Woman are chasing the top 10% of high value men.

[bèlla]

Yeah, the online dating medium doesn't do well for men. If I even do get a response, when I suggest meeting in person, they ghost me. I think they use online dating sites as just another social media platform for an ego boost/attention.

This is the most looks and status based dating market we've encountered in the modern age. Height and attractiveness weren't barriers for connection to the degree they are now for men. Many say Christian this and that while forgetting they reside in the culture and bear witness to the same within themselves. No one's gone unscathed.

It takes time and maturity to divorce yourself from its influences. Everything around you is embedded with these ideals. Much like leaven, you won't get every morsel but you can minimize its effect. I believe most Christians are single because they're not interested in the one who desires them. They want someone else but the person doesn't feel the same.

There's a noticeable bias in preferences in respect to gender. Most women don't want to be scrutinized for their appearance while maintaining their standards for men. I wouldn't tick her boxes while she picks and chooses what applies. I'd look elsewhere.

Sometimes you have to widen the net and color outside the lines. Don't leave the flock but don't limit your considerations either. Focus on the women who share your values and esteem the opposite sex. Let them have their delusion. They'll have no protector and be forced to rely on other people's benevolence.

I've seen it up close and have relatives who did the same and the reality isn't pretty. We're living longer and no one considers that. Who'll be there for you in the end? Most people are cared for by their spouse or children. Not extended family or members of the church. That isn't the norm.

~bella

 

[ThisIsMe123]

This is the most looks and status based dating market we've encountered in the modern age. Height and attractiveness weren't barriers for connection to the degree they are now for men. Many say Christian this and that while forgetting they reside in the culture and bear witness to the same within themselves. No one's gone unscathed.

It takes time and maturity to divorce yourself from its influences. Everything around you is embedded with these ideals. Much like leaven, you won't get every morsel but you can minimize its effect. I believe most Christians are single because they're not interested in the one who desires them. They want someone else but the person doesn't feel the same.

There's a noticeable bias in preferences in respect to gender. Most women don't want to be scrutinized for their appearance while maintaining their standards for men. I wouldn't tick her boxes while she picks and chooses what applies. I'd look elsewhere.

Sometimes you have to widen the net and color outside the lines. Don't leave the flock but don't limit your considerations either. Focus on the women who share your values and esteem the opposite sex. Let them have their delusion. They'll have no protector and be forced to rely on other people's benevolence.

I've seen it up close and have relatives who did the same and the reality isn't pretty. We're living longer and no one considers that. Who'll be there for you in the end? Most people are cared for by their spouse or children. Not extended family or members of the church. That isn't the norm.

~bella

That's pretty dark, but...yeah, sounds about right.

I recall in other Christian singles message boards where women in church never seen to find the men suitable enough for them to date. They say things like "Yeah, we have single men here, but I would not date any of them"

Someone gave a counter-point, that it's likely the men that are dressing unstylishly or perhaps unkempt, but we can only speculate that.

 

[TheLastGeek]

I actually prefer men who dress casually and don't care at all about what's fashionable. Jeans and tshirt will do just fine!

 

[DragonFox91]

I used to dress super casual but dress more preppy then I used to. I think it's gotten too casual & I want to look good. I want to say it was the Lord's doing. I used to not see the point, but the Lord is with you, you want to look good for him. I don't mind wearing a fun t-shirt once a week or so tho, & this isn't to say he has a dress code (he clothed Adam & Eve in leaves! )

 

[bèlla]

I recall in other Christian singles message boards where women in church never seen to find the men suitable enough for them to date. They say things like "Yeah, we have single men here, but I would not date any of them"

Don't assume the struggle is one-sided. Instagram and Tik-Tok made fitness the new normal. No matter the hashtag you'll find someone working out, eating healthy, and practicing self-care. Losing weight and getting in shape is the new ideal. There's a mental shift underway that appeals to the opposite sex that women initiated.

