Why do I keep hearing my dad's voice in my head when I am half way sleep? It keeps happening. Or sometimes I just keep getting so many dreams about him. You see, I don't trust my dad. A long time ago my intuition was telling me that something about my dad wasnt right. I can't really put my finger on it but I know he's not to be trusted. I don't know what it is about him but just something's not right. He's very controlling and goes through my notes (he hasn't done it in a while, but maybe he think he has me right where he wants me). I get this strange intuitive feeling sometimes like he loves to see me unhappy because he wants me to always depend on him for everything. It s like something is always trying to keep me dependent on him and I just want my own life now. I'm about to be 30 soon and this is not how I want my life to be. I want love but I do not feel loved. It's like I feel like my dad stalks me and not out love but for control over me and to see and know just what I'm up to all the time. Something doesn't feel right guys, sometimes I feel like I'm in a spiritual warfare with him. Like there's a war for my soul. One time I said to him "you're trying to take this family to hell" and he said I was psychic. So my wonder is, if that is possible then why would my own dad want to do something like that to me? What can I do? What prayer can make? I'm at my wit's end but I have been fighting whatever this spirit of that's coming through my dad for a long time. He truly feels like he is not harming me mentally but he is constantly putting everyone down and sometimes you can just feel it around him like there is this thing just draining you of your energy. I feel completely drained around him. He has abused me before and stabbed me with a thumb tack and claimed that wasn't abuse. He has everyone around him believing that he is treating me right and I'm just crazy but that's not the truth and nobody even cares either. They don't try to stand up for me, they just go right along with it.
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Kristen.NewCreation and FreeinChrist
What's Wrong With Me?
- Thread starter FightTheFlesh
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SeekingGloryOnThisJourney
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I’m so sorry to hear this!
You are an adult. You don’t belong to someone who is trying to make you stumble. You belong to God.
This is your life.
God has a destiny for each person and you are His.
Not your fathers.
I too had a similar parental experience.
You foundation isn’t built on them. You do have a life. It took time to realize it for me but you do.
Are you living with them?
It’ll be hard to move out if so, but you probably should if you are financially able.
Once quarantine ends spend time out a lot.
Alone.
But not too much to make him suspicious.
I’ll pray for you, ask God to reveal His Will so you may obey.
Praying!
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Yeah. I just had it again. In another dream he's trying to kill me. When I am happy he gets nervous. I really dont know what's going on or where I am being decieved at, if I am being decieved. He wants full control over me and I sense something perverted about this relationship between me and him. God isnt helping me. Everytime I get ready to get help something bad happens. My dad was kissing me on my neck once when I got to a really low state and that makes me want to hurt him and I know that's what he's trying to do, sow seeds of hatred in me to kill my joyful spirit. I dont know if I should run away from home but everytime I make a choice to leave it's usually on a day where nothing can be done like I'm on constant bad timing. I do not trust him and my relationship with him is abnormal. Yes I still live with them because I had a mental breakdown 3 times and they said I needed a guardian and they gave me my aunt which is his sister but I'm still living with him.
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I also believe I have an undiagnosed disability that makes it hard for me to work. A disorder called tmau or something similar which causes abnormal body odor which causes me shame and humiliation. I've never been diagnosed but I know I have something similar. This prevents me from being able to hold a job down. I believe my dad is doing witchcraft and nobody believes us. He told me that I'm supposed have complete obedience to him and I find something perverted about the situation. How do I get away from him? The quarantine that keeps coming is blocking me from getting help and I feel God is nowhere to be found. I've applied for unemployment and every single thing didnt work for me. I have no money and no place to stay and I'm getting older. I really need help and some place to stay to get back on my own two feet.
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My mom is sick and my dad is filthy and has us living in filthy conditions. He monitors us and tries to figure out things about us to know what we're gonna do before we do it.
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He competes with me and tries to be apart of everything I do in order to have his name be apart of any success from me. He does not want me doing anything with my art.
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Basically he will do anything in his power to block me from any promise God has on my life but yet when I pray to God for a breakthrough things get worse or nothing happens at all. I'm started to wonder if I'm even apart of the kingdom of God.
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Time is wasting away and I'm getting older and my parents are constantly asking for our money cause my dad cant take care of my mom. My mom when she gets mad calls me Lucifer, satan the devil ect. And says I do things on purpose.
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I don't know how he got inside my head but I want him out but i do not understand what is going on. I've prayed to God. Got no answer. The only thing for ms to do is move out but I dont have the money or the place to stay, Corona is coming back and soon things will be back to what it was. Corona is making it harder for me and it makes me wonder if God is even for me. My dad seemed to have calmed down but I think that's because he thinks he's done just enough damage to block me from getting to where God wants me. I know the prayer "God deliver me from the evil man who has purposed to overthrow my goings" I said it byt nothing happened. Applied for jobs and dodnt get it. Applied for unemployment didnt get it but yet it worked for my brother and not me. Should I even worship God? Is God for my dad? Why does it seem that God is allowing my dad's wishes and prayers to be answered but not mine?
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Also I dont love anyone so I think I'm asexual and since I have no place to go I cant just ask random men for a place to live cause I know they're gonna be expecting sex. And I ain't that kinda woman. What do I do? I feel like this thing wants me to fall into all types of sins I never had a reason to or would never do like something wants prostitution.
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SeekingGloryOnThisJourney
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Dear, I’m so very sorry, I wish I could physically help you, I can tell you’re desperate to escape, I can only Pray for you but I know my God is protecting you from those who are harming you. Do not fear...
