do not post anymore i took your advice however it did not give any help at all. and if my difficulties in life are complaints to you then all the more reason for you to not post
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Kristen.NewCreation and FreeinChrist
i have given up
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Please don't give up, we need our moms 
They were God to us until they lead us to God but the feelings is the same even if we don't act it always
Im sorry I can't help and ill talk anytime though..if there was anything I could do
don't forget its ok to be angry too
hug
Livey
They were God to us until they lead us to God but the feelings is the same even if we don't act it always
Im sorry I can't help and ill talk anytime though..if there was anything I could do
don't forget its ok to be angry too
hug
Livey
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IisJustMe
He rescued me because He delighted in me (Ps18:19)
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But if you truly took "my advice" you wouldn't be having difficulties, because it wasn't "my advice" but the counsel of Christ repeated. "My advice" to you, if you will review it, was simply "Turn to him, sister, and be comforted." That was preceded by an exposition of Psalm 18 in which David recounts God's deliverance of him from his enemies, despite David's disobedience and sin in the process of trying to escape them himself. My favorite verse in that Psalm is # 19: "He brought me forth also into a broad place. He rescued me because He delights in me." It was "my advice" to trust in God and lean on him. Your next post was eight and a half hours later, and while I don't doubt you could seek God in that time, you certainly didn't give Him enough time to work in your life. The next hurdle you faced you turned to yourself instead of to Him.
So, you wish me not to post? Fine, I won't. But at least, next time in face of strife and turmoil, take "my advice" and don't count on your own strength, please. Good bye, have a nice life, and may God fully bless you.
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things are beginning to become old. it starts to improve then then the next thing i know it all goes downhill again. i need some time to myself and i can't get any. husband has been promising it for about two weeks and it has not happened yet and i just can't take anymore
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Good luck!
Just some advice:
I do the same thing all the time; when things are OK, you start thinking about how it's all gonna go wrong any minute now...
Try to avoid this...sometimes just getting through the day is victory enough.
Just some advice:
I do the same thing all the time; when things are OK, you start thinking about how it's all gonna go wrong any minute now...
Try to avoid this...sometimes just getting through the day is victory enough.
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i actually don't think of hoiw it could go wrong most of the time i am greatfull that it is going good and praying to the big guy that he will allow it to stay that way
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Dear Super Mom,
I recommend going to the web site
http://www.meetup.com
Find a group on playing pinnochle, or a book club. I like going to a philosphy club in Orlando Florida. This web site makes a record of people who are looking for things to do. There could even be a natural historic museum that people like to go to. Make sure you got something fun to do, it makes life more bareable.
I recommend going to the web site
http://www.meetup.com
Find a group on playing pinnochle, or a book club. I like going to a philosphy club in Orlando Florida. This web site makes a record of people who are looking for things to do. There could even be a natural historic museum that people like to go to. Make sure you got something fun to do, it makes life more bareable.
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for you
i just found out straight from my husbands mouth that he has everything in place to start a divorce yet he says he doesn't want one, now i really have given up
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Dear Super mom,
That sounds bad, maybe you could tell him "if you want to make this marriage work, you got to try to make it work." Maybe you could talk to a marriage counselor and explain to the counselor and to your husband.
and tell them "I don't want to commit sexual abandoment, you have needs and I have needs, but I need to know that the person I sleep with is supportive of me. So until you shape up and tell me you want to make this marriage work, we're not having sex. You got to want to make this marriage work for that. I enjoy having sex with you, I like it a lot, but if you're just ready to kick to me to the curb here your not getting any."
Then tell him in your own words, "we need solidarity, we have been through a lot, we have paid a lot of bills we are raising two children that need us. Sometimes life sucks and you may be in an unhappy marriage but I can help make this more pleasent for you, but you got to help make it more pleasent for me. I don't want to be mad at you here. Look at all these bills we got to pay, it is just you and me against all those bills. We can pay them and keep that phone from ringing. Let's face it if we get divorced it would be hard for you to not go bankrupt. So you maybe scared right now, but I don't know why you would be putting things in order for a divorce, do you want out? We can make this work if we try."
What ever you tell him, just try to like speak from your heart when trying to convince him to make the marriage work. Just let all the stuff you got to talk about come right out as pleasent as you can say it. Like have actual actions to be tried, like him taking care of the dog, or doing more around the house whatever the case maybe, or talking to a counselor.
I wish you luck with your marriage, I hope it works for you.
That sounds bad, maybe you could tell him "if you want to make this marriage work, you got to try to make it work." Maybe you could talk to a marriage counselor and explain to the counselor and to your husband.
and tell them "I don't want to commit sexual abandoment, you have needs and I have needs, but I need to know that the person I sleep with is supportive of me. So until you shape up and tell me you want to make this marriage work, we're not having sex. You got to want to make this marriage work for that. I enjoy having sex with you, I like it a lot, but if you're just ready to kick to me to the curb here your not getting any."