In a roundabout way we're going backwards. The pendulum has reached its full and order is being restored. That's why Hollywood is slimming down. Women looked different in the past and we're getting back to that and rekindling our femininity.

It isn't a secular trend women are doing the same in christian circles. That's why you have to be careful about judging people. You may find yourself on the outside looking in elsewhere. When you say he must have this and that are you aware what he's compromising on your behalf? For the majority it's physical. You're carrying more weight than you should or you're out of shape but you expect him to overlook it.

And you allow it. That's your problem.

~bella

 

[ThisIsMe123]

I actually prefer men who dress casually and don't care at all about what's fashionable. Jeans and tshirt will do just fine!

That's my kind of woman. I avoid women into that boujee crap.

I had some guy give me fashion tips on how I should dress differently for every season.
I do dress nice when the occasion calls for it. (Slacks and collared shirt).

A woman that was asked by him was shocked because she thought he was gay.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

Don't assume the struggle is one-sided. Instagram and Tik-Tok made fitness the new normal. No matter the hashtag you'll find someone working out, eating healthy, and practicing self-care. Losing weight and getting in shape is the new ideal. There's a mental shift underway that appeals to the opposite sex that women initiated.

In a roundabout way we're going backwards. The pendulum has reached its full and order is being restored. That's why Hollywood is slimming down. Women looked different in the past and we're getting back to that and rekindling our femininity.

It isn't a secular trend women are doing the same in christian circles. That's why you have to be careful about judging people. You may find yourself on the outside looking in elsewhere. When you say he must have this and that are you aware what he's compromising on your behalf? For the majority it's physical. You're carrying more weight than you should or you're out of shape but you expect him to overlook it.

And you allow it. That's your problem.

~bella

Interesting. Trends have me seeing America being the fastest country in the world.
And sadly, other countries are following our example.

 

[timewerx]

Don't assume the struggle is one-sided. Instagram and Tik-Tok made fitness the new normal. No matter the hashtag you'll find someone working out, eating healthy, and practicing self-care. Losing weight and getting in shape is the new ideal. There's a mental shift underway that appeals to the opposite sex that women initiated.

In a roundabout way we're going backwards. The pendulum has reached its full and order is being restored. That's why Hollywood is slimming down. Women looked different in the past and we're getting back to that and rekindling our femininity.

It isn't a secular trend women are doing the same in christian circles. That's why you have to be careful about judging people. You may find yourself on the outside looking in elsewhere. When you say he must have this and that are you aware what he's compromising on your behalf? For the majority it's physical. You're carrying more weight than you should or you're out of shape but you expect him to overlook it.

And you allow it. That's your problem.

~bella

I can't say I disagree.

I'm a fitness enthusiast myself with athletic conditioning and may see things differently. I do see many men are out of shape. Ironically, even the ones I see spending time in the gym are still out of shape.

A woman can still look pretty even with a little bit of fat. A bit of fat doesn't do the same for men. It makes a man look weak.

Have said these, I'm still finding many out-of-shape guys who have girlfriends or married to someone who is in perfect shape. These guys dress and get styled expensively though and it maybe a factor.

Getting in shape for men is not an easy task. It's hard work. Women can put less work in it because a bit of fat doesn't ruin their looks. For a man to look lean requires not only working out but also having discipline and controlling what they eat.

I do it purely for health reasons though. My circumstances prevents me from dating so it's not the looks I'm after but purely for health and avoid spending anything on healthcare (I'm not insured).

If I don't maintain athletic conditioning, I'll experience frequent migraines due to past head injuries. My blood pressure would rise to dangerous levels, requiring maintenance meds and I'm avoiding any additional expense if I could. Besides, Statin meds can have a serious long-term side effects like calcification of blood vessels which can increase risk of heart attack and stroke. I don't use the gym for the reason of avoiding any additional expense. I workout right in our apartment lifting weights or any large enough empty areas within our apartment complex to skate from 1 to 2 hrs.

