- Mar 28, 2021
- 282
- 51
- 34
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Private
Life stages are a funny thing. I though I had it figured out, what I wanted for my life and what I wanted to do with my life, and, life has this funny way of turning out in a way you never expected.
When I look back on my life, I see someone who completely changed. Someone who I never thought I'd become. And when you realize how different you are from who you thought you'd be, I think that's when it really hits you. Now you have to live with you and be you. And the strange thing is when it hit's you, when you realize how different you are at each "stage" in your life, your never who you wanted to be. Your either better or worse off.
My life has been a mess, and I don't even know where most of the pieces still are yet lol.
It's hard to think about how I really saw myself in a way no one else saw me.How I saw myself, in my mind, living life with a Bible in my hand and a wife and a few kid's and then, I'd do what I could to help people. Life would be Peacefull and I'd die and see God.
At this stage in my life, Knowing my feelings and intentions, It's kind of funny to think how when you really try as hard as you can to accomplish something, it's different. The bad different, no one expects.
Instead of what I thought I smoke cigarettes most days, think about a past that I don't think could have been worse. Everyone rejected me, for one reason or another. I wound up being bored out of my mind in school. Had worthless people basically traumatize me. And now I'm here. In a sand lot. Have a lot of money, feel like I'm going to hell and I'll open up my eyes and everything will be over in a blaze of fire.
This life, psychological is hard. Of your a liar you know you can only get away with it for so long. If you tell the truth, you may become proud and that Sword may fall back on you. never in my life did I even think what would happen would happen. It never occurred to me.
I don't even feel like I'm Capable of Loving people at this point. I've learned so much and I can't trust people for what I know or understand about them. I feel like I'm living life through a fake smile, and even my bodies getting tired of it. O often wonder why things had Tobe this way, and in that, I realize some people really are just evil.
I feel, evil, and I hate it. I have no idea what to do. I'm tired though. Been up too long. Just feel old and I don't know I can relate to anyone.
I've realized I'm selfish though. Aroggant. egotistical. rude. all the things I'm not suppose to be and I started out being the exact opposite right before that belt cracked it's first whip.
Can a beat dog become nice again?
When I look back on my life, I see someone who completely changed. Someone who I never thought I'd become. And when you realize how different you are from who you thought you'd be, I think that's when it really hits you. Now you have to live with you and be you. And the strange thing is when it hit's you, when you realize how different you are at each "stage" in your life, your never who you wanted to be. Your either better or worse off.
My life has been a mess, and I don't even know where most of the pieces still are yet lol.
It's hard to think about how I really saw myself in a way no one else saw me.How I saw myself, in my mind, living life with a Bible in my hand and a wife and a few kid's and then, I'd do what I could to help people. Life would be Peacefull and I'd die and see God.
At this stage in my life, Knowing my feelings and intentions, It's kind of funny to think how when you really try as hard as you can to accomplish something, it's different. The bad different, no one expects.
Instead of what I thought I smoke cigarettes most days, think about a past that I don't think could have been worse. Everyone rejected me, for one reason or another. I wound up being bored out of my mind in school. Had worthless people basically traumatize me. And now I'm here. In a sand lot. Have a lot of money, feel like I'm going to hell and I'll open up my eyes and everything will be over in a blaze of fire.
This life, psychological is hard. Of your a liar you know you can only get away with it for so long. If you tell the truth, you may become proud and that Sword may fall back on you. never in my life did I even think what would happen would happen. It never occurred to me.
I don't even feel like I'm Capable of Loving people at this point. I've learned so much and I can't trust people for what I know or understand about them. I feel like I'm living life through a fake smile, and even my bodies getting tired of it. O often wonder why things had Tobe this way, and in that, I realize some people really are just evil.
I feel, evil, and I hate it. I have no idea what to do. I'm tired though. Been up too long. Just feel old and I don't know I can relate to anyone.
I've realized I'm selfish though. Aroggant. egotistical. rude. all the things I'm not suppose to be and I started out being the exact opposite right before that belt cracked it's first whip.
Can a beat dog become nice again?
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