damaged goods

Wow, that's pretty messed up that your class mates are saying things like that, shoot, when I was in college, seems like my fellow class mates were more mature than that. Anyways, it's the thoughts, the lies, what's so bad about it. Is that not only is satan trying to get you to destroy yourself, but he's then getting you to believe that it's God who is neglecting you. Sounds like satan is having a hay day. Like I once told a girl who had severe mutilation problems (I work in a psychiatric hospital)- after she said how worthless she was- I told her "that is a lie from the pit of hell". The problem is the lies that satan is getting you to believe, he's whispering these thoughts in your ear and getting you to think they are your own thoughts. You may be taking steps to overcome this- but do you think he is going to let you go that easy? It's the mind that has to be renewed, you have to fill it with truth if you want to ever be happy- because this has been a weakness for you, satan will use it over and over and over again against you until he no longer has power over you in that area, and like I said, your mind needs renewing with the word of God. Wow, you are making so many positive steps it sounds like- good for you- you are a strong woman!! I mean that. Now, you're going to have to get even stronger if you are going to have a different life, read the bible, memorize- write on memory cards the scriptures that minister the truth to you- like about God's perfect love, and how he is good, and does good to us, and holds us in the palm of our hands, and how we are his children and how he takes care of the needs of his children- if you are waiting for a feeling to come, or circumstances to change to believe what God's word said, than you are putting your trust on something shakeable. This is an opportunity to build even stronger character, oh, you'll be so grounded in God. It will seem pointless at first, satan will say "this is useless, I never was nothing and will never be anything". Well, there are scriptures that counteract that lie, such as eye has not seen nor ear heard what God has planned for those who love him and are called according to his purposes. You have to keep doing that and keep doing that. Once you get the faith down in your heart, and satan know's he can't deceive you or have power over you through his lies, he'll leave- his power will be broken, and you'll feel so great. You'll get happier and happier layer by layer. But this is going to take time and practice, and learning all the lies, you see, we ourselves are weaker than satan and could not overcome his whiles on our own accord, but God is bigger, and he'll make the lies known to you. Oh, I've had to do this myself. And I have so much more freedom, oh, and i'm so grounded in God's love now. And my confidence is in him. You see, God doesn't want you putting your condidence in another person (Ed), in my own life these last few years, I have experianced soooo much lonliness. And I went through a time when my own hubby didn't understand me, my best friend didn't care about or understand me, there was no one, even though I had ppl in my life, no one was really there for me like I needed them to be. And I'd pray about these relationships in my life. And God began to show me that this was a time for my confidence to be rooted and grounded in him. Because ppl are imperfect and will let you down. But God is perfect and will always be there. So start focusing on the positive, quote the truths that you know about God, quote the good things that the bible says about God, and it'll become easier and easier over time. The lord says "my yoke is easy, and my burden is light", unlike the enemy will try to get you to believe. Oh, if you read, please get this book, it is sooooo good, "BATTLE FIELD OF THE MIND" BY JOYCE MEYER (can get it from walmart probably) and I think everybody should have a copy, I gave mine to the girl who was mutilating where I work, she got saved and quit mutilating while she was there, God was working in her heart- I don't know how she is now, probably still struggles with things- not everything happens over night, takes a while for things to get rooted. But you are on a road to hope and greater blessings, just because you are a christian, it'll get better and better throught the years, months, however long it takes. keep seeking the lord girl. I am defenetely adding you to my prayer list.

urbanfaerie said:

no, i'm sory. i was just being a *****. twisting words n all, i figure if i can get someone who was once my best friend to hate, me, i can be a punk up i here and have the rest the world hating me as well. its hard for me to accept there are nice ppl out there. cuz all around me, i run ino the not so nice ones..heh..including myself. i now u all are warm hearted, and real and whatnot.. it just that, its hard for me to understand why, i can't comprehend the generiosity and loving atmosphere i've run across on here. i mean, in my world, that just don't exist. so i figure if i shake it off, turn into the snake, the cold hearted ***** i really am, i can go back to being that hopeless case,who had no reason to shine, no reason to live, and every reason to hate. i've grown alot since i came to CF, alot of ppl here hve really helped me see things differntly. and yea, i gotta admit, that new light, its scary. what if it trns out tobe untrue..lies? and in he end, more pain comes out of it. i just figure i'd shut that out 'fore it progressed.

