Thanks for taking the time to write an excellent response in a gentle spirit. As to these scriptures, here is where I am coming from.
Romans 8:26, in fact says nothing about speaking in tongues.
Romans 8:26-27 (KJV)
26 Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. 27 And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what
is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to
the will of God.
In this text, it does not make sense that God is searching the mind of the Holy Spirit. Thus v 27 should be assumed to be human spirit. Also v26, the second mention of Spirit is likely our human spirit. If it was the Holy Spirit just making the intercession for us, then how can we explain all the bad outcomes? For God to make all things work together for good, it is the Holy Spirit, helping us pray in the human spirit, in tongues, groaning the will of God for us in our lives and producing the all things work together. That is the way I was taught those verses and though perhaps not mainstream, certainly a viable and more logical interpretation.
Then you used John 4:13-14 (KJV), but here again there is no mention of speaking in tongues in that Scripture.
The scriptures in John are interesting. Taken together, they are not both talking about the born again experience. John 4:13 is about being born again, and describes the well of water spring up to eternal life. John 7:37 though we move on to talk about the baptism of the Holy Spirit. It is earmarked for believers.."he that believeth on me" and talks about "out of your belly shall flow rivers of living water" This is the overflowing of the Holy Spirit, with outward signs as often is found in Acts. You are right it does not say speaking in tongues directly. However, it does not exclude this interpretation either. The same can be said for
Jude 1:20 (KJV) 20 But ye, beloved, building up yourselves on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Ghost. This seems to perfectly correlate with
1 Corinthians 14:4 (KJV) 4 He that speaketh in an
unknown tongue edifieth himself;
Acts 8:14 helps in that these were born again and baptized believers, that did not have the baptism of the Holy Spirit. So Peter and John went there and while no tongues are mentioned, there was something clearly visible that Simon saw through the laying on of hands. So what is that outward sign? The only thing logical is prophecy, tongues or both.
In Acts 10:44, it could not just have been Peter. The Holy Ghost fell on the gentiles, they received the gift of the Holy Spirit, the baptism.
Acts 10:46-47 (KJV) 46 For they heard
them (the gentiles) speak with tongues, and magnify God.
Because the gentiles spoke in tongues, they were now allowed to be baptized. Basically this outlines three possibilities that exist today. (1) born again, (2) baptized in water, (3) baptized in the Holy Spirit with evidence of speaking in tongues. While you need only to be born again for salvation, most opt for the baptism in water, and many do experience the baptism in the Holy Spirit with evidence of speaking on tongues.
Acts 19:6 (KJV)
6 And when Paul had laid
his hands upon them, the Holy Ghost came on them; and they spake with tongues, and prophesied.
Taken together these scriptures do seem to logically present a case for the baptism of the Holy Spirit for every believer. Of course, this creates alternative interpretations of certain scriptures but so do many church doctrines do have several diverging paths; from once save always saved, to end time scenarios. So if the subject of tongues has different paths, it is really no surprise. Tongues, does not make the believer better in themselves, there is nothing to boast. It is given to have power to be a witness. This power seems evident as the churches that generally have more growth and outward signs are Charismatic in nature, even including the Catholic Charismatics.
I did find some common ground of this discussion within the Catholic context. The author, whom I do not agree with entirely, does address many of the same issues.
Library : A Closer Look at Charismatic Renewal
I do wish you the best and am glad you are grounded in the word of God, and seem to have studied it further and deeper than I. Still, I would not discount experience and diversity in the things of God though. God bless