going into dating with the serious mindset from the start of "this is a potential wife/husband" is counter productive. Enjoy the experience.

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not biblical. what purpose does recreational dating serve?

I just don't want to be unyoked
And lose whatever I have with God
As that would be my main concern!

Christians should only date other Christians. In addition to the command not to be yoked with unbelievers, a lot of non-Christians wind up farther from the Lord after their experiences with dating Christians - particularly when the Christians in question get over their backsliding and realize it's either God or their SO. It's very unfair to the unbelievers involved. Besides, would you want someone dating you to change you?

ulu said:

I don't think limiting yourself that much from the get go is a great idea. Just because someone isn't a christian at 20 doesn't mean they won't become one at some point. For me, going into dating with the serious mindset from the start of "this is a potential wife/husband" is counter productive. Enjoy the experience.

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I agree.

ryanb6 said:

not biblical. what purpose does recreational dating serve?

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I, personally, don't like to have it be sooooo serious dating. For me, dating is a way to get to know a person, sometimes the person just ends up as a good friend, not a love interest......but, I am a better person for having met that friend and having them in my life.

But, those are just my feelings about dating.

Should it even be a question? What's the benefit? Missionary dating?

Christians should only date Christians
Keep each other accountable
Make sure that they won't fall prey!

Bah. If your faith is weak enough to be questioned from the influence of someone else, good riddance.

ryanb6 said:

not biblical. what purpose does recreational dating serve?

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What purpose does playing soccer have, or talking to a friend about a dream, or swimming in a lake on a sunny day, or playing chess with someone you don't know well, or going to see a comedian? Good luck finding peace or enjoyment in life if everything you do must have a purpose or goal.
Also, which verses make you think dating (without intending to marry the person) is not biblical? (unequally yoked is talking about marriage)

LostSheepFound said:

I was just wondering what people thought about this? There are a couple of non-Christian girls who seem interested in me at the moment. I like one of them and I went out for dinner with her, but we're not dating yet or anything. Do the rest of you look for potential gfs/bfs amongst non-Christians or try to avoid it?
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I dont think i could date someone who didnt put Christ 1st in there lives. I love my Lord and couldnt reject him for anyone.

My parents were different..

My father was a Christian..
My mohter wasn't..

They got married and surely they did struggled but in the end result my mother became a Believer in the Lord as well as Me..

Soo it does have its troubles but you never know what the Lord has in restored for you to be honest

God Bless,
Drew

What defines recreational dating? Does any thing happen that's romantic? If so, then you are playing with the other person's heart as well as your own. You are putting yourself in a place where you could do something you shouldn't. .......=not smart

Dating someone recreational can cause them to attach affections to you that shouldn't be. I don't think we should play with another person's heart like that but help protect it as much as possible. We can't always help when someone attaches feelings but we shouldn't cause it on purpose.

There's a forum here that set up for unyoked marriages too. Seeing the hurt I have with women in my area who marry nonbelievers isn't a good thing. There's a lot of heartaches and problems having to deal with it. Sure some might become Christians after marriage but at what expense?

Also just because someone from the other gender comes in our lives doesn't mean we are suppose to "date" them but to be used as an opportunity to share the gospel of Christ with them.

amen

ChristianDrew said:

My parents were different..

My father was a Christian..
My mohter wasn't..

They got married and surely they did struggled but in the end result my mother became a Believer in the Lord as well as Me..

Soo it does have its troubles but you never know what the Lord has in restored for you to be honest

God Bless,
Drew

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I agree with ChristianDrew. My parents were not both Christians when they were married. My mother was a Christian and my Dad was raised Jewish, but during a period of time after their marriage, my Dad was saved and became a Christian.