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I need prayer - HOCD sufferer

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Lilulu

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hi everyone. I have been dealing with HOCD which is a type of OCD that deals with the fear of becoming gay. I've been struggling for a couple months now and am so depressed. I have always been confident in my sexuality as a straight female. I saw an Oprah show about a married woman who suddenly turned gay even though she grew up liking boys. Ever since I've been terrified that I will become gay or somehow am gay and just don't want to accept it. I have always been attracted to guys and never had any want or attraction to other girls. I'm so scared. I'm seeing a therapist but I don't feel better. If anything it seems like I am getting worse with time. I'm praying all the time, but I still feel so hopeless. I know God didn't make me gay and I know benig gay is wrong. I just can't convince my head of it. I'm tired of feeling so sad and disgusting. Can anyone give me any uplifting advice? I'm desperate for some hope. :cry:
 
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Bianca01

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Hi Lilulu,

I saw the same Oprah show. It wasn't a good show to watch. And I can understand how that would feed your HOCD. So, advicewise, I would say turn the channel. I will too, because Christians really shouldn't watch programs that promote that type of lifestyle.

You wrote that you are seeing a therapist, but, you feel worse. Are you uncomfortable with this particular therapist or are you at a stage in your therapy where some difficult things are being worked on? If it's the first part please look for another therapist. Otherwise, stick it out and work through it. Sometimes therapy is hard.

It's obvious you aren't gay and that you don't have to worry about "turning" gay. And I do understand that these thoughts just won't seem to leave.

Take heart. There are a lot of good people in this forum. So you've come to the right place.

I will be praying for you as I am sure others will too.
 
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treasures

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Lilulu,

The intrusive thoughts of OCD always seem to be about our worst fears. The way media promotes gay as being okay it's no wonder there is this form of OCD. Oprah sure has strayed off the Christian path with that show you're talking about. I agree, stick with therapy even if you need to find another therapist. By the way, is this therapist Christian?

Hang in there. Try to eliminate any stressors as stress does contribute to the whole OCD picture. I will pray for you. Please join our Group Prayer if you like. We pray for each other in our own time zones at noon, 7pm and/or midnight.

Take care of you.

:groupray:
 
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seajoy

seajoy

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Lilulu,

You have ocd....not a problem with turning gay. Does your therapist know how to help you learn exposure/ response therapy? As that is what you should be doing to help you get better.

Talk therapy can help with many things in mental health (which you should also keep doing), but for ocd, it's the type of therapy I mentioned above that is needed. You see, the more you are reassured, the more the cycle of ocd continues. That is a hard concept for we ocd'ers.

Trust me...I did the therapy, and am rarely bothered by my religious ocd any longer. Anybody can do this....you can too! :hug:

I will pray for you.
God bless,
seajoy
 
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polishmanmike

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turning gay is a choice, ppl say differntly but just like ppl have tendencies to steal, kill, rape, molest, lie, so on and so forth, they have choice not to choose the lifestyle, a lot of the stuff is Spiritual, i used to fear of turning gay, i was convinced I was gay, but u know what I am not, u r not, and miilions other ppl who think that arent eaither, satan uses same tricks on all of us and tries to make us seem like we re alone, well ur not. Trust me I went through that, plus devil wants to immobilize all of us so we become stagnant Christians just living Sunday to Sunday with hope to go to Heaven one day, plus look at the Word of God, read first Chapter of Romans, see why those ppl turned gay...they exchanged thr Truth about God and worhiped other things rather than Creator, I dont believe that person just wakes up gay one day not knowing why, remember that we battle not the flesh and blood but principalities, God cares about u and wants u free! Lord please help us all to repent and worship u and only u LORD Jesus Christ!
 
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Lilulu

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thanks everyone for all your words of support. It really makes me feel comforted to know that some of you will be praying for me. I know if I can just trust in God He will lead me out of this suffering. Deep down I know I am not gay, its just that sometimes the thoughts just become to much and too convincing. My therapist only does the talk therapy, I'm trying to stick it out with her but maybe I do need to consider another therapist. I'm actually not sure if she is a Christian but she insists that she believes being gay is a choice so at least she seems to share my convictions. Anyway, I just want to say thank you again. I will keep striving to win the battle of OCD I know it'll be hard but I'm going to just put my faith in God and try to stay positive.
 
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Ruukasu

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When confronted with sexual immoral thoughts, i use these scriptures for help:

Galatians 3:28 (Whole Chapter)
There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

There is no greater thing we can do than serve Christ in sincerity, and if that is your focus, and you are not planning on being with anybody, but give your life to God, then no worries about being gay when there is neither male nor female, no sexual immorality, only love for all people as you love yourself. Put sex aside and give your life to God! Why not? I will pray for you tonight. Try to stop focusing on flesh all together, completely change your view. It's not about marriage, it's about love for Christ.
 
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