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Aww. Oh how we wish that you would find some real friends in the real world.

thats my problem, i sit in T twice a week. i get tired of rehashing my past, or current emotions, so i sit there n toy with play-doe, or hug the pooh bear she gave me. and avoid the awful truth. talking hurts. feelings hurt. its better not to feel, thats what i want, to not have to feel. emotions suck. its easier for me to push it aside, put it away.

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i've been doing so, and for awhile there i was doing great. i get out, i do things. i'm social. i act n behave like a normal person my age should. but why do i still feel so empty?

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Shawna, you want that pain out of you, don't you? In order for that to happen, you have to make yourself vulnerable to your therapist. Answer anything she asks you, as hard as it will be to do so. It is perfectly okay to cry or even completely lose control of yourself, as it is your body's way of expelling the trauma that has festered within you over the years.

And if it ever gets sticky, or you ever become uncertain about whether you really want to proceed to the next step, we'll be right here ready for you. We love you, Shawna.

Shawna,

Please, please, PLEASE do not kill yourself!!! No one here wants you dead, most especially not God. I want to die too, but I also know that it's not in God's will for me to go yet. Please don't think that things will never get better; no one can predict the future.

I am praying for you right now Shawna. Please don't do anything you'll regret.

Rosa

Dear Lord-

I lift Shawna up to you at this very moment. Lord, she is such a fragile and precious soul. She has been so hurt in the past. I don't know the reason for the hurt and pain that she has suffered and endured. But, Lord, it is taking it's toll on her. She is crumbling underneath the burden of it. Lord, I am calling out to you and asking for your help for her. I am asking you to take this burden from her and replace it with your peace. I am also asking that any thoughts of Shawna harming herself will be removed from her mind. She is such a dear one to many of us on here and we love her. We love her with the unconditional love that You have given us for her. She has a lot of worries right now. She is concerned about this lab professor that she must encounter again, the one that has harmed her in the past. Lord, I ask that you remove that worry from her life however it must be done. Create a hedge of protection around her from this man. Keep her safe from him and help her to be victorious of the pain he has caused her in the past. Help mend her relationship with a friend that she feels betrayed by. Help to bring them together to heal the hurt and the the rift that has occured between them.

Lord, most of all, help Shawna to deal with the pain that has mounted up in her heart. I know that she is scared and scared of what that pain will do to her in the future. But Lord, help her to see that she can be delivered from that pain and that she can chose to go down a different path than those that have gone before her. She can break that cycle, by leaning on you and your saving grace. You Lord have the power to change her life. Lord, help her to see your love for her and your outstreched arms that are longing to take her in and give her the love and comfort she so much desires. Help her to see that while her earthly father may have betrayed her, her Heavenly Father loves her beyond anything she could ever imagine and that You will never leave her or forsake her. All she has to do is to let go of her fear and trust in that love, let go of her guilt and hurt and trust that Your love will be enough to heal her.

Let her also know that she has a family at CF who is here, hoping to hear that she is still with us. We love her Lord, and we are fighting for her. Fighting those who would take her from us. Fighting those powers that we cannot see, but that we know You will claim a victory over. Lord, bind those voices that are whispering these lies to Shawna and take them forever away from her. Help her to grow in strength in Your love and care.

I ask these things in the name of your precious Son, Amen.

OH, no Lord don't let it be to late!

We have and are still praying for you Shawna, PLEASE DON'T let the enemy win!!!!!!!

