The worst mistake of my life

[BenCollyer91]

In may last year I met a nice girl, we had an instant connection and I wanted to share the gospel with her, at the time I met her I'd been in rebellion against God for a few years, God spoke to me 3 times in the space of 2 weeks after meeting her

the first thing he said was "I am the source of peace and joy"

secondly, he showed me an image of her walking in a beautiful garden, alone, looking intoxicated with the love of an invisible being

thirdly, he reminded me of the story of abraham and isaac, i hadnt read or thought about that story for years but I suddenly remembered it

I began fornicating with this woman and impregated her

shortly after becoming pregnant she came to church with me and was so moved by the presence of the spirit she burst into tears, and from then on said she was a believer, and she showed evidence of repentance

yet I continued fornicating and began to mistreat her, after 6 more months she left me, and cut off contact completely

its been 4 months since we spoke, and I feel that I potentially ruined Gods beautiful plan for me and her. it was like a beautiful marriage with her was Gods plan A for me, and now I have to settle for some kind of Plan D

how does one cope, when they have thrown away Gods greatest earthly blessing of a partner?

 

[Petros2015]

he showed me an image of her walking in a beautiful garden, alone, looking intoxicated with the love of an invisible being

I feel that I potentially ruined Gods beautiful plan for me and her.

Don't be so sure.
It's possible you ruined your plan for her, but God may still be implementing His plan for her.

 

[BenCollyer91]

Don't be so sure.
It's possible you ruined your plan for her, but God may still be implementing His plan for her.

Yes I agree, its interesting that he used me to bring her to church despite clearly warning me to end the relationship

 

[Jesus is my Superhero]

You need to think about your behavior towards others and how you can improve in this area. This will ensure your future isn't as difficult as it could be.

 

[Petros2015]

and now I have to settle for some kind of Plan D

But if we abuse and mistreat others, we are asking them to settle for plan F, aren't we?
What do you think plan A is?
Plan A might include a loving partner to match and support you and be supported by you.
But, be assured, whatever our idols are, we will sacrifice the things we love most on their altars.

Abraham knew this best.

 

[BenCollyer91]

But if we abuse and mistreat others, we are asking them to settle for plan F, aren't we?
What do you think plan A is?
Plan A might include a loving partner to match and support you and be supported by you.
But, be assured, whatever our idols are, we will sacrifice the things we love most on their altars.

Abraham knew this best.

Im not sure what God intended when he reminded me of abraham and isaac, any idea?

 

[Tolworth John]

yet I continued fornicating and began to mistreat her, after 6 more months she left me, and cut off contact completely

its been 4 months since we spoke,

You are every Fathers nightmare, a horny unpricipaled male who cares nothing for his daughter or for her child.
Yes you are a Father now.
Are you going to learn from what scripture planly teaches?
Are you ready to suport your child finacially?
Are you prepared to start living as a Christian should?

Sort your self out with God and start talking to some of the older men in your church about Christian manhood.

 

[chevyontheriver]

Im not sure what God intended when he reminded me of abraham and isaac, any idea?

That you have to be willing to sacrifice anything and everything. That God will provide. Not that God will guarantee your plans A or B or C or D or E.

 

[BenCollyer91]

That you have to be willing to sacrifice anything and everything. That God will provide. Not that God will guarantee your plans A or B or C or D or E.

how did that relate to my dating this woman though?

 

[BenCollyer91]

You are every Fathers nightmare, a horny unpricipaled male who cares nothing for his daughter or for her child.
Yes you are a Father now.
Are you going to learn from what scripture planly teaches?
Are you ready to suport your child finacially?
Are you prepared to start living as a Christian should?

Sort your self out with God and start talking to some of the older men in your church about Christian manhood.

I am prepared to do these things, I hope that her mother, in turn, will deepen her relationship with God and seek to live as a christian should, I do want any unbelieving man step fathering my daughter

 

[chevyontheriver]

how did that relate to my dating this woman though?

Did you look out for what was best for this woman? Or take advantage of a new believer? Did God call you to do something, asking you to stay your hand from your plan? I donno. I wasn't there. But at very least you, as a mentor in the faith to this woman, should have figured out how to keep your pants on until perhaps you would marry. I know nobody does that any more and people know they have to grab for what they can when they can, but were you listening to God? How has sex before marriage messed up this woman? Does her new faith survive? That is more important than your plans. Are you willing to sacrifice a relationship with her for her best interests? Again, I donno. I'm way too remote to know if I'm even on target.

 

[Aussie Pete]

In may last year I met a nice girl, we had an instant connection and I wanted to share the gospel with her, at the time I met her I'd been in rebellion against God for a few years, God spoke to me 3 times in the space of 2 weeks after meeting her

the first thing he said was "I am the source of peace and joy"

secondly, he showed me an image of her walking in a beautiful garden, alone, looking intoxicated with the love of an invisible being

thirdly, he reminded me of the story of abraham and isaac, i hadnt read or thought about that story for years but I suddenly remembered it

I began fornicating with this woman and impregated her

shortly after becoming pregnant she came to church with me and was so moved by the presence of the spirit she burst into tears, and from then on said she was a believer, and she showed evidence of repentance

yet I continued fornicating and began to mistreat her, after 6 more months she left me, and cut off contact completely

its been 4 months since we spoke, and I feel that I potentially ruined Gods beautiful plan for me and her. it was like a beautiful marriage with her was Gods plan A for me, and now I have to settle for some kind of Plan D

how does one cope, when they have thrown away Gods greatest earthly blessing of a partner?

