Criticism

[Rescued One]

You're too slow. Your sister will cook dinner because we want to eat before bedtime.

Why aren't your grades as good as your sister's?

Why are you dressed like that --- that blouse doesn't go with that skirt!

Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Why didn't you dress up for this special occasion?

Can someone add a few more insults to my thread?

 

[Dave G.]

"In this world you will have tribulation" , then comes the promise ! "I have overcome the world", praise God !

Sorry I can't engage, believe me there is plenty to criticize and I do my share off the cuff. But I can't think of them to post a list in negativity, instead choose to go after the promises .

 

[royal priest]

You're too slow. Your sister will cook dinner because we want to eat before bedtime.

What aren't your grades as good as your sister's?

Why are you dressed like that --- that blouse doesn't go with that skirt!

Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Why didn't you dress up for this special occasion?

Can someone add a few more insults to my thread?

It depends on the context of what is happening behind these criticisms. Why does the recipient view these as being insults? Were they intended to be hurtful or constructive?

 

[Rescued One]

"In this world you will have tribulation" , then comes the promise ! "I have overcome the world", praise God !

Sorry I can't engage, believe me there is plenty to criticize and I do my share off the cuff. But I can't think of them to post a list in negativity, instead choose to go after the promises .

Excellent! I'm planning to go there in this thread!

 

[Rescued One]

It depends on the context of what is happening behind these criticisms. Why does the recipient view these as being insults? Were they intended to be hurtful or constructive?

In my observation and as a recipient of constant criticism in childhood, the intent of the criticism didn't alleviate the sting. My mother wasn't always critical, but she believed in "constructive criticism," and said so.

I think it should be avoided 99.9% of the time and most especially when there are kinder ways to teach!

Unkind words leave scars!

Epesians 4:32
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up...

 

[mama2one]

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up...

^ agree better to encourage

for a long time, I had a "positive parenting" article on the fridge/ referred to it often when child was little

give hugs every single day!

 

[Rescued One]

I have to leave now. Good Lord willin' I'll be back.

 

[SANTOSO]

In my observation and as a recipient of constant criticism in childhood, the intent of the criticism didn't alleviate the sting. My mother wasn't always critical, but she believed in "constructive criticism," and said so.

I think it should be avoided 99.9% of the time and most especially when there are kinder ways to teach!

Unkind words leave scars!

Epesians 4:32
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up...

Beloved one, bear disagreements with the love of Christ. For we heard :

“I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”
‭‭Galatians‬ ‭2:20‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Beloved one, since your old nature have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer you who live, but Christ lives in you, so love your mother with the love of Christ.

Beloved one, are you considering this is impossible ? This is what we have heard:

For the LORD will vindicate his people and have compassion on his servants, when he sees that their power is gone and there is none remaining, bond or free. -Deuteronomy 32:36

Beloved one, have your power gone and there is none remaining? Let the Lord vindicate you. Are you not His people? Let the Lord have compassion on you. Are you not His servant ?

So beloved one, the Lord try to tell us not to rely on our strength to vindicate ourselves but to rely on His strength and believe that He vindicates us.

Doesn’t the Lord’s compassion heal wounds or scars ? For we heard that He paid our scars with His scars.

Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. -Isaiah 53:4
But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed. -Isaiah 53:5

Beloved one, let us listen to God’s righteousness. For we heard:

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, -Matthew 6:14
but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. -Matthew 6:15

Beloved one, daily practice righteousness by releasing forgiveness to your mother who has mistreated you.

Beloved one, if you can’t, humble yourself,
ask the Lord’s strength, that you may be given His strength to release forgiveness to anyone who wronged you.

By keeping His commandment, to forgive one another daily, beloved one, you will dwell in the love of Christ. Let this love burn brighter.
For we heard:
But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, which shines brighter and brighter until full day. -Proverbs 4:18

Beloved one, this is what we have heard:
Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually! -Psalms 105:4

When we seek the Lord’s strength continually, we are seeking His grace or steadfast love.