Oh my Lord is this for real...isn't there something that can be done here, find where she is or SOMETHING!

babe u don't wanta do that trust me. Stuff will get betta it will take alot of time hard work and stuff but if u want it enough u can pull through. It may not seemlike it but i promise u that its true, i don't know y God let stuff like this happen i get mad at him because it seem so stupid, heartless, and crewl. I've asked him and so many people that question so manytimes, and no one has ever answered it well enough for me. and i don't think i'll ever get a good enough answer. But you know if you can pull through this you can help others that are in the sistuation u were in. I know that you can pull through this because others like you have already done it.and you know, People will be happy that you lived! your life will and already has made a difference in peoples lives. no matter what you believe about that, you can change the facts no one can you can choose not to believe them but the will all ways stay the same. and the facts are that you are loved, beyond what you can comprehend, and the your life has and will make a difference in the lives and people around you, which doesn't simply affect them but affects generations to cum. the facts are that your life does have a purpose and meaning, you have a destiny, the facts are the the devil knows the power you have to do amazing thing with your live and wants to destroy you to stop those things from being done. the facts are the Jesus died so that you could have life, and if you kill yourself now then jesus died for nothing. do you want to let jesus' death be for nothing? those are all facts if you believe it or not its the the truth. lies are the truths we live by until we no betta. Your life is worth so much, don't chuck it away babe, fufill your life, ur purpose and ur destiny before you do that. you don't realize how much it would destroy peoples lives if you died. please girl don't give up on yourslef, or on God. God maybe all you have, and God is the Only thing that can pull you through, with out him, you can't win, with him you can lose, God has never lost a battle, with him you have guareteed sucess. Please babe, don't chuck everything away.
I don't really know you, i'vered quite alot of ur posts and stuff and i know that your an amazing person. ne way this is long enough and you probably would read it anyway.
Love you girl, I'm praying for you.
Lizzie

Does anyone her know if Shawna's been online at all today? I have no idea how to find her (especially since I'm not from the States). If anyone knows, please get back to me.

Shawna, READ THIS BEFORE YOU MAKE ANY DECISION!!!!

God knows the plans He has for you, plans to give you a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). In fact, He probably has a better future planned for you than any of the rest of us!! Why else would Satan be tempting you so greatly to take your own life? Satan is scared of you, Shawna - scared of what you have the power to do in this world with God's help!!!!! Satan also tried to tempt Job (who was a great man in the Bible) to end his life and get done with his physical and mental suffering (only that's a lie because hell is much worse than this life could ever be), but even though Job thought at one time "that [his] soul chooseth strangling and death rather than [his] life" (Job 7:15-16) Job was able to resist Satan because God put a hedge of protection around him. Read the book of Job; Satan kept coming back and asking God for permission to do worse things to Job because he was such a strong Christian that he wouldn't bend and submit to Satan, but God told Satan I will not allow you to take Job's life and He didn’t.

I am so sorry that I did not check this site earlier today and see how you were doing. Maybe I could have explained that even though you were abused YOU WILL NOT END UP AS AN ABUSER LIKE YOUR FATHER IS UNLESS YOU DON'T GET THE RIGHT KIND OF HELP NOW. I believe that deep down inside you do not want to commit suicide; what you really want is to find some answer that will make your life better. You can beat this thing with God's help and the right kind of treatment. I am an offspring of two abusers who were each abused, and God has certainly done alot of healing in my life. I've seen Him do it in other victims' lives too; you don't have to turn out to be an abuser and I don't think you will because you have too tender a heart and a desire to help people.

Even if you did somehow mess up and abuse someone before you get totally healed (I don't think you will), SUICIDE IS WORSE THAN BEING AN ABUSER!!!! At least abusers who repent of their sins can go back to their victims and ask forgiveness (and all of us victims want our abusers to apologize and say they were wrong and they are sorry they did that; it would help us in some way if they did); if you kill yourself now you cannot be assured that you will have any window of time between your act of suicide and dying to ask God to forgive you. YOU KNOW WHY YOU'RE HURTING THE MOST? BECAUSE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE CUT OFF FROM GOD. You are feeling that even when God's presence is permeating throughout the earth. CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE WHAT IT WILL BE LIKE IF YOU CHOSE TO FORSAKE GOD AND WIND UP IN HELL FOREVER WITHOUT HIS PRESENCE AT ALL? God is not present in hell.

