I don't see a good outcome

[mourningdove~]

You guys I have too much anxiety and I can't function like this. I want to "die" almost.

It's very easy to understand why you are feeling overwhelmed and very anxious.

You know 'someone' is most always 'here' ... and we pray for you, and try to be helpful ... but please also don't hesitate to call the 988 Lifeline if you want to actually talk to someone who is trained to listen and may have some helpful advice to offer.

Many years ago, I called a crisis line. I had no one to talk to, and felt overwhelmed. They were very helpful, in my situation. They mostly just listened, and that is what I needed.

I have a sister who works in the mental health field. She worked the crisis lines for a few years. She shared that they got many calls. And they understand that persons are sometimes dealing with issues that can almost be more than they can bear.

Here's a link to 988 Lifeline:

988 Lifeline

At the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, we understand that life’s challenges can sometimes be difficult. Whether you’re facing mental health struggles, emotional distress, alcohol or drug use concerns…

988lifeline.org

{{hugg}}

 

[chevyontheriver]

It's very easy to understand why you are feeling overwhelmed and very anxious.

You know 'someone' is most always 'here' ... and we pray for you, and try to be helpful ... but please also don't hesitate to call the 988 Lifeline if you want to actually talk to someone who is trained to listen and may have some helpful advice to offer.

Many years ago, I called a crisis line. I had no one to talk to, and felt overwhelmed. They were very helpful, in my situation. They mostly just listened, and that is what I needed.

I have a sister who works in the mental health field. She worked the crisis lines for a few years. She shared that they got many calls. And they understand that persons are sometimes dealing with issues that can almost be more than they can bear.

Here's a link to 988 Lifeline:

988 Lifeline

At the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, we understand that life’s challenges can sometimes be difficult. Whether you’re facing mental health struggles, emotional distress, alcohol or drug use concerns…

988lifeline.org

{{hugg}}

I agree, especially the hug part.

If you are at the hospital, see what they have for caregiver support. You deserve some tender loving care.

 

[FaithT]

You guys I have too much anxiety and I can't function like this. I want to "die" almost.

I second what mourningdove and Chevy said.

 

[Michie]

Lady Bug, have the doctors not given you some sort of diagnosis yet? Everyone needs to know what they are dealing with so they can plan accordingly.

 

[RileyG]

You guys I have too much anxiety and I can't function like this. I want to "die" almost.

His grace and peace to you

 

[Lady Bug]

Lady Bug, have the doctors not given you some sort of diagnosis yet? Everyone needs to know what they are dealing with so they can plan accordingly.

I don't think there's a diagnosis of anything specific. The nurse says his mobility has been deconditioned because he's been in bed for awhile and needs a couple staff members to assist him to the bathroom. She says that there is no time period as to how long he's going to remain like this. I'm worried that if he stays like this indefinitely, I can't take care of him at home. She says that the rehab place would be less lonely than this and essentially a better environment because they'd keep him engaged more. I don't know. I'm still petrified about his mental state, but if the nurse said he's "alright" now, he might be better in the rehab (mentally at least).

I tried calling my dad and it wasn't a good phone call. I spent more than 15 minutes on the phone trying to spell out a medication to him that he wants to take (prednisone) that he wanted me to ask the nurse about (it turns out that I had already asked the nurse just before) and he claimed he couldn't hear me and I was almost screaming into the phone the letters (spelling it out to him) and he still couldn't hear me and I just gave up and hung up. I was wanting to talk to him about other things but he kept pressing me about the medication, which the nurse said could not be given to him unless it was established that he had the inflammation necessary to warrant the medication. Whether the nurse is wrong or not I don't know but I just don't have the authorization or wherewithal to give him prednisone. A phone call was basically ruined and I was wanting to talk to my dad for the past 24 hours and got nowhere almost (with him at least).

I really don't know how much I can write at any given time. I hate when people expect you to be on your toes 24/7. My brother is insensitive as usual. Ironically, I need him but at times it's better not to talk to him, than to think I'm going to get any moral support from him.

My anxiety was so bad last night and I could not control my tears. Eventually I did sleep but I don't know how that happened. A huge problem with medication is that it doesn't allow me to cry, which is the polar opposite problem to what I'm having now.

 

[FaithT]

I’m on Prozac, among other things and I can’t cry, either.

 

[boughtwithaprice]

You guys I have too much anxiety and I can't function like this. I want to "die" almost.

Do you have other siblings or does your father have other relatives?

If you are all he has, then you don’t need a POA. If he can’t make decisions on his own, it would automatically fall to you. Even if you had a POA, he can override your decisions if he objects.
Even if a patient cannot make complex plans, they retain the right to say no, until they cannot.

Do not let this worry you. It is very scary for you, but you are doing all you can. It is no shame to ask for help for yourself.
Medicare will cover rehab and long term acute care as well as skilled nursing care if needed, and if assets and income are low enough, Medicaid will help also.
If he has an estate of significant value, you would be able to spend the money for him, if it is in his best interest. That is called a fiduciary. If it is spent on healthcare, there is no worry of being ineligible for Medicaid when the money runs out

I will pray for you. I hope you have others to talk with than us here. We all want to help, but are not in person

 

[Lady Bug]

Do you have other siblings or does your father have other relatives?

