He sees it as flaws in our education system, less parental pressure over education and performance, and personal motivation.
Are you familiar with the Asian school system? It’s very competitive and most Americans wouldn’t push their children that much or agree to it either. As for parental pressure, honor holds a different place in their culture and you can’t ignore the reality of tiger moms.
Tiger parenting is a form of strict parenting, whereby parents are highly invested in ensuring their children's success. Specifically, tiger parents push their children to attain high levels of academic achievement or success in high-status extracurricular activities such as music or sports.
The notion of a "tiger parent" is analogous to other authoritarian parenting stereotypes, such as the American stage mother, the Japanese kyōiku mama, and the "Jewish mother". Other similar or related terms include helicopter parent, monster parents, and Hong Kong Kids phenomenon.
You’re not going to match them through public education or parochial schools either. You’d have to go private and secure a place in a top day school and board if possible. That’s where futures are solidified not universities and they’re feeders too. Nevertheless, I think there’s some truth in what he said.
I dated a Chinese gentleman in the past and he was very successful. His cv is a parent’s dream and he’s very driven. I convinced him to pursue a side hustle to address his excess energy and he never stopped. He works full-time and teaches classes at an Ivy in the evening in addition to volunteering. I’m not talking soup kitchens. They’re professional positions that look good on a resume and build connections within your industry. And his approach to networking was top notch. He’s an introvert by nature and combatted it by meeting with business leaders once a week for a meal or drinks.
As you might imagine he earns a lot. But his father asked him when he’d start making money because it wasn’t enough. I was honestly surprised by his statement. But his standard was high and his wife didn‘t work and he retired with millions. She was the 1950s housewife they’re cosplaying today. Submissive, domestic, very involved in their education, friendly with neighbors and welcoming to children and volunteered often. She wasn’t idle. As a result, her children are successful (his sister is an engineer turned entrepreneur) with great work ethics.
While I have some of the qualities of tiger parents I wouldn’t go as far as they do. There must be balance. On the other hand, there’s a line Dustin Hoffman uttered in the Medici series that I love. He told his son I gave you life and I’ll tell you what to do with it. The comment is rooted in legacy and that’s how dynasties are built. Every one has a role and if that’s your mindset you’ll go far if you know how to lead and your family is agreeable.
We’re known for our individualism and it’s also our achilles heel. Whereas I see family as a unit based on everyone who emerges from my loins and thereafter. That isn’t a slight against my relatives. I don’t have the same authority with them nor did I shape them. But I can set the tone with mine.
Unfortunately, there’s a noticeable lack of vision in many homes. Going to school and getting a good job is not a vision or a plan. Nor is buying a house. Where does it lead and what is the end result? The rinse and repeat should be a sign that it isn’t working. I’m reminded of a couple I watch on YouTube. They retired and sold their home and purchased a 40 acre farm. The couple has three children and divided the property in 10 acre portions to accommodate everyone and two have joined them.
Because of their wisdom they’re able to reduce their expenses, grow their own food, support one another and spend time with their grandchildren and work in the family business (market stand). You get ahead by working together and pooling your resources. Foreigners understand that but we don’t.
~bella
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