Do you really want to risk an eternal mistake like ending your precious life, or would you rather hang around, heal, and see WHAT MIRACULOUS THINGS GOD IS GETTING READY TO DO IN YOUR LIFE? Since Job resisted Satan's temptations to forsake God, God took away Job's pain and blessed Job with way more than he ever had in the beginning. ALL (NOT JUST SOME) THINGS WORK FOR GOOD FOR THOSE WHO LOVE GOD. Romans 8:28. God will always welcome you into His arms - in fact, that is what He is longing to do most of all, but God is not in hell, so if you wind up in hell because you killed yourself you can't ever be comforted by those arms that you long for so much to hold you. Satan is the Father of LIES. JESUS IS THE TRUTH. Satan says you're worth nothing; JESUS SAYS YOU WERE WORTH EVERYTHING - you were even worth His suffering on the cross and worth giving His life for (and He knew ahead of time every mistake you will ever make in your life and He still loved you enough to die for you). Satan wants you to commit suicide because he knows that if he can get you to do that you will be forever separated from God; you will never have a chance to get healed or to find what you really want. BREAK DOWN RIGHT NOW TO GOD AND TELL HIM ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU AND GIVE YOUR SUFFERING TO HIM. THEN ACCEPT HIS LOVING ARMS THAT WILL BE AROUND YOU COMFORTING YOU AND PROTECTING YOU!!! HE LOVES YOU DESPERATELY!!!!! This is one ex-victim who knows.

It is true that alot of victims who are abused turn into abusers, but it is also true that victims of abuse who get the right kind of help (and have God to help them through it, which you do; can't you see how God has been incredibly reaching out to you through His people on this website??) turn out not to be abusers but have a powerful testimony for the Lord and witness to people who would otherwise never even want to turn their lives over to the Lord.

If your professor is sexually abusing or harrassing you (with either physical contact or just words or threats), you need to tell someone in authority over him (like the dean of his college) immediately about it (they will take action because they don't want you to sue the college; if one person doesn't take action immediately go to the President of the College). You also need to contact your local police because what he is doing could be a serious crime (in that case he could go to jail instead of to class that day). Also ask the police about getting a protective order or restraining order against your professor so that he cannot go anywhere near you on or off the college campus (they are usually pretty quick and easy to get and they do not require as much proof as a criminal case; in fact, most police or prosecutors help you totally through the process). You wanted a chance for people to notice you, and this is your chance to be a real live hero!!!! and help other victims get out of abuse because your professor is probably abusing other students too if he is abusing you (although I wish you could be a hero under better circumstances and someday I believe you will; I believe you are going to be able to help change lives). EVEN IF YOUR PROFESSOR THREATENS TO FAIL YOU IF YOU DON"T COME SEE HIM IN PRIVATE, DO NOT GO SEE HIM ALONE EVER AGAIN. After you tell on him, your college will take care of him and he probably won't be a professor there anymore; the college has the power to change whatever grade he gives you if it is unfair (you can appeal it easily and if you have accused him of sexual harassment or abuse the college will probably want to help you in any way they can, even if it is just to avoid a lawsuit; keep in mind a lot of colleges do having caring people working for them and they usually bend over backwards to help people like you just out of kind hearts).

WE LOVE YOU, SHAWNA. My husband and I are praying for you. You can make it through this. If I can help you in any way, please PM me. You are too precious to God to waste your life by throwing it away. God has plans to put your life back together and heal you completely and then to use your testimony to win many people to Him. He's going to bless you just like He did Job for hanging in there. Choose God's side. In reality, Satan's way is the dead end - he kills, steals, and destroys. Jesus is the one who gives life back to us MORE ABUNDANTLY than we have ever had it before.

Well, I've read this entire thread and really can't add anything except that I agree with the advice that you've been given. If you ever need a friend or someone to talk to - pm me, you're in my thoughts and prayers........hugs to you and may God bless you.......

