why do so many guys complain about women having high standards?

[KJ91]

its common sense that woman want a good looking, tall , strong guy who has money. why would woman settle for average/unattractive short men who dont have money when they can get much better? stop trying to change women and tell them who they should date and be together with. you cant change biology. women work the way they do because thats how God made them. some guys act like they are owned something.

 

[TheRealAriel]

I think it goes both ways, but I agree you definitely primarily see it with men complaining about women around here.

I just never understood it. If somebody has taste that excludes you, do you really think you’re going to fix anything by whining about it? Just move on, that wasn’t your person. People are allowed to have preferences whether another person agrees with them or not.

I will say though, people may benefit from really reflecting on their laundry list of preferences. I find it a lot now on dating sites. These men with no jobs, aren’t particularly good looking, really have nothing that suggests them will write out this long list on their profile of all the things the woman they are looking for must be to be worthy of them. If you have a huge list of standards, you may want to ask yourself if you’re the kind of person somebody who lives up to those standards would be looking for.

 

[timewerx]

its common sense that woman want a good looking, tall , strong guy who has money. why would woman settle for average/unattractive short men who dont have money when they can get much better? stop trying to change women and tell them who they should date and be together with. you cant change biology. women work the way they do because thats how God made them. some guys act like they are owned something.

No, that's not how God made women. It's the lies of this materialistic world that made women think that way.

Ironically, since men have always controlled the destiny of this corrupt world for a good part of history, men are to blame if you find women to be misbehaving.

 

[Lost4words]

I like a lady who is short, has lovely eyes, nice breath, a shiny coat and a belly that doesnt touch the ground! Woof!

 

[trophy33]

Well, you cannot complain that women are women any more than complain that a table is a table and has 4 legs.

It does not mean you must accept the deal and complicate your life, though. The decision is yours.

 

[MehGuy]

its common sense that woman want a good looking, tall , strong guy who has money. why would woman settle for average/unattractive short men who dont have money when they can get much better? stop trying to change women and tell them who they should date and be together with. you cant change biology. women work the way they do because thats how God made them. some guys act like they are owned something.

Men prefer women who are beautiful and are at their fertile peak, yet many women call men sexist and delusional for desiring such women.

What's different when an older, overweight woman complains about there being no good men around?

I don't believe in God, but it's pretty ridiculous to think that men don't have inborn preferences too. Or that women are somehow the more moral sex and don't engage in entitlement and manipulative thinking on their part. They just tend to use different language to describe their frustrations.

 

[MehGuy]

While I believe it's a good thing for both genders to make peace and accept that we all have our preferences... with mainstream feminism and the mocking of men who dare to speak about their issues... I don't really see how it will ever be possible for the current generation.

 

[dzheremi]

Breaking News: You don't have to listen to 'mainstream feminism', and you don't have to date women who do. "But that's the vast majority of women in my country!" Yeah, well...maybe we should take a page from women on this, then, and not accept attention from anyone just because we're desperate to not be alone. Being desperate to not be alone doesn't even lead to healthy, lasting relationships anyway, so what do we have to lose by not doing that?

A lot of this complaining is men being irritated that we have to (ugh) do things to make ourselves attractive to women. "But a woman can just walk in any place in some yoga pants and a messy bun and have 50 guys immediately after her number! How's that fair?!" You're right, hypothetical guy who argues like an actual guy who gets mad about this stuff, that's not fair, but that's also not how women made it. That's how men made it by caring more about a woman being 'available' to us than about her maintaining standards that women supposedly had in the good old days, whenever you think that is. Things were so much better before women had options and opinions and stuff, weren't they?

I think what we're seeing nowadays (with 20% of men getting 80% of women, or whatever the statistic is) is what we would have always seen, if it had been an option before relatively recently. But now that the online world allows women to hold out for a hot guy in another state or country if she's surrounded by uggos in her lousy little podunk town, guys in the same little podunk town don't like it. I don't blame them, but I'm not about to get all incel-y about it or whatever. Time spent bemoaning what you cannot change is time not spent working on what you actually can change. And OP is right: you can't change how other people approach relationships. You can only change how you do.

 

[MehGuy]

Men respond in more overt anger because that's how evolutionary pressures have left us. Feminism isn't actually progressive... so men still feel the need to act out in anger to get their voice heard. Maybe if we actually challenged gender roles men would feel compelled to act differently... but for now.. body positivity culturally is a feminine thing.. and any self-aware man has no business in being a productive part of it.

 

[timewerx]

While I believe it's a good thing for both genders to make peace and accept that we all have our preferences... with mainstream feminism and the mocking of men who dare to speak about their issues... I don't really see how it will ever be possible for the current generation.

But these preferences are unnatural. They are driven by self-destructive desires brought by this corrupt and self-destructive society.

No other species has been this destructive, self-destructive as mankind. That's what makes it unnatural. We're a plague upon this planet, the worst of its kind.

 

[Sketcher]

its common sense that woman want a good looking, tall , strong guy who has money. why would woman settle for average/unattractive short men who dont have money when they can get much better? stop trying to change women and tell them who they should date and be together with. you cant change biology. women work the way they do because thats how God made them. some guys act like they are owned something.

By the same token, there are women who can't get (and keep) much better who also insist on much better. If she's a 5 and thinks getting man who's a 5 is "settling" then she has an inflated view of herself.

 

[trophy33]

But these preferences are unnatural. They are driven by self-destructive desires brought by this corrupt and self-destructive society.

