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Indeed. I myself feel that embracing universalism due to personal tragedy is the wrong approach; the right thing to do is simply to pray for the deceased, appealing to the infinite mercy of Christ our True God, and seeking the intercession of the Theotokos and all the saints. God is extremely loving.
The reality is that there are some people who really hate God, who really hate Jesus Christ, and who do not want to spend eternity with Him, and God is loving to the point where he will not require that of them, as we have previously discussed.
Neither you nor I have any idea of the soul's response upon being brought into the light of Christ's presence and seeing Him clearly for the first time. In this life, we are deceived, have corrupt natures, suffer the effects of the fall, and are misled by many false teachers who teach us things we either should not know or that bend our hearts away from Christ. We have seen more than one example of people here on earth who are filled with hatred for a certain person or group of people who have, upon getting to know that person or those people, have changed their minds and repented of what they thought and did.
Also, are you saying that it is impossible for God to heal them of their hatred of Him? Did God create mankind foreknowing that the fall would produce this effect without having a plan for the redemption of all things, including those who hate Him most in this life? Sorry, but I'm not buying it, because if He did create mankind in foreknowledge of the fall but without a plan for the healing of even the worst among us, then it means something unthinkable - that just as the Calvinists teach, God predestined billions to an eternity of torment, and it was His will from the beginning.
The problem with universalism is that it represents, at best, a form of monergism in which people are forced into heaven even against their will, and at worse, if we look at the writings of, for example, the Assyrian bishop of Basra in The Book of the Bee, wherein sinners receive “stripes” in Hell before being admitted to Paradise, a scenario in which, if one combines that with earlier models of Apokatastasis such as one sees in Origen and St. Gregory of Nyssa, the horrifying thought of God basically torturing people until they decide they love him, and this is wrong.
Which is weird to hear anyone Orthodox say this because we don't believe this concept of God torturing people. We believe the torments experienced in the next life come from all falsehood being stripped away and our having to face the raw and very painful truth of who we were, what we did, and worst of all, the people we hurt. I had an experience - a very small one - of this many years ago when I was staying at Holy Trinity Monastery. I thought myself a good Christian, but the last night I was there, I was given an experience of seeing myself in truth in regard to how I had treated my deceased wife. I had been very selfish and unloving - not in any physically or mentally abusive sense - but in the way I ignored her as we slowly drifted apart. I deeply realized what I had done, and I will tell you this - the pain of that knowledge was almost unbearable. It felt like a fire in my mind. I spent the night weeping and repenting of how awful I had been. This experience was the harsh and tough answer to my question of whether or not I should be a monastic. The answer was "NO. Now go back home and learn how to love people."
This is what each of us will experience in the next life when we stand before Christ. All our falsehoods will be stripped away and we will see ourselves in the light of His truth. I expect it to be in truth "the dread Judgment Seat of God"
Metropolitan Kallistos Ware, memory eternal, actually provided the best argument against universalism when he asserted the one thing God cannot do is force us to love Him. True love must be voluntary. @ArmyMatt and I recently had a conversation where we found ourselves in blissful agreement on these issues, which was a relief to me, since I look up to @ArmyMatt as being a very good mentor in regards to the specific dogmatic theology of Eastern Orthodoxy.
It is not forcing someone to love Him when the blinders are taken away, the falsehoods removed, and we see Him in all His beauty for the first time in our existence. To love He who is beautiful will be the soul's desire at that point. Who could possibly love sin and hate Christ upon coming into a true experience of Him?
What you have posted is the "free-will theodicy" of hell, the idea that God must respect our will and choice. And yes, most certainly, love cannot be forced. But thanks be to God, that He has the ability to change the focus of our desire without violating our will. He is my personal response to that:
If God had respected my free will, I would still be involved in a panoply of sins so disgusting and heinous that I will not mention them here. Or I would now be long dead and gone from this world. Given the severity of my wickedness and the insanity of my actions, I think probably the latter. Think of the Hippie Movement of the 1960’s and imagine every licentious, dirty, and wicked thing that the Movement promoted. That was me, and that was my “free will choice,” so to speak. I loved the sins of the flesh, I had declared myself an atheist, and I despised Christians. I wanted nothing at all to do with them or their Jesus. That was my free will. Go away God! Go away Christians!
So how did I come to the point of repenting and turning to Christ in sorrow for my sins? Did God overtake and remove my free will, eliciting from me a robotic response of repentance which He desired? Was my will violated in such a manner that I had no choice but to do what I was told?
No, God simply let me run out my string.
There is a saying in the Twelve Steps book of AA which says that you cannot make an addict change until he has hit the bottom and is watching his last bubble of air float to the surface. That is exactly what God did with me, allowing me to, of my own “free will,” hit the bottom and realize that all the “fun” I was having was about to kill me. Far from the sense of carnal excitement I felt when I took my first hit of marijuana, my life had become, in four years of unrestrained hedonism, a joyless tedium racked with sorrow and drug-induced psychosis. I was in deep trouble, and I knew it, filled with suicidal thoughts but dreadfully scared of the black void which my atheism said was the ultimate end of man. Of my own free will, I began an intense search for the garden gate which offered escape from this fool’s paradise into which I had eagerly dashed. No one had to tell me it was get out or die–and no one was coercing me! I had come to the point that I knew it was the only option left for me. Yet even then, I could have chosen to shake my fist at God and die. I took the choice to live and began my search.
The gate out of my individual hell came in the shape of a cross.
Did God in any way violate my free will? Or did He simply allow me to come to a point where the foolishness, the vanity, and the destructiveness of my choices could no longer be ignored, and the joys of unrestrained hedonism were not worth the price I was paying?
This is the answer to an often-heard objection to Apokatastasis: if God saves everyone, it will be against their free-will choice to reject Him, thus making robots out of them. The author shows how all God must do, either here, or in the next life for those who are particularly stubborn or particularly deceived in this life, is to let us experience the consequence of what we have chosen. And as Talbot said, once the mind is cleared of all false visions, deceits, and psychological barricades, only an insane person would choose against his best interest and select eternal torment as his final resting place.
Thomas Talbott has written on this in his book THE INESCAPABLE LOVE OF GOD, and he answers all objections having to do with "free-will theodicy."
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