Look, you're right I don't know you from Adam BUT you're not a failure. You stood up for yourself - to me that says you're a strong person. It's easy to quit - it takes faith to follow through. You're doing the right things. Things look bad now but everything you're going through makes you stronger and makes you who you are. This isn't a great chapter in your life right now but the next one, ahhhh, the next one will be better b/c you'll look back and see how you made it through. When a baby is learning to walk, he falls so many times - but eventually he learns to walk and enjoys the confidence in this new accomplishment. A baby cries when he falls while trying to walk, but he always gets right back up and tries again. That's what you have got to do. I've had many terrible, devastating things happen to me in my short 28 years of life. There were days that I thought I would never make it to the next day and almost didn't. I got to a point that I was afraid to believe that anything good would happen to me. My outlook on my entire life was negative. Because my THOUGHTS were negative, so was my outlook on life. Can you think of some POSITIVE things that are going on for you? I found one already, you stood up for yourself. Who cares what they said? GOOD FOR YOU! You should be PROUD of yourself. Anyway, like I said, no, I don't know you - but I know me and I know what I have gone through in life and I can honestly say that if I made it through then you can too. Seriously, pm or email anytime you need to talk. I shoot straight from the hip but I'm also a person who loves God and knows that He loves you too.........hang in there.

It is 3:30 in the morning and I'm still up - arrrhhhh!!!!!! I wish I could get sleepy! lol.....

Anyway, another thing too I wanna say and then I'll hush........maybe.

At times God puts us through the discipline of darkness to teach us to heed Him, take notice of Him, listen to Him (Matt 10:27-32) (I Sam. 3:10) Song birds are taught to sing in the darkness - we are put into the shadow of GOd's hand until we learn to hear Him. "What I tell you in darkness" - Matt 10:27 - Watch where God puts you into darkness, and when you are there keep your mouth shut. Then remain quiet. If you open your mouth in the dark, you will talk in the wrong mood. Darkness is the time to listen. Don't talk to other people about it, don't read books to find out the reason of the darkness, but just listen and heed. If you talk to other people, you cannot hear what God is saying. When you are in the dark, LISTEN, and God will give you a precious message for someone else when you get into the light. After every time of darkness, there comes a mixture of delight and humiliation (if there is only delight, question whether you have heard God at all) - delight in hearing God speak, but mainly humiliation such as "What a long time I was in hearing that! or How slow have I been in understanding that?!" And yet God has been saying it all these days, weeks, years. Now He gives you the gift of humiliation which brings the softness of heart that will always listen to God now. If you are united with Jesus Christ, you hear God by the devotion of hearing all the time. A lily, a bird, a tree or a servent of God may convey God's message to you. what hinders you from hearing is that you are taken up with other things. It is not that you will NOT hear God but that you are not devoted in the right place. You are devoted to things, to people, to service, to convictions and God may say what He likes but you do not hear Him. The real delight of hearing God is tempered with shame in having been so long in hearing Him and the Lord reminds me - this is a good thing - Well, I don't know about you, but I feel like the Lord has just politely and lovingly kicked me in the rear end!! I don't know why I felt the urge to say this - it's certainly not my speaking style but I just kept typing and couldn't stop. So, I hope this makes sense. I may have to go through it and fix some typos but I'll submit now.........

well, just read what i wrote and i'm shaking........i literally got goose bumps b/c that was not me typing if that makes sense....hmmmmm, I love it when God speaks to me. Keep in touch and pm me if I can help you out or you just need a friend.......

urbanfaerie said:

no i'm alive. 5 alive. i'm sorry.

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Praise be to God! We were worried about you!

