Question for the Ladies, Men Can Answer as well if they want to

[usexpat97]

It sounds like its a reference to hens laying eggs.

If you're Taiwanese, it's a code word for hacker victims.

 

[bèlla]

I dont agree with patronizing people, its a gender double standard.

Sammy,

I appreciate courtesy and genuine expressions of good will. I don’t look for angles or narratives.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

 

[Albion]

Why wouldnt the term lady work well? I hate the term young lady it just sounds like trying to mix two different categories.

Yeh. I don't like "young lady" either. It sounds patronizing.

 

[Sammy-San]

Yeh. I don't like "young lady" either. It sounds patronizing.

Condescending?

 

[Sammy-San]

Yeh. I don't like "young lady" either. It sounds patronizing.

It especially sounds wierd if another young person says it.

 

[Sammy-San]

I think there are differences, although I think the challenge to perceived gender roles is a strong hatred for both of them.

Why do people care about gender roles?

 

[Sammy-San]

I grew up in a Christian household that viewed witchcraft as evil. Those books and films were banned in my house. Plus most of my friends thought Harry Potter was lame.. so I didn't really have an opportunity to watch it elsewhere.

I dont think witch movies are evil neccesarily because of the connection to satan but more the people having little god powers and having wierd names like witch.

 

[Sammy-San]

I don't think that's true. What's true is that elements of masculinity have been identified as "toxic" while toxic elements of femininity have merely been doffed off as "being female."

What are toxic elements of being feminine?

Women using the word girlfriend in ways men dont use the word girlfriend and neither gender uses the term boyfriend is an oddity.
A girlfriend is like a quasi marital non vulgar way of saying lover, or it could be people who are meeting each other to see if they would like to be spouses, which is another situation in which it has a connection to sexuality, or, a connection to gender without intention, different other uses of word. Maybe the latter situation is a relationship similar to friendship but not exactly one, nor is it a "girl friend" or "friend girl" situation, so girlfriend is a vague term that makes perfect sense to use.

Only women using it that way to me has quasi homosexual connotations or maybe it has something to do with estrogen. Maybe because of those qualities, men saying, "this is my girlfriend" sounds wierd and not sisterly, and men and men and men and women using the word boyfriend, because of the absence of those qualities, sounds indirectly quasi inappropriate or it sounds bizzare, like an idolatrous obsessive relationship, or like a romantic friendship, or like a proto marriage relationship.

 

[Sammy-San]

I thought I already explained this? Some men are, but not to the same extent. Psychologically a woman taking on a man's role isn't going to have the same anger as a man taking on a woman's role. Although there is still blowback with the former, it's just a wall that's more easily defeated.

The term girlfriend is not used to the same extent by men platonically, as it is by women. The same with the term boyfriend with anyone. Women dont say friendgirl, a term that is often used as a joke amongst or to a man. How do you think all that works?

 

[RDKirk]

What are toxic elements of being feminine?

Hypergamy, for one.

 

[Sammy-San]

Hypergamy, for one.

Do you think women using the word girlfriend in ways only they use gender plus friend to describe a new type of relationship like a friendship, is an example of toxic feminity? It sounds quasi romantic in my opinion.

I think promiscuity is more looked down upon or viewed as trashy in males than in females. I think some double standards arent really double standards. For example, people making black people jokes has connotations of making fun of how people look, more so than other ethnic jokes, even though based on what the Bible says about being sober, people telling jokes all the time isnt really sober, and those kind of jokes are a gray area.

Women calling it each the b or c word being more acceptable than men using it at women, is akin to black people using the n word not being as not nice as anyone else not using it, although anyone using that kind of language is not right.

 

[MehGuy]

Why do people care about gender roles?

Why do you think? We evolved gender roles for survival reasons. Nothing is wasted. Gender roles are psychologically embedded within us. Even those who pride themselves for not caring about such things and being above such stuff often falter when you look a little deeper into their psychology.

Something I have learned about myself these past several years. Growing up gender roles did not really make much sense too me, yet digging a little deeper I can find them there. Albeit in my case I think genetic mutations make me express gender roles in a somewhat skewed manner. I used to look down on conservative and feminist men, and while I have been willing to treat women like dirt just as men, there are times where my white knighthood becomes really sappy. Even if my expressions are somewhat different, I am not immune and above such things.

There is also good reason for there being more historical pushback against men acting like women than the other way around. Men evolved a psychology to be more expendable for a reason. Mainly sperm is cheaper than eggs. Losing a few men is not the same deal to a population as losing women are. One man can impregnate multiple women. It makes perfect sense that we evolved socially to be more protective over women's physical well being more than men. Hence the reason women are more neotenous than men on average. Evolution works as increments. The easiest path for women to be perceived more worthy of protection is them piggybacking physical cues such as cuteness and smallness that we have already evolved for being protective over children.

When a man takes on more feminine roles and mannerisms other people take this as him broadcasting that he may not fulfill his role as a man to potentially lay down his life for a woman, and even worse expect to be treated as a woman and given the same protection and safety that isn't given to a man. This can send many people men and women into a frenzy.

