- Feb 10, 2013
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How do you make friends when you are in your late 20s and do not know anyone?
Thank you BellaI posted something on this a few days ago on the mind thread that’s really insightful. The best way to form connections is to lead with interest. Dale Carnegie was right. People are more interested in themselves.
The way you get acquainted is by asking questions. Discover their likes and interests and look for common denominators. Chime in with your own.
Tier your expectations to the measure of familiarity. You’re not going to have deep conversations with strangers or share your personal struggles off the bat. You haven’t developed trust and investment and that must occur beforehand.
Oversharing is a common mistake. Don’t share your woes or life story. It isn’t time for that. You’re looking for mutuality in the beginning. As the relationship builds you share more personal things over time.
Friends aren’t therapists. There has to be balance in your discourse. If its always heavy or heavy laden they’ll begin to pull back. Everyone has challenging seasons but it can’t be the norm.
When you find common denominators explore them. Ask for suggestions in that are or recommend some yourself. That’s the initial step in helping. Find ways to be of assistance. And offer encouragement. If they’re working towards something offer to pray on their behalf and ask how they’re doing. That’s where investment begins.
Deep connections are formed over time. They don’t happen overnight. Look for a group for young catholics in your area. And if you can’t find one look for one at a protestant church. They usually have a twenties group. You don’t have to be a member to join.
You’ll counter the loneliness by doing so and have others willing to pray on your behalf. You’ll have more social opportunities in that setting. Don’t allow differences to keep you away. If they have a prayer list or intecessors talk to them and share your burdens. Let them pray on your behalf.
Pray for godly friends and for assistance on how to be the same in return. Here’s something on the subject addressed to men. The book is really good and I recommend reading it.
According to Justin Erickson, Seven Friendships Every Man Needs includes:
Paul - Godly mentor to Disciple you
Timothy - Faithful Disciple to follow you
Barnabas - Solid Peer to Encourage you
Jonathan - Best Friend to uphold you
Nathan - Courageous Brother to confront you
Zacchaeus - Lost Seeker to hear you
Jesus - Gracious Savior to redeem you