For we heard:
You then, my child, be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus, -2 Timothy 2:1

Beloved one, Christ’s love strengthen us to bear all the disagreements that we may have and continually may have with anyone.

Beloved one, be reconciled with your mother with the love of Christ that strengthen you.

To God be all glory and praise. Amen.

 

[Rescued One]

Thank you, Santoso.

I loved my mother to the end of her life. I'm not bitter, but grateful for the disappointments and hard times of my life. I'm so grateful for God's mercy! I'm grateful for the ways God brought me through the hard times and the current unpleasant circumstances. God laid it on my heart to encourage others the best I can.

Dear Person who is reading this, thank God for the struggles you are enduring. The lesson is to be kind to everyone. Help people in whatever way you can. If you have no money, if you are not able to go outside your home, whatever your circumstances, forgive others and pray.

BE KIND. Instead of criticizing, speak the truth in love with kind words.

 

[aiki]

In my observation and as a recipient of constant criticism in childhood, the intent of the criticism didn't alleviate the sting. My mother wasn't always critical, but she believed in "constructive criticism," and said so.

I think it should be avoided 99.9% of the time and most especially when there are kinder ways to teach!

Unkind words leave scars!

Epesians 4:32
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up...

Have you read 1 Corinthians 5? Or the whole letter? Yes, kindness, tenderness and forgiveness are essential traits of the born-again, Spirit-controlled believer, but so are judgment, challenge and rebuke.

Ephesians 5:11
11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.

1 Timothy 5:20
20 Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear.

2 Timothy 4:2
2 preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching.

Titus 1:9-13
9 He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.
10 For there are many who are insubordinate, empty talkers and deceivers, especially those of the circumcision party.
11 They must be silenced, since they are upsetting whole families by teaching for shameful gain what they ought not to teach.
12 One of the Cretans, a prophet of their own, said, “Cretans are always liars, evil beasts, lazy gluttons.”
13 This testimony is true. Therefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith,

Revelation 3:19
19 As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.

Hebrews 12:5-11
5 and you have forgotten the exhortation which is addressed to you as sons, "MY SON, DO NOT REGARD LIGHTLY THE DISCIPLINE OF THE LORD, NOR FAINT WHEN YOU ARE REPROVED BY HIM;
6 FOR THOSE WHOM THE LORD LOVES HE DISCIPLINES, AND HE SCOURGES EVERY SON WHOM HE RECEIVES."*
7 It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline?
8 But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.
9 Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them; shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits, and live?
10 For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness.
11 All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.

(*All caps formatting is in the software program from which I cut and paste Scripture.)

Some children are naturally gentle, tractable, and sensitive; others are incorrigibly willful, disobedient and aggressive; still others are in between these extremes, a mixture of both. One size does not fit all. The soft, mild, encouraging approach does not work with all children, nor does the tougher, in-your-face approach. Some children respond to an easier, quieter form of training and discipline; others you have to square up to and battle head-on, never giving an inch. Train up a child according to their bent, not according to yours.

 

[SANTOSO]

Thank you, Santoso.

I loved my mother to the end of her life. I'm not bitter, but grateful for the disappointments and hard times of my life. I'm so grateful for God's mercy! I'm grateful for the ways God brought me through the hard times and the current unpleasant circumstances. God laid it on my heart to encourage others the best I can.

Dear Person who is reading this, thank God for the struggles you are enduring. The lesson is to be kind to everyone. Help people in whatever way you can. If you have no money, if you are not able to go outside your home, whatever your circumstances, forgive others and pray.

BE KIND. Instead of criticizing, speak the truth in love with kind words.

Beloved one, it is wonderful to hear your love for your mother despite the adversity that you face. Yes, we should be thankful for God’s mercy. I am glad that God laid on your heart to exhort others, for all we do need in this time of afflictions. May God always strengthen you in endeavor to encourage in the faith. May God’s grace be with you. Amen.