No other species has been this destructive, self-destructive as mankind. That's what makes it unnatural. We're a plague upon this planet, the worst of its kind.

Actually, its quite common in nature that females create harems around few top males.

So, I would argue that this behavior is in fact natural. Monogamy is a social and religious rule that came later, because that natural behavior makes higher, more civilized societies, unstable.

Modern dating allowed this natural behavior to make a comeback. Modern monogamous men have basically two choices: either be the top man for the girl you want or stay single and live your life without this constant biological and psychological struggle/drama.

 

[trophy33]

By the same token, there are women who can't get (and keep) much better who also insist on much better. If she's a 5 and thinks getting man who's a 5 is "settling" then she has an inflated view of herself.

But thats natural. In most nature documentaries about mating, you will see common, average, grey females judging the most colorful, the most strong and the most healthy males who are competing for her. She will then choose the best one (being very average herself) to procreate with.

 

[timewerx]

Actually, its quite common in nature that females create harems around few top males.

So, I would argue that this behavior is in fact natural. Monogamy is a social and religious rule that came later, because that natural behavior makes higher, more civilized societies, unstable.

Modern dating allowed this natural behavior to make a comeback. Modern monogamous men have basically two choices: either be the top man for the girl you want or stay single and live your life without this constant biological and psychological struggle/drama.

Animals don't mess up the equilibrium of their environment. But we do it far worse than even the most invasive / destructive plagues on the planet.

At some point, it would lead to own destruction.

Animals don't select their mates that leads to an equilibrium-tipping disaster. But we do. This is why I think our selection process is not natural.

 

[trophy33]

Animals don't mess up the equilibrium of their environment. But we do it far worse than even the most invasive / destructive plagues on the planet.

At some point, it would lead to own destruction.

Animals don't select their mates that leads to an equilibrium-tipping disaster. But we do. This is why I think our selection process is not natural.

What disaster do you have in mind? Sure, more and more men stay (happily) single and more and more women are (mostly unhappily) single mothers dependent on state benefits or on money of their ex(-es).

Its a step back in society and it may seem frustrating to some who had different ideas for their life, but disaster? Depends on the definition, I guess. We are free to choose our path and not to fall into such pitfalls, if we understand them. Rationality and sustainability is missing from the most of modern dating, its all built on primitive impulsive desires - but any individual man and woman can change themselves, if they want something better.

 

[timewerx]

What disaster do you have in mind? Sure, more and more men stay (happily) single and more and more women are (mostly unhappily) single mothers dependent on state benefits or on money of their ex(-es).

Its a step back in society and it may seem frustrating to some who had different ideas for their life, but disaster? Depends on the definition, I guess. We are free to choose our path and not to fall into such pitfalls, if we understand them. Rationality and sustainability is missing from the most of modern dating, its all built on primitive impulsive desires - but any individual man and woman can change themselves, if they want something better.

To upset the delicate balance of the ecosystem is a disaster. But even if we ignore such problem, women's choice of partners is still unnatural.

For example women are favors men who are mentally ill. Those with excessive amount of greed. While men tends to be attracted to women who prefers mentally ill men which makes both of them mentally ill!

While Greed is also important to animals but not to the same level our society sees as "attractive". The level of greed our society sees as attractive is at a dysfunctional level.

You know why divorce is so common? Because women chose men who are sick in the head with excessive greed, the man's greedy behavior spills over to their sexual preferences as well they cheat. Cheating is the #1 reason for divorce.

Divorce causes major drain in resources and even psychological trauma to everyone involved. No animal makes plans that are likely to fail, cost them dearly, and entirely their fault. Because their evolutionary instincts kicks in....

Humanity doesn't have this evolutionary safeguard because people have been producing children with mentally ill partners for many generations.

Ofc our society doesn't see this as a problem if your "problem" also made you rich. It's the only thing this society cares about. If you're making lots of money, either because you're very greedy or you married a very greedy person, you don't have a problem, in fact, you have the opposite of a problem!

Eventually, families and relationships will become so dysfunctional, we'll just cease to matter. Love will cease to exist. The Bible prophesied that day will come so it's not like it's totally unexpected. We've been getting there slowly. Even Christians are getting there slowly (were they Christians in the first place??)

 

[Sketcher]

But thats natural. In most nature documentaries about mating, you will see common, average, grey females judging the most colorful, the most strong and the most healthy males who are competing for her. She will then choose the best one (being very average herself) to procreate with.

But that male has a preference too. He's not going to commit to her if he doesn't want to. If a man is a 9, then it's not just the female 1-5s that want him, but also the 6-9s that want him. Why would he settle for a 5 if he can bag a 9? If he's the kind of guy who will use a woman for sex he might have a 5 for a one night stand or have her on the side, but he has no reason to wife her because the other 5s, 6s, 7s, 8s, and 9s want a piece of him too and he can get them. If she wants to be a wife, it would behoove her to be content with the men who would actually be willing to wife her up, and to honor and cherish the man who does instead of "settling" for him. He's probably going to be another 5 himself.

 

[DragonFox91]

I would say it’s b/c society many times likes to pretend they have little standards.

 

[timewerx]

I would say it’s b/c society many times likes to pretend they have little standards.

They feed us with nothing but lies.

Like racial diversity. They promote this semblance of racial diversity but only if Blacks, Hispanics, and Asians would behave like Whites and embrace the White culture over their own.

This because we live in a dysfunctional society.

 

[Niels]

Because they feel like complaining. It's easier to complain than to be productive. Most of them have goals, responsibilities, and hobbies that they would be better off focusing on.