1 Peter 3:1-4, I would say, does not guarantee what the results will be. It says to be a good example, in order that someone
"might" be won by the good example of the wives.
But the Bible does say,
"A soft answer turns away wrath" (in Proverbs 15:1).
So, God's way of submissiveness can help. But Jesus indeed was perfectly submissive to God and He was nailed to the cross.
If there is abuse, I understand that the abused person might be doing nothing to help to cause it. But there can be ways to help abuse to happen, I think.
One obvious one is marrying someone who our Father does not have a person marry, and this can include being pronounced by someone who can't tell the difference.
Also, arguing can help set a person off, though the abuse is the abuser's own fault. We can help to tempt people do give in to how they can do what is bad.
And there are ones who had an abusive parent, and they do not know how to relate with nonabusive people; so they marry one, then help the abuse to happen by staying in and even covering up for the situation. So, being submissive in such a case might not be how God means to be submissive. And if your mother was like that . . . I say "if" . . . then being more submissive in the way that helped the abuse would not be good.
I have been abused in different ways, but I was a different kind of a rascal. In each case, I confronted it and got out of the situation. It was not in marriage. And I was an aggressive person, myself; so when ones did stuff to me, I took action. I would confront, then maneuver to get away, then negotiate with different people in order to maintain the separation and not stir up trouble with anyone. I would be aggressive to get away, then talk like a wimp where I knew no one could control me to get back.
So, I was not a victim type sinner, but an aggressive person and maybe I was fairly clever.
One woman I visited pounded the back of my neck, right in front of her mother. I confronted that. She didn't seem worried that pounding my neck could cripple me; I was thinking maybe I was in a very dangerous situation > maybe she was trying to cripple me so they could capture me. So, I did not get crazy, but simply maneuvered closer and closer to getting in my car and getting out of there; I did not talk at all about never coming back, because I knew that could provoke her to make more of an effort to disable me if she really was capable of that. But later I did phone her, but for some reason it never was time for me to go back there. I would say, we need to be good, we need to make sure we are being good with each other; and talking on the phone is a perfectly fine way to make sure we are good with each other. Maybe I said how we were doing so better, by talking on the phone; and she had told me to be holy; so what we were doing had to be so good.
Yeah, I'm a guy. Another one didn't make sure I knew what she was into . . . with her female roommate. But I caught on and got away, to keep it simple, after chasing her down after she had been with another one. She had told me she was home. Then I visited her mother's place during a Christmas party. I opened a beer and she came up to me with her eyes in my face, but I saw her unpinch her fingers over the mouth of the bottle. So, may be she put something in it. I knew this could be a very dangerous situation. So, I pretended I had drunk so much beer that I needed to pee > I had been tipping the bottle but blocking it from pouring into my mouth. In the bathroom, I dumped the beer, rinsed the bottle, then filled it with water and came out guzzling away. And I said, well it takes a while to drive home; so I need to leave early. She followed me to my care, looking bewildered, reached to touch my wrist, but seemed to take time to check my pulse . . . may be to see if some drug had effected my pulse. And then she looked quite perplexed. I said something like, things don't go the way we think, sometimes. And I left.
So . . . women can do stuff, too . . . I would say.
And their result can be they will never find out how to love.
I suspect I have seen how a number of women can be dominating and controlling. I have given a few the slip, leaving their churches. But now I'm staying . . . and seeing what becomes of ones who abuse me and/or abuse themselves. They pay too dear a price, not being able to discover how to love >
"submitting to one another in the fear of God." (Ephesians 5:21)
There are ones not capable of any kind of submission. They can scream how they won't be the slave of some man . . . right while they are slaves of their own un-subject, self-abusing spirit which keeps them from enjoying Jesus Christ's
"rest for your souls." (in Matthew 11:28-30)
It is tempting to look down on them, after they have treated me like a peon.
But maybe I can do with them what 1 Peter 3:1-4 says for wives to do with men
while enjoying sharing with the people who have hope for ones who are ruined from love. We have people who don't give up on anyone . . . a good example for me.
