I'm scared for my future

[Lady Bug]

Hi, I know I've written about my dad being a drama queen but he's an angel next to my brother (that might not be saying much, but still). When my dad passes, it's not going to be less drama, it's going to be replaced by a much worse drama queen, my brother. He is a literal crybaby who practically forces my dad to give him money every 2 weeks to a month. The reasons why he "needs" the money are very loaded. A bulk of the reasons are his own foolish choices. Whenever he is on the phone he cries about something. I have an allergy to grown, 50-year old men who can't stop crying. Sometimes my brother has an edgy, borderline nasty tone with me and when I try to counter him, he gets more and more edgy until he goes into an uproar. I don't think I have a good rest of my life ahead of me. I'm not a fan of nursing homes but my brother is so much anti-nursing home that I think that he has an ulterior motive of me "taking care of him" later in life, which I just don't want or can do. After my dad, I think I need to stop doing "caregiving." I'm worried enough about myself getting old without anyone to care for me.

 

[Susie~Q]

Your brother's actions are despicable and satan-led, he has no concern for anyone but himself. I can't stand that crying crap, most only do that for more sympathy and to get what they want, I am sure that he knows exactly what he is doing and what buttons to press on you and your dad. In my opinion, he is a lot worse than your dad, at least your dad isn't nasty or have ulterior motives. How dare your brother even insinuate that you should take care of him later in life!!!!! NO WAY!!!!!

I worry at times about being alone if my husband dies first and I get serious health issues, I just pray for peace of mind and to not worry, but it is a very scary thought, you have gone through so much, no wonder your mind is working over-time.

Sending hugs to you my friend.

 

[RileyG]

Praying

 

[Lady Bug]

Your brother's actions are despicable and satan-led, he has no concern for anyone but himself. I can't stand that crying crap, most only do that for more sympathy and to get what they want, I am sure that he knows exactly what he is doing and what buttons to press on you and your dad. In my opinion, he is a lot worse than your dad, at least your dad isn't nasty or have ulterior motives. How dare your brother even insinuate that you should take care of him later in life!!!!! NO WAY!!!!!

I worry at times about being alone if my husband dies first and I get serious health issues, I just pray for peace of mind and to not worry, but it is a very scary thought, you have gone through so much, no wonder your mind is working over-time.

Sending hugs to you my friend.

I don't understand how someone like me who does not ask for drama, is getting drama dumped on me. ENOUGH. By the time I finally get peace in my life, I will be the same age that my mom got dementia (49 or 50).

BTW I don't know if my brother was insinuating that; it was my own supposition but I can never be too sure.

 

[FaithT]

Your brother's actions are despicable and satan-led, he has no concern for anyone but himself. I can't stand that crying crap, most only do that for more sympathy and to get what they want, I am sure that he knows exactly what he is doing and what buttons to press on you and your dad. In my opinion, he is a lot worse than your dad, at least your dad isn't nasty or have ulterior motives. How dare your brother even insinuate that you should take care of him later in life!!!!! NO WAY!!!!!

I worry at times about being alone if my husband dies first and I get serious health issues, I just pray for peace of mind and to not worry, but it is a very scary thought, you have gone through so much, no wonder your mind is working over-time.

Sending hugs to you my friend.

Susie, I sometimes worry about the same thing as you,especially as I’ve gotten older. I’m 64 and time just seems to fly by now.
I’ll pray for you LB.

 

[Lady Bug]

I don't mean to sound dramatic but I'm on the edge of giving up ANY idea that I'll ever have peace in my life. I'm TIRED of it all.

 

[FaithT]

I don't mean to sound dramatic but I'm on the edge of giving up ANY idea that I'll ever have peace in my life. I'm TIRED of it all.

Have you ever sought counseling from a priest?

 

[FaithT]

Have you ever sought counseling from a priest?

An approachable, kind priest?

 

[Lady Bug]

I have a problem of getting carnal thoughts about certain priests I encounter, that's why I have tended not to consult them about emotional issues.

 

[FaithT]

I have a problem of getting carnal thoughts about certain priests I encounter, that's why I have tended not to consult them about emotional issues.

Ok. Would an unattractive, elderly, grandfatherly- like priest help?

 

[FaithT]

Ok. Would an unattractive, elderly, grandfatherly- like priest help?

Or a religious sister? I used to have one who was my spiritual director, but she passed away several years ago.

 

[Lady Bug]

Ok. Would an unattractive, elderly, grandfatherly- like priest help?

Or a religious sister? I used to have one who was my spiritual director, but she passed away several years ago.

I think I can safely say yes to both.

 

[FaithT]

I think I can safely say yes to both.

I recommend that you call your parish tomorrow and make either an appointment with a priest that fits the bill or if none do in your parish, find one in a different parish. Or call your parish office tomorrow and just tell the receptionist that you have some problems and you are looking for a female spiritual director. Ask if she know‘s anyone. If she doesn’t then ask one of your priests over the phone.

 

[FaithT]

I recommend that you call your parish tomorrow and make either an appointment with a priest that fits the bill or if none do in your parish, find one in a different parish. Or call your parish office tomorrow and just tell the receptionist that you have some problems and you are looking for a female spiritual director. Ask if she know‘s anyone. If she doesn’t then ask one of your priests over the phone.

A spiritual director can help you spiritually and if she’s like mine, she was able to help me with other stuff, too. She became my friend. And mine was free. I’d ask how much it’s going to cost upfront, though.

 

[FaithT]

Another time, before I found my SD I went to talk to her friend who is also a religious sister that used to work at my parish about a couple problems I’ve had. She didn’t charge me either.

 

[RileyG]

A spiritual director can help you spiritually and if she’s like mine, she was able to help me with other stuff, too. She became my friend. And mine was free. I’d ask how much it’s going to cost upfront, though.

Oh yes! For a spiritual retreat in college, I had a wonderful Benedictine sister who was my spiritual director.

She passed away from muscular dystrophy at the age of 68 on All Saints Day 2019.

Such a kind, holy woman.

They can be VERY helpful, indeed @Lady Bug

 

[FaithT]

Oh yes! For a spiritual retreat in college, I had a wonderful Benedictine sister who was my spiritual director.

She passed away from muscular dystrophy at the age of 68 on All Saints Day 2019.

Such a kind, holy woman.

They can be VERY helpful, indeed @Lady Bug

That’s so sad that she had muscular dystrophy. I don’t know why I hadn’t thought to recommend a SD before now. AND a priest can be a SD too, I think. Just don’t let your dad or brother know about this though.

 

[RileyG]

That’s so sad that she had muscular dystrophy. I don’t know why I hadn’t thought to recommend a SD before now. AND a priest can be a SD too, I think. Just don’t let your dad or brother know about this though.

Yeah, I think she was diagnosed after she joined the monastery.

 

[FaithT]

Yeah, I think she was diagnosed after she joined the monastery.

 

[RileyG]

Their order is aging, sadly.

I’m sorry for going off topic @Lady Bug

I will ask St. Jude, and St. Rita to pray for you!

May Mary wrap you in her mantle!

May St. Joseph wrap you in his cloak!

Amen!