I have a sibling and my dad has other relatives but that would be the worst thing for me right now. No I don't mean to sound selfish. Relatives coming near would be dreadful. It is the #1 fear I've had. I don't want to deal with Muslims finding out that I'm Christian. I need some people from church right now. This is also not the time to romanticize "suffering for Jesus" with these guys. I wish I had relatives from Mom's side but I don't.

If you are all he has, then you don’t need a POA. If he can’t make decisions on his own, it would automatically fall to you. Even if you had a POA, he can override your decisions if he objects.
Even if a patient cannot make complex plans, they retain the right to say no, until they cannot.

It looks like obtaining a POA or even guardianship is tedious. I know it's necessary but I feel like the rest of the world doesn't care how much stress is on a person.

Do not let this worry you. It is very scary for you, but you are doing all you can. It is no shame to ask for help for yourself.
Medicare will cover rehab and long term acute care as well as skilled nursing care if needed, and if assets and income are low enough, Medicaid will help also.

Medicaid can technically help but I hope I don't have to sell this house in order to do it

If he has an estate of significant value, you would be able to spend the money for him, if it is in his best interest. That is called a fiduciary. If it is spent on healthcare, there is no worry of being ineligible for Medicaid when the money runs out

I think I get dumber when I get anxious because I'm not following this

I will pray for you. I hope you have others to talk with than us here. We all want to help, but are not in person

Thank you; please don't take it personally if my tone is brash; my brain can't think right now and I feel like I have the intellect of only a 10-year old right now.

 

[Lady Bug]

I’m on Prozac, among other things and I can’t cry, either.

Yeah, I hated Prozac partly for this. I also had brain fog and cognitive impairment on it and I couldn't handle it anymore.

 

[FaithT]

Yeah, I hated Prozac partly for this. I also had brain fog and cognitive impairment on it and I couldn't handle it anymore.

Ijust wish I could have a good cry occasionally.

 

[RileyG]

Yeah, I hated Prozac partly for this. I also had brain fog and cognitive impairment on it and I couldn't handle it anymore.

I was on lexapro for six years and on Prozac for a few, among a bunch of other anti depressants. My then counselor said it increased my anxiety.

Hope you feel better soon

 

[mourningdove~]

My anxiety was so bad last night and I could not control my tears. Eventually I did sleep but I don't know how that happened.

Glad you got some sleep.
I think maybe God heard all our prayers for you last nite ...

(Thanks for posting an update today. )

 

[boughtwithaprice]

I have a sibling and my dad has other relatives but that would be the worst thing for me right now. No I don't mean to sound selfish. Relatives coming near would be dreadful. It is the #1 fear I've had. I don't want to deal with Muslims finding out that I'm Christian. I need some people from church right now. This is also not the time to romanticize "suffering for Jesus" with these guys. I wish I had relatives from Mom's side but I don't.

It looks like obtaining a POA or even guardianship is tedious. I know it's necessary but I feel like the rest of the world doesn't care how much stress is on a person.

Medicaid can technically help but I hope I don't have to sell this house in order to do it

I think I get dumber when I get anxious because I'm not following this

Thank you; please don't take it personally if my tone is brash; my brain can't think right now and I feel like I have the intellect of only a 10-year old right now.

I understand. There is usallly a homestead exemption for Medicaid which means you probably won’t have to sell the house

I know you are stressed and I am sorry if I am giving too much information. I was trying to help you feel better

If the other relatives are not close, I do not recommend contacting them unless your father wants to speak with them

 

[Lady Bug]

I understand. There is usallly a homestead exemption for Medicaid which means you probably won’t have to sell the house

I know you are stressed and I am sorry if I am giving too much information. I was trying to help you feel better

If the other relatives are not close, I do not recommend contacting them unless your father wants to speak with them

Don't worry, your information is valuable. I may not completely understand everything, that's all. I hope you end up being right about the Medicaid thing.

 

[mourningdove~]

My anxiety was so bad last night and I could not control my tears.

If this high level of stress continues for you, you may want to contact your doctor, and let him/her know what is going on in your life and the difficulty you are having with the situation.

Sometimes a doctor will adjust a patient's medication, when they know their patient is going thru an extremely difficult time.

 

[boughtwithaprice]

That is a good thought mourningdove. Sometimes stress becomes overwhelming and we cannot think clearly

Medication is not a permanent fix, but can help in the short term in removing intrusive thoughts and allow one to think more clearly, especially when stress impairs function

 

[Lady Bug]

If this high level of stress continues for you, you may want to contact your doctor, and let him/her know what is going on in your life and the difficulty you are having with the situation.

Sometimes a doctor will adjust a patient's medication, when they know their patient is going thru an extremely difficult time.