 

[timewerx]

Interesting. Trends have me seeing America being the fastest country in the world.
And sadly, other countries are following our example.

I live in the opposite side of the world and I noticed the fitness trend exploded all over the world at the same time.

I don't think USA started it. I'm not into insta-tok, twitter, not even facebook so I don't know what is trending at the time but I began my fitness journey shortly before the trend exploded all over the world.

When I started watching instructional videos on youtube, I noticed the dates of the videos and the trend seemingly started all over the world at roughly the same time (2020).

I don't see the fitness trend as a bad one.

Of all the trends that is going on, it is the most productive one both physically and spiritually. It's not easy no matter how it looks. The fact you'll have to set aside time for it in spite of a busy schedule. Then denying yourself from indulging on food.

"Deny yourself and carry your cross". Put some work into it. In the times of Jesus, that's traveling long distances on foot, they didn't have internet, not even radio back then. The most common expression of denying self in the Jewish culture is fasting. Fasting + physical activity will get you lean in no time (the fastest time possible).

Things are way easier now with Internet, TV, radio and workers of the Lord can be overweight now. They're missing role of physical fitness to one's spiritual growth and I'm not talking about yoga. I don't do yoga although I do normal stretching and maintain difficult postures while skating.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

I can't say I disagree.

I'm a fitness enthusiast myself with athletic conditioning and may see things differently. I do see many men are out of shape. Ironically, even the ones I see spending time in the gym are still out of shape.

A woman can still look pretty even with a little bit of fat. A bit of fat doesn't do the same for men. It makes a man look weak.

Have said these, I'm still finding many out-of-shape guys who have girlfriends or married to someone who is in perfect shape. These guys dress and get styled expensively though and it maybe a factor.

Getting in shape for men is not an easy task. It's hard work. Women can put less work in it because a bit of fat doesn't ruin their looks. For a man to look lean requires not only working out but also having discipline and controlling what they eat.

I do it purely for health reasons though. My circumstances prevents me from dating so it's not the looks I'm after but purely for health and avoid spending anything on healthcare (I'm not insured).

If I don't maintain athletic conditioning, I'll experience frequent migraines due to past head injuries. My blood pressure would rise to dangerous levels, requiring maintenance meds and I'm avoiding any additional expense if I could. Besides, Statin meds can have a serious long-term side effects like calcification of blood vessels which can increase risk of heart attack and stroke. I don't use the gym for the reason of avoiding any additional expense. I workout right in our apartment lifting weights or any large enough empty areas within our apartment complex to skate from 1 to 2 hrs.

True...especially if she fills out in all the right areas. I've seen gorgeous chunky women with muscular men. These women weren't obese though. So keep that in mind.

I've seen fit women with men with "dad bods" as they call it now. "Dad bod" typically means, though he's not fat, but you see no real muscle tone in his torso area. You'd say neither fit nor fat. But in-between I guess. That term has it's own definition sometimes.

 

[timewerx]

True...especially if she fills out in all the right areas. I've seen gorgeous chunky women with muscular men. These women weren't obese though. So keep that in mind.

I've seen fit women with men with "dad bods" as they call it now. "Dad bod" typically means, though he's not fat, but you see no real muscle tone in his torso area. You'd say neither fit nor fat. But in-between I guess. That term has it's own definition sometimes.

Some overweight, fatty women who still look incredible with an hourglass or pear-shape may have done some lipo-suction.

It's also trending for women to deliberately fatten themselves up and then do liposuction just around the waist area but not the hips to maintain fat around the butt and hips

It's a lot easier than working out to have bigger muscles on the hips and butt and I do workouts for butt and hips to get faster on skating and cycling and it's a lot of work.

"Dad bods" can be cute but the looks-crazy women would still prefer lean, muscular guys. The ability to project a "reliable dad aura" is considered very attractive to women.