God somehow sorted out the mess with David and Bathsheba. It was Solomon, Bathsheba's child, who inherited the throne. God works all things for good for those who love Him. There is nothing like a disaster like this to humble us. That is painful, but maybe that is exactly what you needed. I know this from experience, not exactly the same, but just as traumatic. It led me to find a mentor who was the greatest influence in my Christian life. God can do something like that for you too.

 

[RaymondG]

how does one cope, when they have thrown away Gods greatest earthly blessing of a partner?

1st, I would start taking credit for my own desires and choices and stop putting them all on God.

I do want any unbelieving man step fathering my daughter

2nd, I would stop believing that I am any better that any unbelieving man.

I am prepared to do these things, I hope that her mother, in turn, will deepen her relationship with God and seek to live as a christian should

Last, I would not think about anyone else relationship with God until my own relationship with Him was perfect.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

yet I continued fornicating and began to mistreat her, after 6 more months she left me, and cut off contact completely

Consider letting His Holy Spirit work in your life in order to obtain real repentance in your life. Thus far you have been quenching Him. You can not do it alone. Be blessed.

 

[Tolworth John]

I am prepared to do these things, I hope that her mother, in turn, will deepen her relationship with God and seek to live as a christian should, I do want any unbelieving man step fathering my daughter

All I can suggest is to write to her. apologise for you behaviour, and offer what ever support she is prepared to accept from you.

 

[aiki]

In may last year I met a nice girl, we had an instant connection and I wanted to share the gospel with her, at the time I met her I'd been in rebellion against God for a few years, God spoke to me 3 times in the space of 2 weeks after meeting her

the first thing he said was "I am the source of peace and joy"

secondly, he showed me an image of her walking in a beautiful garden, alone, looking intoxicated with the love of an invisible being

thirdly, he reminded me of the story of abraham and isaac, i hadnt read or thought about that story for years but I suddenly remembered it

I began fornicating with this woman and impregated her

shortly after becoming pregnant she came to church with me and was so moved by the presence of the spirit she burst into tears, and from then on said she was a believer, and she showed evidence of repentance

yet I continued fornicating and began to mistreat her, after 6 more months she left me, and cut off contact completely

its been 4 months since we spoke, and I feel that I potentially ruined Gods beautiful plan for me and her. it was like a beautiful marriage with her was Gods plan A for me, and now I have to settle for some kind of Plan D

how does one cope, when they have thrown away Gods greatest earthly blessing of a partner?

Romans 6:23
23 For the wages of sin is death...

Galatians 6:7-8
7 Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.
8 For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.

James 1:14-15
14 But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.
15 Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.

Romans 8:6-8
6 For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.
7 For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot.
8 Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

John 14:23-24
23 Jesus answered him, “If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.
24 Whoever does not love me does not keep my words...

Matthew 22:35-38
35 And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him.
36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?”
37 And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.
38 This is the great and first commandment.

James 4:7-10
7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
9 Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom.
10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.

1 John 1:9
9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

 

[bèlla]

There's no guarantee God intended you to be together. That's your perception and it's probably wrong. You keep mentioning unbelievers. But your conduct is worse. You want Him to redeem this. But I wouldn't take you back. I doubt anyone is advising the same.

Focus on your healing and spiritual growth. Allow the Lord to teach you how to be a better man and father. Stop trying to control her and say what she should and shouldn't do. Talking like that will result in limited visitation.

No judge will listen to a rant about unsaved men when you've abused her.

~bella

 

[Michie]

In may last year I met a nice girl, we had an instant connection and I wanted to share the gospel with her, at the time I met her I'd been in rebellion against God for a few years, God spoke to me 3 times in the space of 2 weeks after meeting her

the first thing he said was "I am the source of peace and joy"

secondly, he showed me an image of her walking in a beautiful garden, alone, looking intoxicated with the love of an invisible being

thirdly, he reminded me of the story of abraham and isaac, i hadnt read or thought about that story for years but I suddenly remembered it

I began fornicating with this woman and impregated her

shortly after becoming pregnant she came to church with me and was so moved by the presence of the spirit she burst into tears, and from then on said she was a believer, and she showed evidence of repentance

yet I continued fornicating and began to mistreat her, after 6 more months she left me, and cut off contact completely

its been 4 months since we spoke, and I feel that I potentially ruined Gods beautiful plan for me and her. it was like a beautiful marriage with her was Gods plan A for me, and now I have to settle for some kind of Plan D

how does one cope, when they have thrown away Gods greatest earthly blessing of a partner?

You gave that girl an awful witness. I hope you’ve learned your lesson.

 

[d taylor]

Sometimes i believe post like this are just to get a laugh out of or at christians expense.

Some of this, his post, is just hard to believe, especially the God speaking to me parts.

Like this:
shortly after becoming pregnant she came to church with me and was so moved by the presence of the spirit she burst into tears, and from then on said she was a believer

A believer in what, sounds like an emotional fling

 

[bèlla]

Sometimes i believe post like this are just to get a laugh out of or at christians expense.

Some of this, his post, is just hard to believe, especially the God speaking to me parts.

I'd be inclined to agree. But there's a lot of posts like this. I've replied to several. People get an idea and run with it and add God to the picture. They convince themselves their carnal desire is blessed by Him.

In 99% of the scenarios one person is hung up on the other. Either they don't reciprocate or they've moved on. The other is clinging, crying, and hoping for divine intervention. I've yet to see an update to say it happened.

You can't build a future on a one-sided love. Just because you want them doesn't mean God's in it. What they really want isn't consensual. They want Him to make the other feel the same. That crosses a line for me.