That is a good thought mourningdove. Sometimes stress becomes overwhelming and we cannot think clearly

Medication is not a permanent fix, but can help in the short term in removing intrusive thoughts and allow one to think more clearly, especially when stress impairs function

Quoting the both of you - so far, any serotonin drugs have caused emotional blunting, cognitive impairment, absentmindedness, and brain fog and made me feel absolutely nothing, no emotions. I've tried Prozac, Lexapro, and Cymbalta. I've done Wellbutrin and while it didn't dull my brain as badly as the serotonin drugs did, it made my "drive" way, way too high. It was ridiculous.

I also see why some people resort to meds for certain situations - no matter what you try to do, it seems like a medication can take the edge off things. I just wish they didn't do the damage that they did to me. I think that the damage of the medication were reversed, but I was terrified that it would be permanent.

I think the thing I'm most apprehensive about right now is the half-lives of medications. Fortunately, Prozac's half life was very merciful (I still really don't want to take that again, if I can help it), but I don't want to be beholden to a medication that "has" to be taken at a certain time every day when my schedule is erratic. Every antidepressant I've taken makes me drowsy, without exception, so it must be taken within a certain time range before bed, and from one day to the next I never know what my bedtime will be, or if something will keep me up at night like this incident that caused my dad to go to the hospital.

So it's like - the med can temporarily save you, but it also enslaves you to them, and the enslaving part I always found burdensome when I was on my meds.

There is a lowkey anti-anxiety med called Buspar that I've been before, and it does not cause blunting, but my problem is that I have always grown tolerant of whatever dose I was on and had to up it. That is not a good sign IMHO. It's still something I might consider. Not sure yet.

Anyway I hope this doesn't make me look obstinent.

 

[mourningdove~]

Quoting the both of you - so far, any serotonin drugs have caused emotional blunting, cognitive impairment, absentmindedness, and brain fog and made me feel absolutely nothing, no emotions. I've tried Prozac, Lexapro, and Cymbalta. I've done Wellbutrin and while it didn't dull my brain as badly as the serotonin drugs did, it made my "drive" way, way too high. It was ridiculous.

I also see why some people resort to meds for certain situations - no matter what you try to do, it seems like a medication can take the edge off things. I just wish they didn't do the damage that they did to me. I think that the damage of the medication were reversed, but I was terrified that it would be permanent.

I think the thing I'm most apprehensive about right now is the half-lives of medications. Fortunately, Prozac's half life was very merciful (I still really don't want to take that again, if I can help it), but I don't want to be beholden to a medication that "has" to be taken at a certain time every day when my schedule is erratic. Every antidepressant I've taken makes me drowsy, without exception, so it must be taken within a certain time range before bed, and from one day to the next I never know what my bedtime will be, or if something will keep me up at night like this incident that caused my dad to go to the hospital.

So it's like - the med can temporarily save you, but it also enslaves you to them, and the enslaving part I always found burdensome when I was on my meds.

There is a lowkey anti-anxiety med called Buspar that I've been before, and it does not cause blunting, but my problem is that I have always grown tolerant of whatever dose I was on and had to up it. That is not a good sign IMHO. It's still something I might consider. Not sure yet.

Anyway I hope this doesn't make me look obstinent.

I don't see you as obstinate at all.

Personally, I have a low tolerance to many medications ... to the point to where I have to be very cautious about trying any new medication, or even health supplement, because I may have an unpleasant reaction to it. (I always keep Benadryl in the medicine cabinet.) Recently, I needed some medication administered for dental treatment. I was sickly for a week after the treatment, due to the medication ... not the treatment. So, I 'get' your concerns.

For my anxiety issues, I switched to decaf coffee years ago. Caffeine makes my anxiety soar! I take magnesium (a powdered form in water) to relax and to help me to sleep. And I take a supplement called L-Theanine that takes 'the edge' off the anxiety when it's troublesome.

In your case, I was specifically thinking about a medication to help you sleep at nite. Something short term, during this time when the stress is high. Don't know about you, but I really don't function very well if I miss too much sleep. So, that's what I had in mind when I mentioned medication ...

 

[FaithT]

I don't see you as obstinate at all.

Personally, I have a low tolerance to many medications ... to the point to where I have to be very cautious about trying any new medication, or even health supplement, because I may have an unpleasant reaction to it. (I always keep Benadryl in the medicine cabinet.) Recently, I needed some medication administered for dental treatment. I was sickly for a week after the treatment, due to the medication ... not the treatment. So, I 'get' your concerns.

For my anxiety issues, I switched to decaf coffee years ago. Caffeine makes my anxiety soar! I take magnesium (a powdered form in water) to relax and to help me to sleep. And I take a supplement called L-Theanine that takes 'the edge' off the anxiety when it's troublesome.

In your case, I was specifically thinking about a medication to help you sleep at nite. Something short term, during this time when the stress is high. Don't know about you, but I really don't function very well if I miss too much sleep. So, that's what I had in mind when I mentioned medication ...

I always drink chamomile tea before bed. It helps me sleep usually. But I’d talk to my doctor first before trying it.