Shawna,
I'm sorry that the first person you reported your professor to let you down. Remember that people do fail, but God will never fail you. You did exactly the right thing. The person you talked to may have no legal experience whatsoever and/or may be scared to address the issue you brought up. In the REAL world there are civil and/or criminal laws in the US against sexual harassment and abuse taking place in the work force, universities, etc. In the real world, there are thousands or more people who finally stand up for themselves and file civil or criminal charges against a person who is subjecting them to sexual assaults or harassment; yes, some of them do lose their cases but some of them don't; either way they survive and their life gets better because they eventually realize they did the right thing and exercised better character for having exposed evil and trying to rid this world of it. If your professor just makes you uncomfortable because of no fault on his part, then don't pursue this, but if he is doing something like touching you inappropriately or even just saying sexually oriented things to you then you should keep trying to get someone to do something about it. If you didn't try talking to a dean, persons in authority over the dean, and then the president of the university, you should still do that until someone listens; just keep going over their heads. You are an academically outstanding student who has probably never complained about anything there before, so I'm almost positive that someone in that university will take you seriously on this issue; if they don't there are other legal steps you can take to get something done about it (some lawyers may even take your case at no charge to you; a criminal case won’t cost you any money). If immediate action isn’t taken by the college to correct your situation, withdraw from that class until this issue is resolved and take it again later. You will not ruin your future. If you still feel you want to stay in the class, then (because your professor is a lab professor I am assuming that he teaches the sciences, and since there is usually only one objective answer to any science question or lab experiment) if he marks an answer wrong on your paper and marks the same answer right on another student's paper then the university will be hard pressed not to change your grade to what it should be. (In the real world, you don't have to be a 4.0 student or win a professionalism award to get a great job; since you were a victim of abuse you have an irrational fear of being a failure if you aren't an absolute perfectionist. Yes, I was one too and sometimes still struggle with understanding that man's perfection (like making perfect grades) is not necessarily the same as God's perfection (like loving others, trusting in Him, and making the right choices). You are not a failure; you are an extremely intelligent young lady with a lot of potential. Since what your professor has done may be a crime (keep in mind I don't know the exact nature of what he has done), you should at least talk to the police about it. YOU ARE THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF A FAILURE. YOU ARE SOMEONE WHO TRIED TO DO GOOD AND HAS SUCCEEDED IN DOING GOOD. God hasn't worked out your situation for your good YET, but He can if you just let Him keep working on it. What would have happened if African-Americans had never stood up for their rights not to be subjected to racial discrimination and abuse? or if women had never stood up for their rights to be free from sexual discrimination? Nothing would have ever changed in our country. Fighting the good fight is not always easy, but it is worth it in the end.

Jesus is on your side even if it seems like SATAN is doing everything possible so that you will bail. Satan does not care about you; in fact, he hates you and wants you to destroy yourself by committing suicide, etc. Jesus loved you so much that He suffered and died for you; Jesus loves you so much that even now behind the scenes of the spiritual battles in your world He is interceding fervently before God's throne on your behalf and He is the one keeping you from committing suicide when you feel so bad; Jesus loves you so much that even though it almost kills Him all over again to see the suffering you are going through He lets Satan do certain things to persecute you right now because Jesus has a better viewpoint of your future than you do and He knows that the tests and trials you are going through right now are ultimately the very things that God is going to be able to use to make you a better Christian and to touch others' lives. Remember Joseph, whose own brothers sold him into slavery, suffered all sorts of persecution; later through God's divine plan Joseph predicted that a famine was going to take place and helped the Egyptians store up food supplies for it; he became a high authority in command just under Pharaoh in Egypt; when his family ran out of food and came to Egypt to buy food his brothers were terrified when they found Joseph was in charge; Joseph forgave them and helped save his family and all of Egypt; Joseph looked back on the trials in his life and said Satan intended to use what my brothers did for evil but God used what happened for good. Jesus wants you to hang in there through the tough times so that He can bring you VICTORY.

We love you, Shawna, and we want you around for along time. You are a blessing to so many people. You scared all of us half to death when we thought you were gone. You do need to receive the right kind of counseling and prayer for the abuse you have undergone or you will probably never truly heal (I am someone who tried to fight that method for almost 25 years and finally found the right kind of treatment method and started healing; just because you are going to a counselor does not mean it is the right one; no victim I have ever known has been able to beat this without God's help and they have only received healing after going to a CHRISTIAN counselor; years and years of non-Christian counseling did not work for them; keep in mind that your abuse happened over many years so you are not going to be completely healed after just going to a counselor for several months or maybe even years depending on how severe the abuse was and how long it lasted, but you will start to feel better after a short period of time once you start on the right road to healing with the right counselor). However, Christian counseling alone is not enough; in order for anything to change in your life you have to make a conscious decision to turn your life over to God and to trust in Him to do what's best for you even when you think your life is crumbling; then you have to let God help you heal and put you back together again. The Bible is the Truth and will help you see that some of what you believe about yourself and about God not caring is a lie from Satan; the Truth is what will set you free. If you read the Bible and start to praise God even when you don't feel like it, you will find some of the spiritual power you desire to have in this battle against Satan (the Bible says God inhabits the praise of His people so God comes near to people who praise Him; when Paul and Silas were put in jail for being Christians and they started praising God when they didn't feel like it God miraculously opened up a way for them to escape that prison; by the way, when they praised God in a grim situation a prison guard who was watching got saved and became a Christian; see how God works out our situations for good?; Paul and Silas didn't suffer the cruel death they thought they were about to go through). Even if your friend was a Christian, Christians can fail you too sometimes. Only God will never fail you. God has seen all your true colors (more times even than your friend) and He still loves and cherishes you, and He knows what your purpose is even when you don't. You can choose to belong to God. He really wants you to.