Then tell him in your own words, "we need solidarity, we have been through a lot, we have paid a lot of bills we are raising two children that need us. Sometimes life sucks and you may be in an unhappy marriage but I can help make this more pleasent for you, but you got to help make it more pleasent for me. I don't want to be mad at you here. Look at all these bills we got to pay, it is just you and me against all those bills. We can pay them and keep that phone from ringing. Let's face it if we get divorced it would be hard for you to not go bankrupt. So you maybe scared right now, but I don't know why you would be putting things in order for a divorce, do you want out? We can make this work if we try."
What ever you tell him, just try to like speak from your heart when trying to convince him to make the marriage work. Just let all the stuff you got to talk about come right out as pleasent as you can say it. Like have actual actions to be tried, like him taking care of the dog, or doing more around the house whatever the case maybe, or talking to a counselor.
I wish you luck with your marriage, I hope it works for you.
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we already don't have sex and have not had it for a long time and he won't do it anymore. and everything that you have said here i have done and more however thanks for your advice. he says he doesn't want a divorce however he has done the lineing up to get it started i am confused
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That is sad I don't even pretend to know what to tell you.
I think a lot of people just got this attitude that they can find anybody and start a relationship with the elusive somebody else. I mean I can barely get women to pay attention to me. I mean I have lived in Florida for one year now and I don't have any friends my own age. I hang out with retired people and shoot pool.
I have tried going to the bar and talking to people, but they pretty much just shoo me away after I get their attention.
Well you might want to talk to an attorney and find out how you would get alimony from him if he did decide to divorce you, make sure it isn't a messy divorce, and I hope your marriage works but be ready for if it doesn't. And don't sign a post nuptial agreement, take him to court and win money from him, that is probably in your best interest.
I think a lot of people just got this attitude that they can find anybody and start a relationship with the elusive somebody else. I mean I can barely get women to pay attention to me. I mean I have lived in Florida for one year now and I don't have any friends my own age. I hang out with retired people and shoot pool.
I have tried going to the bar and talking to people, but they pretty much just shoo me away after I get their attention.
Well you might want to talk to an attorney and find out how you would get alimony from him if he did decide to divorce you, make sure it isn't a messy divorce, and I hope your marriage works but be ready for if it doesn't. And don't sign a post nuptial agreement, take him to court and win money from him, that is probably in your best interest.
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IisJustMe
He rescued me because He delighted in me (Ps18:19)
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"Super Mom", you have fished around, and made one excuse after another, you've "already done this" or "already tried that" and I suspect ultimately that is your reaction because no one has told you what you want to hear, i.e., what you have already decided you are going to do. You are looking for someone to say, "Your husband is a jerk, leave him and find another man who will make you happy."
Christians aren't going to say that to you, at least not the ones that understand where you're coming from. I know why you didn't want me to post anymore: I gave you too much "truth" and you don't want that. You want an excuse, and permission to have your own way.
I said you remind me of the lame man at the pool at Bethesda, who, when asked by Jesus, "Do you want to be healed?" rather than answer, gave an excuse as to why it wouldn't work. That is all you have done throughout this thread. You don't just "remind" me of the lame man, you are the lame man! You have already decided what you want, you refuse to hear advise or wise counsel that would give you Jesus' peace, so why are you still here?
Just go do it. And pay the consequence. Or heed the wise counsel and preserve your family. Your choice. But stop posting here when you won't listen to anything anyone has to say that could help.
I say this in love, even if it doesn't sound like it to you. I urge you, look at where you're at and what you're on the edge of doing to your life and the lives of your children! We are just about as happy as we choose to be. Abe Lincoln said that ... and he was a Christian. Seek Christ. Be healed. And help heal your family.
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Sometimes marriages fail, and it is so sad when they do.
It is the end of a dream that died a long time ago. When people are at that alter taking their wedding vows, and the say "until death do we part," they don't even know what they are talking about, because you don't know what you will do later down the road when you are there.
Some marriages fail, it isn't the kids fault, it isn't Super mom's fault, it isn't the husband's fault. There getting to a point here where the knot of divorce is being pulled really tight by the husband, and sooner or later Super mom is going to pull on the other end of the rope tightening the knot so tightly that neither person will be able to untie the knot of divorce. Figuratively speaking.
So you may want to talk to a divorce attorney and make sure you don't sign a post nuptial agreement. You want to be able to win as much as you can in a divorce settlement.
Hang in there maybe it will get better, and please keep us posted. I hope it works out.
It is the end of a dream that died a long time ago. When people are at that alter taking their wedding vows, and the say "until death do we part," they don't even know what they are talking about, because you don't know what you will do later down the road when you are there.