I'm lean but more built for strength and efficiency like the real Spartan build. Not the gym-bod build. The Spartans had to be efficient and it was critical to the success of their unique battlefield strategies. They won with cunning and running their enemies to exhaustion so that all those big muscles of their enemies were rendered useless.

It's really not the looks I'm after but health and practicality. The build I can maintain most efficiently with minimal resources required as the Spartans did.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

Some overweight, fatty women who still look incredible with an hourglass or pear-shape may have done some lipo-suction.

It's also trending for women to deliberately fatten themselves up and then do liposuction just around the waist area but not the hips to maintain fat around the butt and hips

It's a lot easier than working out to have bigger muscles on the hips and butt and I do workouts for butt and hips to get faster on skating and cycling and it's a lot of work.

"Dad bods" can be cute but the looks-crazy women would still prefer lean, muscular guys. The ability to project a "reliable dad aura" is considered very attractive to women.

I'm lean but more built for strength and efficiency like the real Spartan build. Not the gym-bod build. The Spartans had to be efficient and it was critical to the success of their unique battlefield strategies. They won with cunning and running their enemies to exhaustion so that all those big muscles of their enemies were rendered useless.

It's really not the looks I'm after but health and practicality. The build I can maintain most efficiently with minimal resources required as the Spartans did.

Speaking of which...this is crazy, but I know a rather healthy athletic man that is an avid runner. Probably in his late 50s. One day, he had a major heart attack and had to get bypass surgery. I was rather shocked that even an athletic man can have heart disease. I did find out that he didn't eat entirely healthly, but he didn't look unhealthy by looking at him (Spartan look).

So it was mostly genetic.

Anyways, I'm into most body types on women, even the chunk women...so I'm not too picky when it comes to looks. They say women gain weight mostly in two ways, they have the apple shape (they gain weight in the belly, like a man) and the pear shape...the latter tends to be more preferrable.

 

[timewerx]

I did find out that he didn't eat entirely healthly

That's the problem, not genetics. To be healthy you need to exercise and do something about the diet.

What most people don't realize is that food is like a addictive drug. In USA, people are eating way more than the body needs. Creates problems not just in health but also raises cost of food due to high demand, making food harder to afford in poor countries, raises cost of healthcare, etc.

 

[trophy33]

What most people don't realize is that food is like a addictive drug. In USA, people are eating way more than the body needs. Creates problems not just in health but also raises cost of food due to high demand, making food harder to afford in poor countries, raises cost of healthcare, etc.

Common (but it correlates with poverty) people in the USA do not eat too much food, but industrial products. Real food is not addictive. They are obese from high amount of industrial sugars and industrial oils, but in the constant state of malnutrition in the same time. I do not know how it is supposed to cause less or more expensive food in poor countries.

 

[DragonFox91]

I’m starting to think a lot of weight gain is due to medication people are on. I know I gained a lot of weight when I was on medication. A lot of medication people are on they don’t even really need. They call it a drug for a reason. You don’t hear that medication has negative side effects like weight gain, you fix one problem & get another. Prescribing drugs rather than turning to God is the pop thought. & there's big money in it too.

It can’t be food. A lot of people don’t even eat that much food, or they eat very healthy, but it still doesn't matter to their body. I know people starving themsevles, they still can't lose it. It can't be genetics, all this extra weight is a newer probelm. What changed? What else are you putting into your body? Drugs.

& it's hard to tell people drugs are the problem b/c they think they need them, a doctor gave it to them, a doctor says it's good for you, a doctor says you have to have this.

@peaceful-forest you may find this interesting & may want to chime in.

 

[trophy33]

I’m starting to think a lot of weight gain is due to medication people are on. I know I gained a lot of weight when I was on medication. A lot of medication people are on they don’t even really need. They call it a drug for a reason. You don’t hear that medication has negative side effects like weight gain, you fix one problem & get another. Prescribing drugs rather than turning to God is the pop thought. & there's big money in it too.

