- Dec 12, 2020
- 40
- 20
- Country
- Indonesia
- Faith
- Protestant
- Marital Status
- Single
Romans 14:23 (NKJV) says, "But he who doubts is condemned if he eats, because he does not eat from faith; for whatever is not from faith is sin."
I have diagnosed Religious Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (Religious OCD), or more commonly known as scrupulosity. Before answering, I plead you to read about the condition. This is a brief description of OCD, adapted from OCD and Christianity by Ian Osborn MD:
Note: I don't think I can rely on the quiet, subtle ways which the Holy Spirit uses to guide other Christians since they are likely to be affected by my condition - they tend to lean towards fearful, catastrophic biases.
I have diagnosed Religious Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (Religious OCD), or more commonly known as scrupulosity. Before answering, I plead you to read about the condition. This is a brief description of OCD, adapted from OCD and Christianity by Ian Osborn MD:
OCD is a tormenting disorder. Unwanted thoughts, called clinical obsessions, charge into the mind and won’t go away. They drive a person to perform repetitive acts, clinical compulsions, to get rid of them. We say that OCD is present when a person suffers from clinical obsessions and compulsions, and they cause significant distress or disability. The difficulty arises in recognizing these two symptoms. The term obsession is often employed for what is more accurately termed a preoccupation, such as coach’s “obsession” with winning. That’s not a clinical obsession.
Clinical compulsions, the other half of the equation, are purely secondary phenomena, acts performed solely to put right a tormenting thought. They may be physical behaviors, such as checking, washing, or asking for reassurance; or they may be purely mental acts, such as conjuring up a pleasant image or repeating a phrase over and over in one’s mind. An obsession strikes, anxiety mounts, and a repetitive act provides a temporary way out. Compulsions are repetitive acts that are clearly excessive, performed solely in order to lessen the anxiety caused by an obsession.
Now, with that being said, we'll move on to the question I have. I only recently paid careful attention to this verse in Romans. My OCD mind excessively brings up things that are morally in the "gray area." I really mean the word "excessively" here. Let me illustrate for you the situation.Clinical compulsions, the other half of the equation, are purely secondary phenomena, acts performed solely to put right a tormenting thought. They may be physical behaviors, such as checking, washing, or asking for reassurance; or they may be purely mental acts, such as conjuring up a pleasant image or repeating a phrase over and over in one’s mind. An obsession strikes, anxiety mounts, and a repetitive act provides a temporary way out. Compulsions are repetitive acts that are clearly excessive, performed solely in order to lessen the anxiety caused by an obsession.
I was studying the book The Grace Awakening by Swindoll at around 11 PM using Kindle on my iPad. And questions started popping in my head. Is it wrong for me to reproduce parts of this book's text into another app for my own personal study? Is it considered fair use? What about me reproducing a textbook content by revamping it for educational purposes in my nonprofit? Is this considered fair use? If so, what if the amount of content reproduced from the textbook is significant?
As I searched the internet for answers, an answer from Reddit popped up. Reddit is blocked by my government. Is it wrong or sinful for me to read the preview of the answer on my Google search page since my government does not want me to use Reddit? It is now 12 AM. Is it wrong for me to continue studying the book this late? Is it wrong for me to continue searching for answers to these doubts to relieve the anxiety and distress? Is it wrong that I open Christian Forums and ask for others to help me since it is already late?
I think you get it. I know you can get the answers to these questions if you take the time to investigate, but that is not my point. New ones keep popping up. These excessive questions in the "gray area" of morality produce a lot of uncertainty, anxiety and distress in me. And combining this with Romans 14:23, I would need to think deeply of whether my next course of action would be morally justified, so that I do not have doubt and thus, do not sin. As you can imagine, this is really mentally exhausting. What biblical advice would you have for me? Thanks! As I searched the internet for answers, an answer from Reddit popped up. Reddit is blocked by my government. Is it wrong or sinful for me to read the preview of the answer on my Google search page since my government does not want me to use Reddit? It is now 12 AM. Is it wrong for me to continue studying the book this late? Is it wrong for me to continue searching for answers to these doubts to relieve the anxiety and distress? Is it wrong that I open Christian Forums and ask for others to help me since it is already late?
Note: I don't think I can rely on the quiet, subtle ways which the Holy Spirit uses to guide other Christians since they are likely to be affected by my condition - they tend to lean towards fearful, catastrophic biases.