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It's okay and thanks. I've been going through this for 5 years and I don't want to say im growing hopeless, I'm pretty sure the devil doesn't have that much power that everytime I'm about to have a breakthrough another Corona breakout happens unless this whole time it's God doing it. I feel like he's trying to break my will and I will never give in!!!
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kaijo
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Sounds like your dad has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Just like my mum. Narcissistic Personality Disorder - HelpGuide.org
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SANTOSO
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Brother, it is good that you have the strength to confront what is wrong with yourself, though you are not satisfied at how you were being treated by your father ?
We all know that your pains that you mention is hurt and God can heal your heart and lead you aright.
We understand that you felt alone and oppressed in this situation. Despite that, the Lord Jesus Christ can turn to you and show you favor.
When David being hunted relentlessly by his father in law who was then a king in the country, David have said this :
The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses. -Psalms 25:17
Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins. -Psalms 25:18
Yes, David long the Lord God to bring him out of distress and we believe that you long for that, too.
In this affliction and trouble that David had, he also consider important that the Lord God forgives all his sins. Why ? That David may find the Lord’s grace in this time of need.
Brother, remember what the Lord have said:
But I say to you that everyone who is ANGRY WITH his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, 'You fool!' will be liable to the hell of fire. -Matthew 5:22
So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, -Matthew 5:23
leave your gift there before the altar and go. FIRST BE RECONCILED TO your brother, and then come and offer your gift. -Matthew 5:24
What I am trying to say that you have many things that you are angry with what your father has said and done to you because the way he mistreated you displease you, make you upset and angry — consider what the Lord have said FIRST that your need is to BE RECONCILED.
Bear with me! I am not here to judge you and blame you or say that you are not right!
I understand it is not easy! But you have relied on your strength and understanding to resolve this situation to no avail. Why ?
You have to remember what the Lord have said :
I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for APART FROM ME you can do nothing. -John 15:5
If you want to bear fruit of peace that guard your mind and heart, you cannot do APART from the Lord.
You need to rely on His strength not on your strength.
You need to rely on His understanding not on your own understanding.
When you are in union with Christ, you can bear much fruit of peace.
You need to know this:
May the LORD give strength to His people! May the LORD bless His people with peace! -Psalms 29:11
We are God’s people and this promise belong to us. You can gain the Lord’s strength and receive His blessing of peace.
I understand after what you have been through for many years, you felt justified in your anger but let God be your vindicator !
Remember what David had been through many years when pursued by his father in-law who want to control his destiny. This is what David have said in prayer to God:
From your presence let my vindication come! Let your eyes behold the right! -Psalms 17:2
You see David doesn’t depend on his righteousness but on God’s righteousness that comes from His presence.
This is what David learns from the Lord God:
Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices! -Psalms 37:7
Refrain from ANGER, and forsake WRATH! FRET not yourself; it tends only to evil. -Psalms 37:8
I understand that you may feel or think that your father had done evil toward you. Despite that, you have to take heart what David has been told that you may gain wisdom.
what to do then? you may ask if my father keeps repeating the same mistakes. This is what we have heard:
but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father ( in Heaven) forgive your trespasses. -Matthew 6:15
You may say that now you don’t have the strength to forgive! What to do then?
This is what we have heard:
He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. -Isaiah 40:29
Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; -Isaiah 40:30
but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. -Isaiah 40:31
The Lord can give His strength to you to forgive your father.
Just obey the Lord. You know yourself that you have tried your strength and understanding all these years to no avail. Just trust the Lord God and He will give you the strength to carry you through.
Perhaps, you may say that you have prayed but there is no answer from God. You must understand that there are prayer hindrances. Besides not being reconciled, there is this:
Behold, the LORD's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save, or his ear dull, that it cannot hear; -Isaiah 59:1
but your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not hear. -Isaiah 59:2
If you want the Lord God to save you from this situation and hear your prayers, you need to remove all prayers’ hindrances that have been told.
Come to the Lord humbly, wait for His steadfast love and mercy that are new every morning, seek the Lord God wholeheartedly and repent in true contrition daily. Then you will taste His grace of repentance, and receive the joy of His forgiveness and strength to keep His ways.
Brother, if you are willing to confront yourself with what is wrong with yourself. You need to consider this when you are suffering for what is wrong, repent that you may come back to the Lord’s side and find His grace.
If you are suffering for what is right, you are suffering for righteousness’ sake or for Christ’s sake, and this is what we have heard ：
But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. -1 Peter 4:13
When you don’t know whether you are suffering for what is wrong or right, seek the Lord’s wisdom ; For He gives it without reproach.
when you feel this suffering or cross is too heavy for you to bear, remember what the Lord have said :
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. -Matthew 11:28
Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. -Matthew 11:29
For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." -Matthew 11:30
Why take the Lord’s yoke and burden? It is because the Lord Jesus Christ inside your heart is also bearing this suffering with you.
That is the wealth of His grace that the Lord lavish on us who are in union with Him.
Come to the Lord Jesus Christ and pray to Him:
Lord Jesus Christ,
I bless my father who offend and mistreat me.
I have been hurt, upset, disappointed, and mistreated but now I release forgiveness to my father who hurt, upset, disappoint and mistreat me.
I thank you, Heavenly Father.
when I bless my father, ....,
I get blessing coming my way.
I am inheriting heavenly blessings today. Amen
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