There are of course interesting exceptions to the rule. Human psychology is complex. Men of higher status are naturally given more protection and care than men of lower status. People in the past have pointed out men in centuries past wore makeup and more elaborate colorful clothes as proof that gender roles are social constructs that change in time. Yet I am not so sure about that. The higher classes did, yet the more common man had more a of a rugged appearance. I think when you see instances of men acting more feminine and not being punished for it, it is still within our biology. Those men are of importance so the idea of them giving out more cues of protection is understandable. All men might have a switch where under certain social circumstances they act more feminine. Still.. at the end of the day I see a biological competent. Something that doesn't threaten the women "child" man "parent" evolved psychology view.

 

[Sammy-San]

Why do you think? We evolved gender roles for survival reasons. Nothing is wasted. Gender roles are psychologically embedded within us. Even those who pride themselves for not caring about such things and being above such stuff often falter when you look a little deeper into their psychology.

Something I have learned about myself these past several years. Growing up gender roles did not really make much sense too me, yet digging a little deeper I can find them there. Albeit in my case I think genetic mutations make me express gender roles in a somewhat skewed manner. I used to look down on conservative and feminist men, and while I have been willing to treat women like dirt just as men, there are times where my white knighthood becomes really sappy. Even if my expressions are somewhat different, I am not immune and above such things.

There is also good reason for there being more historical pushback against men acting like women than the other way around. Men evolved a psychology to be more expendable for a reason. Mainly sperm is cheaper than eggs. Losing a few men is not the same deal to a population as losing women are. One man can impregnate multiple women. It makes perfect sense that we evolved socially to be more protective over women's physical well being more than men. Hence the reason women are more neotenous than men on average. Evolution works as increments. The easiest path for women to be perceived more worthy of protection is them piggybacking physical cues such as cuteness and smallness that we have already evolved for being protective over children.

When a man takes on more feminine roles and mannerisms other people take this as him broadcasting that he may not fulfill his role as a man to potentially lay down his life for a woman, and even worse expect to be treated as a woman and given the same protection and safety that isn't given to a man. This can send many people men and women into a frenzy.

There are of course interesting exceptions to the rule. Human psychology is complex. Men of higher status are naturally given more protection and care than men of lower status. People in the past have pointed out men in centuries past wore makeup and more elaborate colorful clothes as proof that gender roles are social constructs that change in time. Yet I am not so sure about that. The higher classes did, yet the more common man had more a of a rugged appearance. I think when you see instances of men acting more feminine and not being punished for it, it is still within our biology. Those men are of importance so the idea of them giving out more cues of protection is understandable. All men might have a switch where under certain social circumstances they act more feminine. Still.. at the end of the day I see a biological competent. Something that doesn't threaten the women "child" man "parent" evolved psychology view.

What does wearing makeup have to do with being an egg bearer?

 

[MehGuy]

What does wearing makeup have to do with being an egg bearer?

Makeup often gives a more youthful appearance.

Also side question. You do not have to answer but are you a man or a woman?

 

[Sammy-San]

Makeup often gives a more youthful appearance.

Also side question. You do not have to answer but are you a man or a woman?

What does that have to do with what I said though? I think that humans have a different gender dimorphism than animals that has to do with people being made in Gods image. A psychologist said about transgenders that gender isnt about appearence or anatomy but about self perception but as a functional concept it has to do with both of those things.

 

[Sammy-San]

Makeup often gives a more youthful appearance.

Also side question. You do not have to answer but are you a man or a woman?

So this has to do with homophobia being more prevalent in men too?

I disagree with what you said about youthful appearence, to a degree. A man with long hair and somewhat soft features can appear more youthful than a handsome woman. Its also interesting that handsome woman is a more common and acceptable term to use than pretty boy. It sounds like it has something to do with what you said about youthful appearence.

 

[Sammy-San]

Hypergamy, for one.

Why is it more common in women than in men?

 

[MehGuy]

What does that have to do with what I said though? I think that humans have a different gender dimorphism than animals that has to do with people being made in Gods image. A psychologist said about transgenders that gender isnt about appearence or anatomy but about self perception but as a functional concept it has to do with both of those things.

Yeah and what cues do youthfulness give out? Something to be protected and cared for?

Of course I am not arguing that makeup is strictly for women. Male actors and news presenters use it, but not in the same way many women do. For shock value such as Twister Sister. Even the odd woke man who appears in make up out of his normal character spends much of his time talking about how much more manly he is than other men because he isn't afraid to wear it. Don't think he's wearing it for the same reason women do.. lol.

 

[Sammy-San]

Yeah and what cues do youthfulness give out? Something to be protected and cared for?

Of course I am not arguing that makeup is strictly for women. Male actors and news presenters use it, but not in the same way many women do. For shock value such as Twister Sister. Even the odd woke man who appears in make up spends much of his time talking about how much more manly he is than other men because he isn't afraid to wear it. Don't think he's wearing it for the same reason women do.. lol.

Something to be protected and cared for reminds me of what I said about eggs.

I disagree that the last sentence you said is similar to gender dimorphism in animals or contradicts what I said about females are indirectly in Gods image and created because God knew Adam was but flesh.

I think everything mentioned in my reply and what you said has to do with why handsome woman is a more common term than "pretty man" or "pretty boy"

 

[RDKirk]

Why is it more common in women than in men?

See MehGuy's answer in post #172