Some marriages fail, it isn't the kids fault, it isn't Super mom's fault, it isn't the husband's fault. There getting to a point here where the knot of divorce is being pulled really tight by the husband, and sooner or later Super mom is going to pull on the other end of the rope tightening the knot so tightly that neither person will be able to untie the knot of divorce. Figuratively speaking.
So you may want to talk to a divorce attorney and make sure you don't sign a post nuptial agreement. You want to be able to win as much as you can in a divorce settlement.
Hang in there maybe it will get better, and please keep us posted. I hope it works out.
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IisJustMe
He rescued me because He delighted in me (Ps18:19)
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Christians do not throw up their hands and say "Oh well, it didn't work. We can't fix it. Let's get out of it." At least they're not supposed to. What they are supposed to do is turn to Christ for healing. Not do as Super Mom has done, or as being advised not just by you but by others, which is to refuse good biblical advice in favor of hearing only what they want to hear, which is what this post has given her. If there was abuse or threats, that would be one thing. But the problem seems to be nothing more than lack of communication and a refusal to abandon each person's personal agenda in favor of a "one flesh" attitude that is supposed to be present in every marriage, or else why did the couple bother marrying in the first place?
Sorry, but this simply isn't true. Divorce is always someone's fault, though it is never the kids fault, for sure. The fault lies at the center of a selfish heart, be it Super Mom or her husband, and probably two such hearts. I know my last response to Super Mom probably seemed harsh to some, but it was true, and if you look back at her responses to good solid advice throughout this thread, you'll see, she didn't want to hear any of it. Instead, each post was a complaint that it was getting worse, seemingly by the minute. That's a true indication she already has her mind set, she just hasn't seen anyone give her permission to act on it yet. Now you've given it to her, so now she has the human justification she wants to go against God's will for any marriage.
Let me assure everyone, this is nothing more than I would say to any couple that came to my office seeking counseling for a marriage that was in the same place, and I've seen a lot of them. I've seen a lot of couples who have the "I've-already-got-my-mind-made-up-I-just-want-you-to-tell-me-it's-OK" attitude displayed by the OP throughout this thread., and what I've said to her, I've said to others. Sometimes the "in-your-face-with-a-mirror" approach is the only way to get their attention.
Since when is any marriage about "Show me the money?" How can we justify showing the worldly attitude of "I'm gonna get mine" while shattering the God-given sanctity of a marriage, the oneness of flesh we vowed we would become but have now forsaken for our own self-generated "peace" and our own selfish interests?
I pray she hangs in there and it does work out, but not through divorce -- through the healing power of Jesus Christ.
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Greetings Supermom,
I'm going through much the same thing, tears on the keyboard
doubting thomas has wisdom beyond his years, first priority for your children is as he said is you must survive,
you must take a snippet of time here and there to read a brilliant book or a fab music video, I really love blondie singing Denis but there are others, Pink 'Who Knew' has a parallel to what you are going through.
and everyone has a focus in their life, a reason for waking up, and it will have to be your children, after your husband said 'you are going before the dog' that is the end and he has to be removed from your focus.
I've been married 27 years with 3 children. My wife threw me out for basically not having a good enough job and disturbing her when I leave to go to work at 6 AM. I pay lots of tax over here in England and the government pays her a large amount because it is calculated by household income to help single mothers and she found she was better off as a single mother with me also having to pay her child support even though the children are with me right now as every weekend. I'm doing my best to help my children get sensible sleeping hours, their homework done, and as a qualified science teacher I help them get ahead and understand the basic nature of the universe and how to use formulae. We are also watching Carl Sagan's Cosmos series right now and have read Harry Potter. But I have the government against me and the wife as well.
Your situation is the exact opposite in the US, it is better to be male there or female here.
I hope you survive mentally, things will not always be as they are.
I'm going through much the same thing, tears on the keyboard
doubting thomas has wisdom beyond his years, first priority for your children is as he said is you must survive,
you must take a snippet of time here and there to read a brilliant book or a fab music video, I really love blondie singing Denis but there are others, Pink 'Who Knew' has a parallel to what you are going through.
and everyone has a focus in their life, a reason for waking up, and it will have to be your children, after your husband said 'you are going before the dog' that is the end and he has to be removed from your focus.
I've been married 27 years with 3 children. My wife threw me out for basically not having a good enough job and disturbing her when I leave to go to work at 6 AM. I pay lots of tax over here in England and the government pays her a large amount because it is calculated by household income to help single mothers and she found she was better off as a single mother with me also having to pay her child support even though the children are with me right now as every weekend. I'm doing my best to help my children get sensible sleeping hours, their homework done, and as a qualified science teacher I help them get ahead and understand the basic nature of the universe and how to use formulae. We are also watching Carl Sagan's Cosmos series right now and have read Harry Potter. But I have the government against me and the wife as well.
Your situation is the exact opposite in the US, it is better to be male there or female here.
I hope you survive mentally, things will not always be as they are.
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