Hello all. I converted 12 years ago. Those years walking with the light of the Lord were the most beautiful of my life. But unfortunately, for some reasons I fell back in sins, for 5 years. I made the mistake of taking God for granted, thinking "I will comeback, but not right away". I knew I had to repent, but I kept delaying it. Now I realise how fool I was.
Now it's been 4 months since I've been trying to reconnect with God. I repented and I think I was sincere. But the problem is that living far from God for that long ended up making me depressed. I want to live with God, I know we depend on Him. But the problem is that even if I seek him, my mental state doesn't seem to improve. I don't feel like doing anything anymore. I really have hard time getting out of my bed. All I do is working, eating and sleeping. Being in this state makes it hard for me to believe I'm forgiven. And even when I think I am, I don't feel enthousiasm toward God.
I've been isolated for a long time too. I pray, read the Bible, but I don't go to church, and don't really have any christian friends. Maybe I would feel better if I went to church and made some friends out there. So I will try to motivate myself and go to church... maybe it will help but I doubt a lot about that. I'm afraid that living in sins for that long made too much damage in my heart and hardened it. I pray God so changes my heart, gives me back my joy, makes me feel like obeying him, but nothing happen. I just don't sin and I don't want to sin, but I don't do anything with my life either.
I would give everything to recover the relationship I used to have with God at the beginning of my Christian life. I felt on fire for Him, but for some reasons I fell away. Now I try to come back but I don't feel any positive emotion.
I have hard time to phrase what I'm going through, and my english is not very good, but basically that's it. I'm afraid God left me on my own for always. If you have any advice, or any word of encouragement for me I will take them.
Now it's been 4 months since I've been trying to reconnect with God. I repented and I think I was sincere. But the problem is that living far from God for that long ended up making me depressed. I want to live with God, I know we depend on Him. But the problem is that even if I seek him, my mental state doesn't seem to improve. I don't feel like doing anything anymore. I really have hard time getting out of my bed. All I do is working, eating and sleeping. Being in this state makes it hard for me to believe I'm forgiven. And even when I think I am, I don't feel enthousiasm toward God.
I've been isolated for a long time too. I pray, read the Bible, but I don't go to church, and don't really have any christian friends. Maybe I would feel better if I went to church and made some friends out there. So I will try to motivate myself and go to church... maybe it will help but I doubt a lot about that. I'm afraid that living in sins for that long made too much damage in my heart and hardened it. I pray God so changes my heart, gives me back my joy, makes me feel like obeying him, but nothing happen. I just don't sin and I don't want to sin, but I don't do anything with my life either.
I would give everything to recover the relationship I used to have with God at the beginning of my Christian life. I felt on fire for Him, but for some reasons I fell away. Now I try to come back but I don't feel any positive emotion.
I have hard time to phrase what I'm going through, and my english is not very good, but basically that's it. I'm afraid God left me on my own for always. If you have any advice, or any word of encouragement for me I will take them.