What's on your mind?

[Michie]

I am so ready for my husband’s eye injury to be completely healed!

 

[MarkSB]

Having a second child is pretty rough. I'm not trying to discourage anyone from having a second child (or children at all), of course... but if you think going from one child to two will be easy, think again. Lol.

And to be clear - I didn't expect it to be easy. But in the back of my mind I thought it would be similar to when we had our first, which wasn't all that bad. But, as I've come to find out, having a second is very different. A second child is not twice the work... it feels more like five to six times the work. And it seems my feelings on this are not unique - because since having our second child, I've read posts from a lot of other parents who feel the same. With one kid, as parents you can give each other breaks by taking the kid yourself. With two kids, that's just not as easy to do (not when one of them is an infant, at least). With two kids, it feels like your spare time is essentially all gone. It's just a different dynamic altogether. The number of kids vs. the time & effort that is required for the parents is certainly not a linear relationship.

Maybe I'm a fool for not realizing all this before having our second child. And I'm not saying I would change anything (both my wife and I wanted two kids - and maybe more, if we were younger). It's just significantly harder and more stressful than I expected. And it's not because our youngest is a difficult baby either, because she isn't. The time constraints are really the biggest challenge right now. I don't think my wife realized that it would be quite this tough/stressful either, but she's handled it like a champ. And of course with breastfeeding and all, she has the tougher role in this whole thing (for the time being, at least).

I know it all changes when they get older and start to be more independent - and I'm excited to see the day when they start playing together. That will be so awesome to see. But right now it feels like that's a long way off. When the baby gets to be on more of a regular schedule (which should be starting in the next 2 months or so), things should also get easier. Just gotta keep thinking positive, and see some light at the end of the tunnel.

Well, we turned a corner with our newborn daughter a few weeks ago. She started sleeping through the night (80% of the time), and I think both my wife and myself have adjusted to having two little ones. The baby is on more of a schedule now during the day as well (which of course isn't really possible in the first 4 months or so - but that varies from child to child), so that also helps.

 

[Michie]

What is the age difference between the children?

 

[MarkSB]

What is the age difference between the children?

3 years. I'm grateful for the gap... lol.

 

[Bumble Bee]

Congratulations on more sleep! My kids have usually done well through the night, but they have also always been early risers.

 

[Michie]

3 years. I'm grateful for the gap... lol.

I bet you are! Lol

 

[Bumble Bee]

Mine are all 2 1/2 years apart. It will probably be a longer gap before my next one. We aren’t ready yet.

 

[MarkSB]

I enjoy most home improvement tasks, but caulking has always been something I despise. Today I may have found a runner up... hanging lattice. Using the vinyl lattice definitely made it much more painless. Not to mention, it looks a lot better. And it was a decent day to be outside.

Hopefully now there will be no more critters (or litters of stray kittens) under the deck.

 

[GodAndChocolateVanilla]

Happy Sabbath everyone!! [Hugs]

Me and my Husband are back together!! Thank You God!!

 

[MarkSB]

Fatherhood is the best. Yeah, it has it's ups and downs (as someone might be able to tell from my previous posts talking about taking care of a baby in the middle of the night), but overall it is an experience that is difficult to describe.

Being a dad feels like it has helped me to relive my childhood in a way, and remember so many things that I had mostly forgotten. I'm an older father as well - since our first wasn't born until I was 40... so it feels like such a blessing in that regard.

If you are willing to self-examine, and willing to grow /change, parenting can be such an illuminating and transformative experience. This, I'm sure, is from God.

And, when I was growing up, things got pretty rough in my family when I was about 8 years old. I like to think that, by the grace of God, maybe I can give my kids a better childhood experience than the one I had. There are still things about growing up in this day and age that concern me (social media, and the current political climate). Growing up in the 80's-90's just seemed so much simpler, from a cultural perspective. Hopefully things can change (at least to some degree) in that regard.

 

[MarkSB]

Mine are all 2 1/2 years apart. It will probably be a longer gap before my next one. We aren’t ready yet.

Yeah - I think we would have more as well if we were both younger. But our last pregnancy was pretty difficult (health-wise) for my wife, even though she is in good health for her age.

 

[Michie]

Fatherhood is the best. Yeah, it has it's ups and downs (as someone might be able to tell from my previous posts talking about taking care of a baby in the middle of the night), but overall it is an experience that is difficult to describe.

Being a dad feels like it has helped me to relive my childhood in a way, and remember so many things that I had mostly forgotten. I'm an older father as well - since our first wasn't born until I was 40... so it feels like such a blessing in that regard.

If you are willing to self-examine, and willing to grow /change, parenting can be such an illuminating and transformative experience. This, I'm sure, is from God.

And, when I was growing up, things got pretty rough in my family when I was about 8 years old. I like to think that, by the grace of God, maybe I can give my kids a better childhood experience than the one I had. There are still things about growing up in this day and age that concern me (social media, and the current political climate). Growing up in the 80's-90's just seemed so much simpler, from a cultural perspective. Hopefully things can change (at least to some degree) in that regard.

What a wonderful attitude Mark. Prayers for you and your family. May your intentions be blessed.

 

[Bumble Bee]

My children have a hard time going to sleep at night, and are early risers in the mornings

 

[MarkSB]

My children have a hard time going to sleep at night, and are early risers in the mornings

Yeah, that can be pretty rough. Our son (who is almost 4 now) started sleeping through the night at 8 weeks, and is pretty consistent with his sleeping patterns. Our daughter (9 months) is a different story. She just started sleeping through the night consistently about 4-5 weeks ago. Putting her to bed can be pretty rough (with crying) as well, but that has also gotten better lately.

I spent the entire day with her today... which I haven't done for a while, since mom has summers off, but has now gone back to work. It's difficult to describe... but she's a funny girl. Getting her to smile has always been pretty easy... and she has this thing where she claps her hands and giggles or gets excited while she's clapping. The moments when she chooses to do it can be comical sometimes. (Big brother runs across the room and dives onto the floor like a goof, and she starts clapping, lol.)

She started shaking her head "no" recently, but she doesn't know what it means. She'll shake her head "no" to the first spoonful of baby food, then will eat the whole container as usual.

 

[ariekitten]

Hi, I was married 6 years ago to a wonderful missionary who got ill on mission and essentially retired. No, he's really not old enough to retire, but he ministers whenever he can to whomever will listen.
Marriage was scary for me, because it's hard enough to find my place in the world without having to re-align as "his wife" and all the people, places, etc that entail his world (in Europe) (I'm American)....but it's been a wonderful, wild ride, and we're sharing it with Jesus!
A marriage speaker at a local church said marriage is like a tripod...two legs that need a third to stand...God being the third. Where humans fail, and we know they will because all humans are fallible, God will supplement any needs to keep the marriage fleshed out and healthy. Now we're waiting on the blessing of children...I know God's promised it, but it hasn't happened yet. We're open to as many as the Lord will give. We settled in my home state of Texas, but we still travel to Europe to visit his family every year.
Congrats on your life-changing decision, and if you'll be serious about it, it will serve you more than you could imagine!

 

[Toro]

Have a cat