I am going through a horrible time right now. I am in sorrow. I decided to take the COVID shot because I wanted to go to a concert. It's been said that it is the mark of the beast. Even with that fear of the idea of that I took it anyway because I wanted to go to that concert. I've regretted this decision ever since. I constantly have oppression, voices telling me I blasphemed the holy Spirit. I've done many things that were in darkness. I don't feel in control of my body or mind. I've written poems that disregard the Lord. Doing everything opposite than what I should be doing. I've always loved the Lord with my heart but I could never break this cycle of satanic attacks. I went my whole 38 years of life without touching a drug. But because of how low I have been feeling I decided to take a few puffs of pot to try and calm me. Well, it didn't. I felt something that I can only describe as a switch being turned on in my brain...like I awakened something that I should have never done. I close my eyes to sleep and my body rests but it's like my spiritual eyes won't let me fall asleep. I've struggled with schizophrenia which I'm on medications for and am still on edge. I truly feel like the devil has won and I forfeited my soul. I can not begin to address just how desolate of a state I am in. I love Jesus but I feel like I'm lost to Him forever now.