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Recent content by Antari

  1. Antari

    Devil possessed, or just ill?

    Though demon possession is very real, it is much, much more likely that you are simply suffering from one of the dreaded traits of BPD. I very often do just what you have described. The things I say, they seem so logical at the time, but hours or days later, I realize I was out of hand. Everyone...
  2. Antari

    Relationship Issue.

    Well, that's the tough part of BPD. When you finally get better, you realize that it's never gone. The symptoms will be with us forever, but we can numb them and make them less intense, just as you have. I'm proud of those like you, who have shown themselves to be strong enough to fight this.
  3. Antari

    You Are Never Alone

    The worst part of this horrid illness to me is the inability to put into words the suffering. I live daily, knowing that nothing I say will ever be able to explain it, that no one will know exactly what it's like (except other sufferers, thus why I talk to them often. We gotta keep each other...
  4. Antari

    Diagnosing BPD

    Well put. The soap opera drama parades of BPD-sufferers (I have BPD, so know that I am not insulting anyone purposely =P ) is exactly what drives all of our relationships, friendships, etc., into the ground.
  5. Antari

    Diagnosing BPD

    Easy. I self-diagnosed, and then later was diagnosed by a psychologist. The best way to tell if you have it is to ask yourself about each symptom, and answer logically and truthfully. You only need to match 5 of the symptoms. Another way is to ask "is it a tiring and utterly disappointing task...
  6. Antari

    May God Strike Me Down

    Throughout my life I have constantly drifted between good and evil, over the line between them, so to speak. I never went to moderate lengths past each side, but rather I would go to the extremes of both. I would be a diligent Christian who's life was God, then snap and become a homocidal...
  7. Antari

    Maintenance

    Too many things to explain, and too much going on. All I can say is I need to maintain myself and keep myself stable. Please pray for me to return to my faith and give up my selfish desires, and to cope with the memories I have.
  8. Antari

    Just Another Day

    I can't say I'm close to God or anything, even though I long to be, but I'm in need of prayer, and I know God is there, even though I haven't been there for him. My body has been failing. My left arm has lost most of it's ability to feel and has gone numb, I have constant head aches...
  9. Antari

    Recommend to me...

    Okay, I like pretty much any genre of music 'cept country, but can someone please recommend a group that resembles My Chemical Romance's style? I have money, and no music to buy. :P Thanks in advance.
  10. Antari

    Pre-Crisis Prayer

    In the past two years, I've endured several mental illnesses, demon oppression, self-injury, suicide attempts, death, and confusion. I've tried so many times to explain to others what goes on in me, and why I am simply a muddled mess, but it's futile. I simply cannot explain it to you. For you...
  11. Antari

    I Need Support

    Thank you for sharing that. One of the most excruciating parts of being mentally ill is trying to share your feelings with people, everyday people who are naive of the thought of a terror living within your own mind. Hearing from people who know what it's like really helps, and hearing that...
  12. Antari

    Why....

    Exactly. People are very simple, they understand physical illness because it's effects are apparent, but mental illness, they conclude is either just "their problem," or a "get over it" kind of thing. I would not put myself through this daily if I had the choice. Might as well tell an insomniac...
  13. Antari

    I Need Support

    Thanks, it helps to know people are there. I didn't have a panic attack today, but I came close. The bad thing about my panic attacks is that they come with extreme anger, violent impulses, followed by tears, and after the attack is over, lack of care for anything in the world, as well as an...
  14. Antari

    I Need Support

    For the past year, I have been holding on, trying to keep myself from going downhill, but it gets worse and worse daily. I have begun to slip, and I guess I always knew I'd eventually give out, but still... I'm scared. Every day, something pops into my head (usually worry that I'll lose my...
  15. Antari

    I'm lost in confusion and impulsivity.

    (excuse my lack of capitalization, i have a broken finger) i'm about to fall away from god. my mind is clouded, chaotic, and i feel no love for a thing in the world. i guess i've lost my cares for life. i'm a person who has literally, for the past two years, never awoken to a happy thought. if...
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