Talk to Jesus. He knows you personally. He will love us in spite of ourselves.

People don't have all the answers, but God always has them.

Know you are loved.

Psalm 147
1 Praise ye the LORD: for it is good to sing praises unto our God; for it is pleasant; and praise is comely.
2 The LORD doth build up Jerusalem: he gathereth together the outcasts of Israel.
3 He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.
4 He telleth the number of the stars; he calleth them all by their names.
5 Great is our Lord, and of great power: his understanding is infinite.
6 The LORD lifteth up the meek: he casteth the wicked down to the ground.
7 Sing unto the LORD with thanksgiving; sing praise upon the harp unto our God:
8 Who covereth the heaven with clouds, who prepareth rain for the earth, who maketh grass to grow upon the mountains.
9 He giveth to the beast his food, and to the young ravens which cry.
10 He delighteth not in the strength of the horse: he taketh not pleasure in the legs of a man.
11 The LORD taketh pleasure in them that fear him, in those that hope in his mercy.
12 Praise the LORD, O Jerusalem; praise thy God, O Zion.
13 For he hath strengthened the bars of thy gates; he hath blessed thy children within thee.
14 He maketh peace in thy borders, and filleth thee with the finest of the wheat.
15 He sendeth forth his commandment upon earth: his word runneth very swiftly.
16 He giveth snow like wool: he scattereth the hoarfrost like ashes.
17 He casteth forth his ice like morsels: who can stand before his cold?
18 He sendeth out his word, and melteth them: he causeth his wind to blow, and the waters flow.
19 He sheweth his word unto Jacob, his statutes and his judgments unto Israel.
20 He hath not dealt so with any nation: and as for his judgments, they have not known them. Praise ye the LORD.

We pray to Our LORD, that He is with Shawna now, and guiding her every step of her way. O Lord let your Grace, Love and the power of the Holy Spirit be with Shawna and make her whole, heal her of all her heartaches and pain that she is feeling now!


"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to
prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11


God sees our potential. He sees what we can become. The problem is that when we look at ourselves, we see our
past failures. And Satan is only too ready to remind us of those mistakes every chance he gets.

While sin can slow down our forward progress, it doesn't change the fact
that God has a plan and a purpose for your life. Liberty Savard, in her
book "Shattering Your Strongholds" says this about God's plan for us:

"Only with God can you start over more than once with an unblemished,
untarnished, 100 percent, still-intact potential ... the same potential
He has always intended you to fulfill."

Others may think you don't have a bright future, you may even believe it
yourself. But not God! He sees your past, He forgives your past and He
never holds it against you. Even if your past mistakes include something
you did or said this morning. The key is confessing your sin and
disobedience and then moving forward in the freedom that forgiveness
brings.

It's also important to allow the Holy Spirit to teach you so that you
learn from your past. An unteachable spirit harbors pride and pride will
hinder your potential, causing you to stumble. Proverbs 29:23 warns, "A
man's pride will bring him low, but a humble spirit will obtain honor."

As we begin a new year, I encourage you to look to God to renew your
purpose and potential. No matter what last year or yesterday looked
like, today is brand new. God still has a plan and a purpose for your
life and He promises to bring good things your way and do mighty things
through you if you let Him.


My prayer for today:

Heavenly Father, I praise You for You are faithful and good. Thank you
for loving me and creating me with potential. I confess any sin that has
hindered Your work in my life. I give you my life to fulfill your
purpose and plan. In Jesus Name, Amen.