It can’t be food. A lot of people don’t even eat that much food, or they eat very healthy, but it still doesn't matter to their body. I know people starving themsevles, they still can't lose it. It can't be genetics, all this extra weight is a newer probelm. What changed? What else are you putting into your body? Drugs.

& it's hard to tell people drugs are the problem b/c they think they need them, a doctor gave it to them, a doctor says it's good for you, a doctor says you have to have this.

@peaceful-forest you may find this interesting & may want to chime in.

Yeah, if you unbalance your hormones with medication, then even eating real, healthy food may not be enough, because body with hormonal imbalances cannot process the food properly.
However, its hard to imagine that somebody will gain weight (meaning fat, not water or muscles) while consuming zero carbs, for example.

 

[bèlla]

Interesting. Trends have me seeing America being the fastest country in the world.
And sadly, other countries are following our example.

Thin will be a status symbol much like attractiveness. I didn't put it in my response because that wasn't the point but it's true nonetheless. If you look up "you're not ugly you're broke" or "you're not Tik-Tok pretty" you'll see the videos.

This isn't old school fitness where you go to the gym or change your diet. They've made it a lifestyle where wellness is the priority and that looks different and better too. You're taking care of yourself, dressing well, being productive, doing things you enjoy and so on. It's more well rounded.

~bella

 

[timewerx]

I do not know how it is supposed to cause less or more expensive food in poor countries.

Simple law of supply and demand. Higher demand for food = higher cost of food.

Poor countries also export their food produce. Some ending up in USA. So demand is not just local but there's overseas demand as well. Supplies are limited and fluctuating. Then there is increasing demand both locally and overseas so and the price of food keeps getting higher on average and also fluctuating.

I could no longer afford buying fruits both for me and my mom for example due to high price at present. I had to reduce the purchase to half and I had to stop eating fruits so that my mom can still eat fruits everyday.

Consumerism driving price of basic necessities higher makes things harder for the poorest in society. Sure, there's less % of poor people on the planet today but their struggles on ever increasing prices of basic needs are still the same yesterday.

This is why Jesus did mean some of the things He said about not indulging ourselves. He's not kidding around nor making a figurative gesture. The many things society do as the norm is creating problems for the poorest of society. The demography Jesus cares most about.

 

[bèlla]

Getting in shape for men is not an easy task. It's hard work. Women can put less work in it because a bit of fat doesn't ruin their looks. For a man to look lean requires not only working out but also having discipline and controlling what they eat.

It's difficult for women as well and after a certain point they usually rely on extremes to get it off. Keto is popular for a reason. I don't agree with it but many do.

I do it purely for health reasons though. My circumstances prevents me from dating so it's not the looks I'm after but purely for health and avoid spending anything on healthcare (I'm not insured).

The body looks best when we're in shape and you notice God's handiwork. I prefer a slim silhouette myself. I focus on symmetry and proportion. I think an hourglass with a tiny waist is gorgeous.

If I don't maintain athletic conditioning, I'll experience frequent migraines due to past head injuries.

Wow! Thankfully you have a remedy. Migraines are awful.

~bella

 

[timewerx]

"you're not Tik-Tok pretty" you'll see the videos.

Tik-Tok pretty actually looks ugly to me. The make up styles for women makes them look angry all the time and then there's the full body plastic surgery.

I used to have Alberto comics (Christian comics) as a child. One of the drawings I remember, the 2nd coming of Jesus shows ungodly people trying to hide from Jesus. The women are wearing make up that looks similar to the latest make up trends. Overdone and looking angry. Some of the men in the drawing are also wearing makeup.

Artists have a tendency to draw prophecies or a divine message and not know it. But I know from experience. God seems to use artists, doesn't matter if the artist is a believer or not, to convey a prophecy/message to those who are paying attention.