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Recent content by pegatha

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    Is it possible for a christian family to become obsessed about their families and how many children/grandchildren they have

    It's possible to have a large family, but still take an active interest in your friends and community. Your friend, however, isn't doing that. She's made her priorities pretty clear. If she wanted a give-and-take, mutually supportive friendship, she'd be acting very differently. It sounds like...
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    I am so mentally tired...Please help

    One reason your husband is so verbally abusive is because he can get away with it. What would happen if you interrupted his next tirade with something like, "Knock it off! I've been putting up with your temper tantrums for years and now I'm sick of it. Would you for once just keep your bad mood...
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    Am I Wrong?

    I totally agree with BeanMak. Yes, it'll be hard, but most worthwhile things are hard. Taking the easy way out usually only makes things harder in the long run.
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    Soon to be mother in law telling her daughter to stay away from my parents!

    So, how is your fiance supposed to be a witness to her unbelieving in-laws if she snubs them every chance she gets? If your parents have a history of being dangerous, violent, or emotionally or physically destructive, then your fiance is right to avoid them--and you'd be wise to, too. But if...
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    is this normal in marriage?

    Please consider carefully how your husband might view your faith. Does he feel that he's in competition with your church? Does he think you're trying to tell him what to believe, or that you're implying he's not good enough for you? Unbelievers don't understand why faith is so central to...
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    Poor and Engaged!

    In all honesty, I think you should wait till you've got health insurance. Once you get married & become sexually active, there's a good chance that a little one will come along, maybe sooner than you'd planned. No form of birth control is 100% effective. You'll thank yourselves if you at least...
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    Disagreement about Being on Time

    I had a similar problem many years ago, although not quite identical. Mine was, my husband wouldn't come to dinner with me and our small kids when it was ready. I had to remind him again and again, while dinner sat there getting cold, and the kiddos were getting hungry and cranky. I repeatedly...
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    She was raped...

    First, your fiance needs some sort of counseling for post-traumatic stress. Her primary care doctor, or her OB-GYN, or a rape-crisis center can help her find a good counselor. Second, raising three kids by herself is going to be tough, to put it mildly. Add the trauma of rape to that, and...
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    More Sex

    I'm glad you're committed to not having sex till you're married, and I'm glad she's not pressuring you. But I'm curious why you call her a committed Christian who loves God, if she doesn't believe what the Bible says about saving sex for marriage. How can she love God but then ignore or deny his...
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    If You're Very Rich, Would It Be Wise to Get a Prenup?

    I probably wouldn't get a pre-nup for a first marriage unless there were complicated business or inheritance issues (like the family homestead mentioned in the previous post). However, if my husband passed away and I remarried, I'd get a pre-nup to ensure that the assets from my first marriage...
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    Future Mother-In-Law Issues

    This is kind of long, but for the first twenty or so years of my marriage (until my ILs passed on), my husband constantly put his parents ahead of his wife & children. So, as you see, I'm speaking from experience. For several years, I've belonged to a couple of in-law forums. Based on my own...
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    Question

    When I say, "Nothing's wrong," what I actually mean is, "We've been over this time and time again, and you still don't get it. By now you should know what's wrong. I'm still hurting, but I've found that talking to you only makes it worse because you can't seem to understand why this upsets me so...
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    Being a blessing

    New habits take time to develop. Start out small, maybe one special little thing a day, and slowly build up from there. It doesn't have to be anything dramatic. It can be something as small as offering to get him a glass of iced tea while he's watching TV. You can also ask him, "Is there...
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    Getting married – having seconds thoughts, confused and discouraged

    Two things: first, you really seem to want a woman who loves God and loves your family. Second, the woman you're currently with isn't that kind of woman. It's really going to hurt if you break it off with her now. It's going to hurt even worse if you decide she was the wrong one after several...
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    Should I ask her to marry me?

    I don't think there's an absolute right or wrong here, just some practical considerations. First, there's the possibility that she'll be left a teen-aged widow with a baby and no life insurance, no work experience, and no means of supporting the child. Think long and hard about birth control...