Making Meaningful Guy Friends as a Guy

[Kevin-D.77]

Growing up, I've always felt more closer with my mom. I think that is why I usually gravitated more towards befriending the opposite sex more easily than guys. Pretty much through all my schooling, girls have been some of my closest friends. But I'm realizing now as a 28 year old that it would be nice to have close guy friends too. As much as I love talking to my current girlfriend, there are just some things she's not gonna get (i know it goes that way for me when fully trying to understand her). Most of my church friends are older men, and they rock for sure, but I definitely want to find someone closer to my age who I can vent to. It certainly hasn't helped that I moved 3 times for school/work but I guess I'm wondering where to start.

 

[Kevin-D.77]

Also as a side, my current job is primarily operated by women so no luck to be found there

 

[thecolorsblend]

Society is already pretty atomized. But we Millennials are more atomized than most.

Honestly, I'd recommend looking up people you knew in high school so that you can build on a shared history.

If that's not possible, try looking for friends among people with shared interests. I find that friendships based on common interests tend to be less stable than friendships based on shared history. But that may be the only option you've got.

There's also neighbors. I don't know any of my neighbors names even tho we've lived next to each other for years now. So making friends with neighbors probably isn't a bad idea... ordinarily. But, y'know, COVID.

No matter what, I think your best bet is making friends out in meat space. Online buddies are fine but there's no real replacement for irl friendships.

 

[Kevin-D.77]

Society is already pretty atomized. But we Millennials are more atomized than most.

Honestly, I'd recommend looking up people you knew in high school so that you can build on a shared history.

If that's not possible, try looking for friends among people with shared interests. I find that friendships based on common interests tend to be less stable than friendships based on shared history. But that may be the only option you've got.

There's also neighbors. I don't know any of my neighbors names even tho we've lived next to each other for years now. So making friends with neighbors probably isn't a bad idea... ordinarily. But, y'know, COVID.

No matter what, I think your best bet is making friends out in meat space. Online buddies are fine but there's no real replacement for irl friendships.

Spot on. I have 3 high school friends that I keep in contact with pretty regularly but I think I could only really call one if I was in a crisis. And I've made friends over my travels over interest and like you said, were not as strong so that's almost like a text or something every couple of months. I'm now trying to seek out people who are more biblically minded and are serious about their faith in my area who are around my age and honestly it is difficult. Even some of the Christians I've met were not spiritually or personality-wise compatible with who I am. But I'm just going to keep praying that God leads me to where I need to be, and inspite of covid going on, I know He can make a way

 

[RDKirk]

Men cement friendships by sharing experiences. You can start with thecolorsblend's response in finding men with the same interests and then start building shared experiences.

And don't worry too much about them being the same age. Sharing experiences matter more than sharing birth years.

As a Christian, sharing missionary trips works excellently--almost like sharing combat experiences.

 

[Kevin-D.77]

Men cement friendships by sharing experiences. You can start with thecolorsblend's response in finding men with the same interests and then start building shared experiences.

And don't worry too much about them being the same age. Sharing experiences matter more than sharing birth years.

As a Christian, sharing missionary trips works excellently--almost like sharing combat experiences.

For sure! I definitely believe in making experiences will be what builds the friendship. For me it is now just finding that balance of you're dope to be around and you're also serious about your walk with Christ. Which does tend to be more older people. But I know that I cannot be the only person my age looking for a connection.

 

[venksta]

Have you tried looking for any young adult groups, at local churches? I currently attend two different churches myself. One of them has a young adults group on Thursdays. The group is for both men and woman. However, we split into groups, based on our genders, when we go into study. Its helped me to connect with other godly men my age. The cool thing about this group, is a lot of people who attend, do not attend the regular church service. Its open to all. Maybe you'll be able to find something similiar.

 

[Sketcher]

Growing up, I've always felt more closer with my mom. I think that is why I usually gravitated more towards befriending the opposite sex more easily than guys. Pretty much through all my schooling, girls have been some of my closest friends. But I'm realizing now as a 28 year old that it would be nice to have close guy friends too. As much as I love talking to my current girlfriend, there are just some things she's not gonna get (i know it goes that way for me when fully trying to understand her). Most of my church friends are older men, and they rock for sure, but I definitely want to find someone closer to my age who I can vent to. It certainly hasn't helped that I moved 3 times for school/work but I guess I'm wondering where to start.

How much "older" are these older men?

Are you involved in a Bible study or men's group?

Are there any manly hobbies that interest you, where you could befriend other men that take part in them?

 

[Lizgee]

Growing up, I've always felt more closer with my mom. I think that is why I usually gravitated more towards befriending the opposite sex more easily than guys. Pretty much through all my schooling, girls have been some of my closest friends. But I'm realizing now as a 28 year old that it would be nice to have close guy friends too. As much as I love talking to my current girlfriend, there are just some things she's not gonna get (i know it goes that way for me when fully trying to understand her). Most of my church friends are older men, and they rock for sure, but I definitely want to find someone closer to my age who I can vent to. It certainly hasn't helped that I moved 3 times for school/work but I guess I'm wondering where to start.

I’m not a dude, but happy to weigh in. Definitely Bible study groups are a great place to start; however, I found that the meetup website is a good resource too. There are so many groups that are geared towards different focuses, to include Christian fellowship/Bible studies.

You never know who’s on CF and local to your city/state. I met a couple of CF-ers in person and developed a friendship - at the minimum, you could have online Christian buddies to go to for counsel, etc.

 

[Lizgee]

Growing up, I've always felt more closer with my mom. I think that is why I usually gravitated more towards befriending the opposite sex more easily than guys. Pretty much through all my schooling, girls have been some of my closest friends. But I'm realizing now as a 28 year old that it would be nice to have close guy friends too. As much as I love talking to my current girlfriend, there are just some things she's not gonna get (i know it goes that way for me when fully trying to understand her). Most of my church friends are older men, and they rock for sure, but I definitely want to find someone closer to my age who I can vent to. It certainly hasn't helped that I moved 3 times for school/work but I guess I'm wondering where to start.

Getting plugged into volunteer opportunities may open doors too!

 

[JesseBassett]

I think as an aside it would be helpful if we had a CF member database where we could contact members in our area or state! Imagine the blessings that could come from fellowshipping In Real Life too as well as on here. Just a thought...but back to Kevin's post, I am the same way buddy. I make more friends with females much more easier. I can't explain it...maybe its genetic. My dad is the same way.

 

[Lord Give Me A Sign]

I think as an aside it would be helpful if we had a CF member database where we could contact members in our area or state! Imagine the blessings that could come from fellowshipping In Real Life too as well as on here. Just a thought...but back to Kevin's post, I am the same way buddy. I make more friends with females much more easier. I can't explain it...maybe its genetic. My dad is the same way.

I agree. I was trying so hard to find a Christian group that does outdoor activities like hiking but theres nothing where i live

I realize i need to have Christian friends in my life but its so tough to find anything because of the Corona